Other day this bloke caught my eye. Jeez, very much the type of guy that... I fall for some woman and some guys.
Anyway, so I start chatting through my Datingbuzz subscription. He's 26, a pilot and owns two planes through his inheritance. His photos range from cute with some borderline steamy. I give him my number and we start chatting on the phone. I tell him he sounds older...
Nevermind, continue chatting and then some more photos go up - pretty borderline! But he is frikkin good looking and is soon the number one most popular profile on Datingbuzz (the platform behind IoL Dating and a number of other dating sites). He seems nice and he knows I was interested before those steamy pics.
Having learnt my lesson from online dating in the past, I request a coffee before I waste my time for too long (lessons? Frikkin wierdos in real life...)
Day of the proposed meeting his profile disappears and I hear nothing. I leave a message on his phone and am irritated. Then I notice another bloke has favourited me and lives in the same area as previous guy. Except he is 40 and looks less than average.
2+2=...
I send a message to new fan saying "You're ... aren't you?"
I get a message back, "I'd love to answer but I haven't got a subscription yet."
I get a call from the missing person over the weekend. "My new fan is you isn't it?" I ask. Pause. "You're very clever..."
Farkin hell. If he was in front of me I'd have decked him. I keep my cool and ask what the fuck he thinks he's doing. "Hey IITQ, I told you the truth about everything except my photos."
"And your age?"
"Well that too, but everything else..."
"So where on earth did you think this would go?"
"I didn't want to attract someone because I'm a porn star or for my money, or..."
"So you thought an entirely different persona would help?"
"Look if you don't want to continue this I promise not to stalk you or anything... I'll delete your number and you'll never hear from me again."
"Good idea. Goodbye."
Jeez, I must be jaded. Inside I wanted to rip the fucker's head off. And I just said goodbye.
That's it. I don't think their is another vaguely normal person on Datingbuzz. I am too good to be true.
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| Is this you - your photo was used on someone else's dating profile. Of course, it's just as likely you were pinched from some porno... |
