How do you find someone special?

So I'm handling my "rejection" from my anonymous approach poorly.

Of course the guy was straight, engaged, etc, etc.

But it followed my tough time after I'd seen the guy I love and can't have.

I don't fall for many guys or girls. It's weird though. I'll meet a guy or girl and I'll be "Wow. This person's special."

They're not stereotypically hot either. Sure, they're usually something special - but different. And there's something else about them. I once wrote, "..like me but better." And they're usually really nice / good people.

They're not a brainless babe, a bulging hunk, an alpha male, etc.

So I obsess and put them on pedestals. Even a guy I've not said more than two words to. He becomes unattainable bliss.

Maybe the fantasy of something working out with the guy/girl of my dreams helps keep me going through loneliness, overwork, etc. Maybe they need to be unattainable so I never have to deal with their flaws. Maybe...

In the meantime, I'm dying. I'm under so much work and study pressure right now. Despite the fact that I hardly know the guy I emailed, he's obliging and cute and he's like me in that he has succeeded at work at a young age. I think the thought of meeting someone similar made this guy even more attractive. Damn. I want to meet someone to share things with. Someone who gets excited by the same things, someone who'll understand.