Why did I get these Koi?

I have this thing with fish. I've kept tropical fish at various times growing up.

So when I altered by house, I built the mother of all Koi ponds. It is literally a moat that runs the length of my house.

So I bought another three Koi today - bringing my total to eight. Not cheap either.

SO why did I buy them? I'm seeing more and more parallels between myself and Carter Duryea (the kid from "In Good Company" - see post below). The picture below is of Carter talking to his fish in his office.

Now, got to stop procrastinating and finish the ton of work I need to do before tomorrow. AAAAhhh!

"Here Boy!" Photo: Universal Pictures

Who is Elon Musk?

Thank goodness for Carte Blanche (an excellent South African TV investigative journalism program - along the lines of the US' 60 Minutes). Without it, who would know that we have another South African dot com billionaire.

ELON MUSK CEO of SPACE X TECHNOLOGIES as photographed for THE AUSTRALIAN FINANCIAL REVIEW

Elon Musk is a Pretoria Boys High alumnus who founded Zip2 and co-founded Paypal. He invented technologies used by The New York Times and others. He is listed by Forbes as one of the richest people under 40.

Elon seems really different from Mark Shuttleworth. Shuttleworth has used his money to go to space and is now building a Linux distribution called uBuntu. Ubuntu, incidently, has rocketed to the top of the Linux distribution popularity stakes. Shuttleworth has promised that Ubuntu will always be free and is instead planning to make money from its sponsoring company, Canonical. Why is Elon different? Carte Blanche asked him what he thought of Shuttleworth's trip to space. He responded that his motivation is to do something to advance mankind. He has founded Space X to make affordable space travel possible. Instead of paying hundreds of millions of dollars for a space launch, Space X will make a launch possible for a mere $16m. His plan is to take this further to passenger travel to space.

More details about Elon musk can be found here:

A 2003 Forbes story about Elon Musk and Space X

The Carte Blanche transcript

Elon Musk's Space X

Elon Musk is 34. This is making me feel very old. I'm 32 this month. I was one of those who dreamed of being the next Bill Gates when I was a kid.

Watching Elon Musk and Shuttleworth, especially at this point in my life while I am deciding on my future career directions, I wonder whether to choose the road less travelled and go for glory. Or to play it safe and be comfortable. Writing it like that makes the choice seem obvious. More thinking to do.

October 5, 2004 - Falcon I at SpaceX launch pad, Vandenberg Air Force Base Picture: SpaceX

Incidently, Forbes has many more lists than just the richest people. Find, for example, the world's most overpriced places here.

Is Google Earth the most unbelievable?

For those of you gobsmacked by Google Earth - yeah, pretty incredible - you'll be blown away by World Winds from NASA.

It allows you to zoom around the world applying various overlays to satelite data.

It is a humungous package - 181MB of download - and bandwidth hungry - it downloads up to date satelite info depending on what you zoom in on.

It has unbelievable amounts of info - even cataloging fires buring all over the globe.

Here's a shot of Hurricane Katrina:

Is the death penalty wrong?

'I threw myself over my sisters because I did not want them to watch mommy and daddy die." These were the courageous words of an 11-year-old girl of H section Umlazi, south of Durban, who watched in horror as her parents were shot and killed by a gunman while they were in their car on Wednesday.
____

The brave girl then carried her three-year-old sister and together with her other sisters, ran down the road in search of help.

"We are all alone now because they took away our mom and dad," she said with tears in her eyes.
____

The children's grandmother, Mam Nene, said she had no words to describe the pain she was going through.

"My daughter was a teacher and my son-in-law was a traditional healer. They were both earning an honest living."

"I still can't believe that they are both gone. I am so hurt I don't know what to say," she said.

Nene said she had no choice but to gather courage as she was now left with the responsibility of raising her grandchildren.

"I am old now and live far from these children, they are at school in Durban. It's all up to God now to look after us - He is all we have," she said.
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From The Independent Online, 2 September 2005

I think there is a quote from the Bible, saying vengeance is God's.

I don't think the death penalty is about vengeance. I think it is about removing people from society.

In nature, animals that cannot contribute to a herd are weeded out.

At its essence, society is a similar concept. Social sciences, such as economics are all about contribution to society and the corresponding right to compensation by society. Trade ensures that those who do not have the skills required to contribute remain poor - an incentive, if you like, to acquire relevant skills / means of contributing.

When it comes to morals, similar principles apply - if your morals are consistent with society's needs, you have a set of human rights.

However, if you choose to trample on the rights of others, you forfeit those fundamental rights yourself.

Think of the ripples of tragedy from this heinous crime. A little girl and her siblings whose family apparently had the means to help her become relvant to the New South African economy. Now she will be dependent on a poor old grandmother. What hope does she have?

This in addition to the horror they will have embedded in their minds for the rest of their lives.

Who are these friggin heartless creeps?

Every time I read about a maimed baboon in the Cape my blood boils. The latest is about a baboon found at Glencairn in Cape Town that had been shot with a pellet gun and poisoned. See here for more details.

Baboons are highly socially developed animals and you can imagine what the troop went through as they watched one of there members get sick.

But this is just the latest in a long line of mistreatments. A few months ago, a nearly blind baboon was rescued - blind from poisoning.

Alone and scared: The blind female baboon hides in a tree at the Fisherman's Pub in Kommetjie. Photo: Brenton Geach, Cape Argus

Thank goodness for the people who care and fund the baboon watchers - a full time group of guys who follow the baboons around to make sure they don't cause trouble and people don't mess with them.

To give you an idea of the crualty of baboon poisoning, Jenni Trethowan, who manages the baboon minders, said the young female appeared to be losing her eyesight, her tongue was swollen, she walked awkwardly and kept rubbing her jaw.

She had called in primate specialist Dave Gaynor, who said the baboon's symptoms were consistent with poisoning by an insecticide called aldicarb.

"She gets left behind by the troop because she can't see properly, and then she calls them back and they return. We want the SPCA to dart her and get her out, but we could not get hold of anyone at CapeNature for permission. Now we've lost her."

I won't mince my words here: this is because of the fuckers who have built in environmentally sensitive spots like Scarborough in Cape Town. Who are they to say, "I want to live in naturally beautiful spots but only on my terms."

Baboons have always been an issue around the Cape Town mountain. As kids, a friend and I were chased by a male baboon the size of a small car. Let me tell you, frightening stuff. At Smitswinkel Bay, you have to keep the doors and windows locked to avoid having a baboon troop invade in search of food.

But you take that risk if you choose to stay in those areas.

Thank goodness for people like Jenni of Baboon Matters in Kommetjie, who coaxed the blind baboon down from a tree and tried to catch her with a blanket. The baboon, however, managed to get away. Jenni finally managed to get her caught and treated. Brave woman!

The baboon minders also seem to be genuinely concerned about their charges:

From the Argus, 24 May 2005

A young female baboon is suffering from suspected insecticide poisoning and Eric, the dominant male of the Kommetjie troop, was spotted at the weekend with a broken leg.

This comes after two baboons were shot dead in the southern Peninsula last week.

It is thought that the female was poisoned in Da Gama Park with insecticide, but it is not known whether Eric broke his leg in a fall, whether he was shot or hit by a car.

Jenni Trethowan of Baboon Matters, who manages the baboon monitors, said on Monday that monitors Mzukisi Ntewu and Sana Nyasani had spotted Eric limping.

"The monitors are very concerned. Eric is something of a living legend and they're very attached to him. We would like to dart him and treat his injury, but we decided to leave him with his troop, because William, another baboon, practises infanticide and Eric would not be there to protect the infants from him," Trethowan said.

I say put the baboons in a room with the people who tried to poison them. Baboons can kill a leopard - I am sure a yellow-bellied coward should be no problem.

A tree stronger than a bridge?

As I watch the footage of Hurricane Katrina's aftermath, it blows me away (sorry, only saw that after I'd written this...) that in the scenes of devastation, trees stand amongst the wreckage, while concrete bridges lie in pieces.

The power of nature vs. the pride of man. Humbling stuff.

Trees stand amidst the destruction Photo: ABC News

A highway leading to New Orleans lies in pieces

Don't you hate being ignored?

FFS!

People should know that if they're busy, whatever, just answer and say, "Can't talk now. Can we chat on Wednesday?"

But you know when the phone rings and you know you're being ignored?

Dammit. Drives me up the wall.

Am I gay?

Not exactly a question that drives most of us mad, but a few may have considered it.

Why don't we all ask the question? Well I guess there are a few possible answers:

We push the question out of our minds because we're so uncomfortable with society's / our friends' / our family's reaction to the potential answer

We are revolted at the thought of gay life and wouldn't even consider being with someone of the same sex - not even a kiss - yugh!

We are just so straight (attracted to the opposite sex) it's not even a possibility

Being gay would mean being less male / female

If we were prepared to ask the question, then the answer must be obvious - we're gay.

There is a question?

Well those of you who read this blog know that I question most things.

It's not exactly a new question.

Some years ago I fell in love with my best friend. Before this I'd felt attracted to some guys, but rationalised it away. So isn't the answer obvious then? Thing is, just as I'm attracted to some guys, I'm still attracted to some girls. See for example Keira, Natalie and Scarlett. Big fan. And believe me, the thought of most guys fills me with the typical guy reaction - yugh! So I'm bisexual then. Right?

Never one to go with the flow, the real question for me has been why would I feel either way.

I guess this comes down to the nature vs. nurture question. Let me say right now I'm a big believer in the nurture side of things. Babe raised by wolves thinks it's a wolf, behaves like a wolf, etc. I always think there is truth in both sides of any argument, and so I hear the fact that some people might be predisposed to being gay or not.

And let me say that I hear the argument that says just go with what feels right. I'm not a big believer in this though. I like to know why or if there is a why. Yeah, if I can't figure out the why, or realise there is no specific why, then I'll go with the feeling.

Let me also say that I completely hear the argument that says be true to yourself. I'm ready to be straight or gay - or bi. Easy to say, but I do believe that living a lie is pointless and not only hurts you but all those around you.

So why might I feel one way or the other? And does the why matter?

It's funny. I'm attracted to guys who could be me - only better. Better looking, better at sports achievement, whatever. Complication - they're always straight.

Like the best friend. Wow. The ultimate over-achiever - sports and life in general. Good looking. I told him about it and we lost touch for about three years. He's in a different country. We correspond now and talk on the phone and will doubtless get together in the future. He's pretty supportive and has only really said "Be true to yourself" with regard to my discussion with him from three years ago.

Maybe it's an overachiever / perfectionist thing. I believe that what some of us look for in girls is based on the same issue - we're as good as the fish we catch. Doesn't just have to be girls. It could be any of the trophies of success such as cars, houses, etc.

But why guys? I struggled for approval / fighting unfair times at school. Sometimes I wonder if I'm still looking for approval.

So that's the over-rationalising part of me. I'm sure many people will just say "Deee Ni Al!"

Never one to attack things from one angle, after years of putting it off, I bit the bullet (so to speak) recently and went out with a gay guy. It was fun, but frankly, no more fireworks than I've had with some girls.

I smiled at eKapa's strip joint experience recently. Those girls didn't feel my hipbone. HA HA HA. But there's another post (Oy vey, the pun opportunities are endless, aren't they).

David Bowie was once asked about his sexuality (given the Ziggy Stardust days, not surprising). They asked if he was bi-sexual. He replied, "Actually I think I'm tri-sexual - I went through a phase where I'd try anything!"

I'll experiment some more and we'll see. At the same time I'm working on being happier with me. I've been pretty happy with me for the last 10 years or so. I have achieved. I'm good looking. I have a good sense of humour. I'm fun to be with.

I know the secret is getting over myself. Part of that is forgiving the kid that was me from a long time ago. He was a pretty good kid. Didn't deserve a lot of the shit he went through, which was more about the other kids than it was about him.

I'm also pretty secure in who I am. I adore sport. I love being a typically straight acting guy. Whether I am straight or gay won't change or endanger that.

Wow. Funny how we tend to challenge everything at the same time isn't it? Interesting times.

Has anyone made a movie about you lately?

Wow. I can't believe it. I just saw the movie "In good company." I swear, they case studied me for the script.



"In Good Company" Movie Synopsis from about.com: Filmmaker and Academy Award®-nominated screenwriter Paul Weitz ("About a Boy") turns his complex sense of humor on "In Good Company," an insightful comedy about the relationship between a 50-year-old businessman and his new, 26-year-old boss.
Dan Foreman (played by Dennis Quaid) is headed for a shakeup. He is demoted from head of ad sales for a major magazine when the company he works for is acquired in a corporate takeover. His new boss, Carter Duryea (played by Topher Grace) is half his age--a business school prodigy who preaches corporate Synergy. While Dan develops clients through handshake deals and relationships, Carter cross-promotes the magazine with the cell phone division and "Krispity Krunch," an indeterminate snack food under the same corporate umbrella.

Both men are going through turmoil at home. Dan has two daughters--Alex, age 18, and Jana, age 16--and is shocked when his wife tells him she's pregnant with a new child. Between college tuition, the mortgage and a new baby, Dan can't afford to lose his job in the wave of corporate layoffs. Carter, in the meanwhile, is dumped by his wife of seven months just as he gets his promotion. Dan and Carter's uneasy friendship is thrown into jeopardy when Tom falls for, and begins an affair with, Dan's daughter Alex (Scarlett Johansson).
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See high-resolution Quicktime trailer here (3,2MB).

The long high-resolution Quicktime trailer (gives a great overview of the movie) here (22MB).

The long low-resolution Quicktime trailer here (5,3MB).

The movie is about a young kid who gets put in charge of a sales department of a company's flagship publication. Why is it about me? Well he is in charge of people twice his age, notably the now demoted sales manager played by Dennis Quaid. I have always been the young kid.

Apparently the movie is directed by the same guy that did "About a boy." What a fantastic effort. Watching, it was like being hit between the eyes every few minutes with a truism.

SPOILER WARNING - I'm going to mention some stuff from the movie now, so choose whether to read on if you are going to see the movie.

Kid is in the lift with Scarlett Johansson (Dennis Quaid's character's daughter) going up to the office for his first day of work. They chit-chat and she asks if he's an new intern. "No," he says, "I'm starting a new job. I have no idea what I'm doing - don't tell anyone." Wow have I had that moment as I've gone in on a highly paid assignment and not had a clue as to where I'm going to start. And all the old guys look at me (I'm now 31 - I started consulting when I was 22) and think, "I've been doing this for 20 years, how is this punk going to do it better?"

Kid has gatecrashed his way to dinner at Quaid's character's house and is chatting to the daughter. He says, "Sometimes I feel, 'What if my life has peaked at 26?'" Oh wow. Given my current circumstance, don't I wonder that everyday.

Quaid's character goes in to a sales meeting with kid. Kid has black eye where Quaid smacked him after finding out kid had been seeing his daughter. Customer (old guy) asks, "What happened to your eye?" Quaid tells customer, "I taught him a lesson." Later on after sale is made, kid says, "You were fantastic in there. How did you do that?" Quaid's character replies, "He hates his young son-in-law [son-in-law works for guy who made purchase - has used up whole budget on Internet, etc]. He needed to feel like he was sticking it to his son-in-law. And that sale will be good for his company too." Oh grief, if that is not the sum total of the lessons of my sales experience. As a snotty nosed kid, I've gone in there with the answer so many times, all the reasons why we could do the job. All the reasons they needed us. All the reasons it was worth the millions. Because I couldn't connect with the older / blacker / femaler / whateverer buyer as a kid. Couldn't talk about our kids, whatever. Lesson: sales is about satisfying a desire. It might have very little to do with the purchase. If you can do that and you are confident that the sale will be good for the buyer, go for it. Find the way to connect with the desire.

BIG SPOILER: definitely don't read next bit if you're going to see the movie.

Kid has moved on and Dennis Quaid is back in his job. Quaid tries to hire him and kid turns down offer, saying he needs to take some time to figure out what he is going to do with his life. Wierd how I had it all planned out at 21. At 31, a whole lot has happened, I'm fairly well off, very good at what I do. But somehow the plan disappeared and at my ripe old age, it's time for a reality check.



Oh, and did I mention the movie has Scarlett Johansson - what a babe

Why didn't you call?

I waited for your call today.
After you cancelled Friday -
And promised Tuesday.
Friends you said some time ago.

I took the dog to the beach
And she ignored everyone and other dogs.
She spent the whole time at my side
(yeah I've got loyalty already).

This girl there reminded me of you -
She was supermodel beautiful
Dressed in the jeans and sweater
She probably wears everyday.

She walked up and down -
Passed me three times
Looking cried out, drugged out
Like you - but mirroring me.

She'd get hit on going to the supermarket
Like you
And she'd tell the guy to get lost
Like you.

She talked into her cell phone
To someone as I left.
She smiled.
You didn't call.



Cream - Philip Barlow