Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Don't know where it goes

Been seeing this girl for the last year as a friend. We've been getting closer. She turned down my request to take things further last year, and at the beginning of this year. SHe said she was still in love with her ex.

She's in Cape Town I'm in Jo'burg. There is no doubt in my mind that if we had regular contact, things would naturally progress. But this distance thing is a killer when trying to start a relationship.

In the mean time, our friendship has been progressing so that it's like a relationship without the stuff other than the friendship. That's not just the sex, etc, but also the commitment.

So I finally pushed the button: I'll commute every weekend if we can try a relationship. No promises - it could last two weeks. Bottom line is, I need to know there is potential or not. If not it will be sad, but I need to get on with my life.

It has not gone well. She feels like I am being insensitive to the fact that she has not got over her ex. I feel that she is being insensitive to the fact that I just need to know there is some potential or otherwise I have to invest my energy elsewhere.

She's gone away with some friends now - I think things are over.

Green Day is haunting me...

"Boulevard Of Broken Dreams" - Green Day

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah
Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I walk alone
I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...

7 comments:

ChittyChittyBangBang! said...

Dude, I remember reading about this girl when you were still blogging on MWEB. I understand what you mean with wanting to explore the possibilities with her, but perhaps you have done as much as you could.
Good luck though... it would be a shame to loose her friensdhip in the process.

It is the question said...

Yeah, same girl. I think I have done as much as I could. I can't hang around waiting for her to get over her ex. Inevitably it means creating some distance for a while - it's just to painful being around her at the moment.

I will try and keep the friendship - she's an awesome girl.

kyknoord said...

Uncertainty really pulls at a person's guts. You want me and the lads to stalk her until she gives in? Seriously though, I hope you find resolution on this soon.

It is the question said...

Thanks.

She's away until Tuesday, so hopefully she'll have thought things through when she gets back.

tripeak said...

oh gawd! what's the deal with the attraction between CT and JHB people... seriously - it's like opposites REALLY do attract! Like a moth to a flame. Maybe we find them "soothing our soul" and they love the "adrenalin rush"?? I dunno. My relationships end before they have a chance to begin.

It is the question said...

Yeah, I don't know what it is. I'm an ex-Capetonian, but even that can't explain the percentages: about 90% of the relationships I have seem to be long distance with Cap Town people.

Where are all the Jo'burg girls?

tripeak said...

they move down to live with their Cape Town boyfriends. *sigh* I'm ALMOST desperate enough to submit a profile to datingmatch.co.za LOL.