Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Will you choose to live?

You screamed
You punched me
You cried for your pills
You fought as I restrained you
Until I couldn't take it anymore.

I screamed for you to unlock the gate
I punched the shatterprufe to try and get in
I cried while you slipped away in your flat
I fought to pull the security gate from the wall
And after I broke a lock I found you.

You were better in your slapped-awake drugged state
You giggled at being in your pyjamas
You smiled as I rushed through the morning streets
You liked me again as I rushed you into ER
Then you hated me for saving you.

I am terrified
I got lucky twice
I know I probably won't again
I prayed and God answered
But only you can decide to live.

You can't see your successes
You can't see my love
You are so scared of the future
You can't see the now
And your past pulls you down.

I can't say anything more
I can't find any other ways to show my love
I can't live for you
I am so scared of going to sleep at night
And getting up - mourning.


kyknoord said...

Powerful stuff, whether truth or fiction.

tripeak said...

My throat is dry – it feels like im trying to swallow down a pill without using water… my hands are shaking and with nervous tension I keep on reading... I feel useless thinking that I’m no “friend” as friends won’t allow things like this to happen – but as you said you can only lead a horse to water; you can’t force it to drink. I wish this is a bad dream – but then I remember I haven’t slept in days... what sounded like fiction is turning out to be a desperate struggle against reality. One which we both seem to deal with – yet separately.