Pet hate. Big time.
One of my friends is out from Oz. Every now and then I phone Oz and leave a message on his answering machine - he is never at home. N was one of my best friends growing up. I saw his brother in Cape Town in December. Brother tells me that N will be in town in late Jan. So after not hearing anything, I phone his folks to find out when he will be in town - he is already. arrived the previous night. I leave a message with my number. That was a week ago and I have heard nothing. WTF? It is not like we've had an argument or anything?
Another friend of mine changed his cellphone about four years ago and didn't let me know of any new details. So I have not heard anything of him over the last four years. Tonight I look up his dad's number in Cape Town - turns out to be his grandfather. Who gives me his dad's number. Who gives me A's number. I phone, feeling kind of weird after not having spoken to him for all this time. A is ecstatic to hear from me. We're going for coffee this Saturday.
So what is with this? There is me the bachelor vs. most of my married friends, but this lack of contact thing is irritating. It is just rude. I am always tempted not to contact friends who don't contact me. But it really seems like they're ignorant of anything wrong. They enjoy things I organise and seem to enjoy my company.
I phoned a friend in New York this last weekend. That was tough. M was my best friend for about seven years. During that time I confronted the fact that I was bi and realised I'd fallen in love with him. He definitely suspected as much, but after I admitted this to him the tension became unbearable and we argued. I have not spoken to him for about four years. But I missed him so much. He is dead straight and nothing will ever happen between us. But we know each other inside out - he is the only person who really knows me and knows that I am bi - even if others suspect it. Early last year I was at a restaurant with friends and I saw him walk past. The sadness that we'd drifted so far apart was a killer. So I finally swallowed my pride / hurt etc this year and phoned him. Good long chat. Big phone bill...
Life is too short and real friends to few to distance oneself from those that have poor manners. But jeez, it is frustrating.