It is the question that drives us mad

Does your dreaming have a deeper meaning?

2011-03-23T06:59:00.004+02:00

I'm struggling to get rid of a sinusitis left over from a cold. I have horrific sinuses that generally behave badly.

So last night I dreamt I was consulting House, the TV doctor.

In the dream, a friend was moving away (overseas or something) and I was sick. House (through incredible powers of deduction and detection that I actually had a friend that was moving away) prescribed some happy pills saying my illness was caused by the stress, loneliness and unhappiness of my friend moving away.

Wow. That seems a little close to the bone.

How stupid does the ANC think we are?

2010-08-15T22:40:00.003+02:00

The debate about the ANC's media bill continues.

The latest is Jacob Zuma's letter admonishing anybody for arguing against it.

The Daily Maverick has a good analysis of the key parts.

The ANC argues that nobody should worry about them using the media laws for censorhsip or other evil. They are the ANC and elected due to their strong moral compass.

The one simple arrow that shoots straight to the heart of the ANC's argument is this: the test of a good law is whether the lawmaker would be comfortable with the law in another party's hands. Would the ANC be happy if the proposed media laws were used by the DA, or even the old NP?

When will the new south african political activism start?

2010-08-06T21:12:00.001+02:00

This past week has surely been my most frightening in the new south african context.

The arrest and detention of Mzilikazi wa Afrika (http://www.thedailymaverick.co.za/article/2010-08-06-mzilikazi-wa-afrika-and-the-shape-of-things-to-come) and the furore about the anc's attempts to clamp down on press freedom mark the most worrying event since chris hani's assassination.

I previously blogged about the arrest of a jogger for showing the finger at president zuma's cavalcade. Stringing these events together appears to show a governing party increasingly favouring the authoritarian style of zanu pf and other parties to our north.

Given the shocking levels of corruption and crime in south africa, when will people begin to rise up and say enough is enough? When will the songs be written and the concerts be organised? When will people march demanding change?

Surely it is getting to that stage.
Sent via my BlackBerry

Do you hate Jeremy Maggs?

2010-04-07T20:27:00.002+02:00

My gosh. I seldom watch the TV news in South Africa due to work times. I read copious amounts of press online though.

I caught eTV Newsnight on the eTV news channel on DSTV tonight though.

Cue Jeremy Maggs interviewing Sean Smith - deputy head of law enforcement in Cape Town. The story was about moving homeless people off the streets ahead of the world cup.

Clearly Maggs has been impressed by his colleague Deborah Patta's style of beligerent, rude interviewing. Not that he started in the polite school.

My gosh, kudos to Smith. He held his temper, while looking puzzled at Maggs' style.

eTV - get rid of Maggs. He's useless.

Do they show South African city workers Discovery?

2010-03-22T22:54:00.005+02:00

Just watched Discovery HD's "NYC Inside Out."

Wow. NYC's intesnity is something else. Workers there work like there is no tomorrow.

I've once watched workers retarring a New York street. Now NYC streets are often pretty awful - covered in steel plating and cones over sewers. But watching the workers retarring a street is poetry in high gear. They move in en masse. Any parked cars that are not moved are lifted and put on the sidewalk - nothing stops the machine.

New Yorkers also talk the game constantly. The workers shout aggressively as though there is no one more important.

Watching this episode on Discovery, shows just that kind of experience. Water workers excavating at night to join buildings to the grid so as not to knock out the water supply. Layered concrete below the tarmac to protect the piping. And all done at frentic pace and high audio volume. You can quite imagine the shift boss getting an ulcer from the stress.

If only our workers could see this. Man. They've been working on the water in my suburb for 3 months! And Joburg's road quality problems are now the stuff of legend.

Am I doomed to repeat this?

2010-03-02T21:12:00.002+02:00

I'm struggling right now.

I mentioned I'm in love again. And here.

After not seeing R for a long time while I was away and then he was busy with work, I saw quite a bit of him last week. I loved every moment. Braaing, out drinking and playing golf. Loved just chatting and shooting the breeze. Loved being close to him.

He seems at ease with me and we're just like a couple of boys together.

And it's that old thing of being grateful for each moment, but knowing that it will go no further. Seemingly pleasure and agony in equal measure.

Over the past year I've looked for people who are accessible - on Datingbuzz and Mamba. The guys I'm interested in are not interested in me. I'm not sure why. But it seems that the people I'm destined to love - and those I might - are unreachable.

I'm meeting with someone off Mamba for coffee tomorrow. He's not long term potential - I'm 36 and he is 23. But it might be fun, and I could do with some of that.

But even with that I'm just cut up about R.

It's illegal to zap / swear at the president?

2010-02-16T21:02:00.005+02:00

I cannot believe this story!

It sounds like something out of the days of apartheid, with policemen bundling someone into a car with a bag over their head and NIA agents raiding their house.

I am so angry! To me, this is the equivalent of flag burning - or even more acceptable - in the realms of freedom of speech.

After recently watching Invictus and marvelling at Mandela's approach to his security in the spirit of reconciliation, this contrast reminds me of the madness of Mugabe.

Frankly, much of Zuma's conduct with respect to corruption, rewarding those who helped quash charges against him, and his sleeping around reminds me of Mugabe.

Man swore at president, says ministry

From Iol

February 16 2010 at 06:20PM

The 25-year-old student arrested for "waving" at President Jacob Zuma's convoy last week swore at the president and resisted arrest, a spokesman has said.

Police Ministry spokesman Zweli Mnisi said Chumani Maxwele had pointed his middle finger at the president. He said this gesture was synonymous with swearing and showing disrespect.

"No person is permitted to use foul language, swear at another individual, especially as such conduct may lead to promoting hate conduct in the Republic," said Mnisi.

The Sowetan reported on Tuesday that Maxwele had been arrested for "waving on" Zuma's convoy while jogging in De Waal Drive, Cape Town.

A black BMW pulled up and three men jumped out, allegedly pointing guns at him. He was then pushed into a car. A bag was pulled over his head and he was then allegedly taken to Zuma's residence before being taken to the Mowbray police station.

Maxwele, an active ANC member, was held for just under 24 hours. He was allegedly interrogated by intelligence agents who asked for, among other things, the names of his friends and the name of the chairmen of his ANC branch.

He said his house had been raided by plainclothes policemen while he was in custody. He was released before appearing in court.

Mnisi said Maxwele had become aggressive on the day of the incident when the police stopped to question him about his actions.

"He became aggressive and began to swear at them. They then arrested him, charged him with crimen injuria and resisting arrest," said Mnisi.

"He was detained and later transferred to Mowbray Police Station, which has jurisdiction over the area of offence."

Mnisi called Maxwele's conduct towards the police "unacceptable".

"It will not be tolerated," he said.

Mnisi declined to comment about allegations that agents of the National Intelligence Agency had raided Maxwele's house or interrogated him.

"We further need to clarify that the matter was handled solely by the police, as it forms part of our mandate of protecting all VIPs," said Mnisi.

He did not answer a question about whether Zuma himself had pressed charges against Mxwele.

Zizi Kodwa, the president's spokesman, declined to comment, claiming it was a "security issue". - Sapa

UPDATE: Is this the fall of the US?

2009-10-07T09:40:00.003+02:00

Wow!

New in today is that the gulf states are reconsidering the pricing of oil in US Dollars. They're considering a basket of currencies and commodities.

This is exactly what I suggested might be the outcome in my previous post. Do the sheiks read this blog....?

http://itisthequestion.blogspot.com/2009/03/fall-of-us.html

The US Dollar could only defy gravity for so long. The crime as been the US government and Fed presiding over deficits for this length of time.

It is equivalent to a household borrowing money to pay for living expenses (including lots of luxuries) and then each month getting more debt to pay for further expenses - and to pay off the previous month's debt. Eventually, banks are going to say, "Hey, we'd don't believe you'll be able to pay us back."

Now imagine the household is buying on credit at stores and borrowing money from banks to pay off the accounts. Imagine the sore keeper starts to get worried about your ability to borrow to pay your account, and stops giving you further credit.

That is exactly the situation the US faces.

Are traditions sacred? Who will stop the dolphin and whale culls?

2009-09-15T08:23:00.002+02:00

I read this story this morning about the annual dolphin and whale cull in Taiji, Japan.

I felt sick to my stomach.

It reminds me of the debate about ritual slaughters of goats and cattle in South Africa, where Xhosa people viewed the criticism of backyard slaughters as racist.

"Dolphin-killing may be bad for our international image, but we can't just issue an order for it to stop."

"I think we are the victims of a form of racism," said one, as we watched the pilot whales being herded out of sight to be killed. "Westerners slaughter cattle and other animals in the most inhumane ways imaginable, but no one says a word. Why is it that only Japan gets this kind of treatment?"

Sounds very familiar.

The point is that slaughter of any form is regrettable. That animals have to die that we may eat. However, if animals are brought up and slaughtered in a humane way, this at least draws from a sustainable resource in a way that minimizes stress and suffering.

The slaughter of whales and dolphins satisfies a blood lust preserved in the name of tradition, attacks threatened species, and causes massive suffering to the most intelligent animals.

What technologies make mobile life easier?

2009-09-13T19:53:00.005+02:00

The rush and movement of my holiday necessitated getting my communication optimised. I arrived in the UK and loaded a Vodafone pre-paid SIM bought on a previous trip. It did not work. Vodafone expires their pre-paid SIMs after 3 months of inactivity. So I made use of roaming on my South African Vodacom account for the first two days of my holiday in the UK. I stayed in a reasonable hotel in Bayswater with Wi-Fi and began my technology upgrade.

I downloaded Google Maps Mobile over the hotel Wi-Fi to my laptop and transferred it to my phone. What a brilliant application. It works off cell phone mast triangulation (accuracy varies depends on the masts in the area) or it can use your phone's GPS.

I have an HTC Touch Diamond which I bought some time back due to its full suite of technologies (wi-fi, GPS, FM radio, Bluetooth 2.0, 3.2 megapixel camera, HSDPA, 3G, EDGE, GPRS) and its size. It has an iPhone-like touch interface, but following the iPhone shortly after its launch, it had a fuller complement of technologies and was about half the size. It integrates well with email, supporting multiple IMAP and POP3 accounts. It's been a great phone with only one shortcoming - the feature set overwhelms its battery which often hardly lasts a day. The GPS has to be used in a car connected to power, or it drains the battery in about 20 minutes.

I also downloaded Skype for Mobile to make calls back to SA at a cheaper rate while away.

I thought I had the North American maps for Co-Pilot, my Navteq-based GPS software. When I reached the US, I found I did not. I paid for the US and South African maps and then assumed I had access. But I then discovered they needed to be downloaded. As an HTC user, the maps are difficult to get hold of as CoPilot is bundled with the phone. They must be purchased and you then have to email support to get the link to download. Other users purchase the Co-Pilot software and then use its desktop console to download the maps. The North American maps were 1GB. By the time I reached Los Vegas and was about to hire a car, I discovered I did not have the maps. In discovering this I used 12mb of data on roaming while sitting at the side of the road - this alone cost me R1400. I eventually made it to my destination in Los Angeles using Google Maps. This is really not ideal as you have to read off the screen - difficult while driving and navigating the myriad of freeways in LA. CoPilot GPS has voice prompting.

After making contact with Co-Pilot European support from my hotel, I downloaded 250Mb before I had to check out. I downloaded the remainder when I reached my cousins. I was now in position to use the GPS maps and verbal direction on my drive up the west coast.

I had forgotten my iPod in South Africa and bought the new Nano in New York to listen to Depeche Mode and U2 prior to their concerts. At $199 for the 16Gb Nano, it was an expensive mistake. Now I have two...

I went to the New York store RCS Experience to buy a long-life battery for my Lenovo T60 notebook. My previous battery had reached the end of its useful life, and I have always wanted something for long plane journey's etc. It was a crazily expensive purchase in South Africa, and slightly cheaper in New York ($166).

While there I found a point-and-shoot camera, to complement my Canon EOS D20. It is the truly amazing Canon Digital IXUS 960IS - it takes 12 Megapixel photos and shoots HD video. It was quite an expensive purchase (about $300) with another $65 for an 8Gb extreme speed SD card.

A productivity aid I've longed for is a bluetooth keyboard for my phone. I bought a Freedom universal fold-up keyboard. It is amazing. It provides an almost full size keyboard and with office mobile on my phone, this allows me to work comfortably in a coffee shop on my phone. That cost about $80 and was one of my best purchases.

The truly impulse purchase was a set of binoculars. I've never had a pair, and end up using the telephoto lens on my camera in the bush. I found a cheapish pair of Bushnell binocs with an SD slot that allows you to take a 3.2 Megapixel photo of whatever you're viewing through the lens. They cost $240 - a long way short of the $3000-odd dollar starting price for Leica and other pedigrees.

I put the camera to good use and took some nice pictures and videos at the Depeche Mode and U2 Concerts, and while playing golf. I don't really do typical tourist pictures - you can always download really good ones off the net. I resolved during this trip that that was a poor excuse. In future I will look to take a good photo and help preserve a memory.

I began this resolution in LA at Universal pictures - where I was dismayed my Canon EOS D20 stopped working. It gave a Compact Flash error, yet the CF disk worked on a flash reader. That was really irritating, especially after hauling the camera half way round the world. When I got back I reformatted the disk and it's now working again.

I attempted to get a US pre-paid contract while in the US to reduce my burgeoning cell phone bill. I found that the US pre-paid contracts have no data portion. How irritating. That cost me a lot of money as I continued to access Google maps, etc while roaming.

Once back in the UK, I switched to a new Vodafone pre-paid account. I had a nightmare setting the account up, which I will detail in a comprehensive bitch about Vodafone service in another post. But once on that I was able to sustain a week's comprehensive data access and calls for less than £15.

Could I live in New York?

2009-09-06T21:21:00.004+02:00

I wrote this on the road a few weeks back...

New York is one of my favourite places. I have regrets that I have not lived here over the course of my life thus far.

There is an energy about this place that seems to come from the city itself - like a giant beast with its own life source. The noise is unique: trucks and subways make walls vibrate, the hum of cafes and shops, the rattle and clatter of continuous construction.

I'm lucky to be visiting for the eighth time. I really don't want to leave to go to the West Coast - my first visit there. I've slotted right back into New York - the morning walk for coffee and breakfast, the nighttime entertainment, the museums, the bustle of business.

I've tech-enabled my latest visit to suit the on-the-go life. I'm typing into Microsoft Word on my HTC Touch Diamond using the coolest bluetooth fold-up keyboard, I bought a Canon point and shoot, and the new iPod Nano. I'm geared for a coffee shop note, a sidewalk moment, a subway travel.

I'm off to business meeting with a trading company shortly. Finance is the lifeblood of this city and like 9/11, it seems to have shrugged the credit crisis aside. London felt far more hard-hit as I moved through this past weekend. But the American spirit seems to have acknowledged the challenge and moved on.

The heat here is something else. It's in the high eighties (about 30C) today with typical New York humidity. What an extreme climate. I've been here for -26C in winter and 40C in summer (with over 80% humidity).

Could I live here? Funny. I love this place, the energy, the challenge. It is true - "if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere." But there is something about identifying with the people around you. I identify easily with the British - the South African connection is real. America is a far more insulated world. Sport is different, the rest of the world, continents away. Maybe I need a New York client, enabling me to spend regular time here.

What's the best South African music video ever?

2009-09-02T20:12:00.002+02:00

I saw this one by Dear Reader (formerly Harris Tweed) on MK the other night. Wow. What an achingly beautiful song and absolutely brilliant video. The video ranks up there with some of the best music videos I've seen from anywhere.

Which is the best lotto site for overseas purchases?

2009-08-27T10:52:00.003+02:00

The US Megamillions jackpot stands at $325 million this Friday.

Given that I will win this, I decided to read some small print.

I normally buy through the PlayUKInternet.com network. I understand this is run by some South African ex-pats living in London and has done very well.

However, there are a number of issues to consider:

Is the lottery site legit and if you won would the site pay you or disappear with your winnings?

The PlayUKInternet site has an established reputation and seems high-profile and reliable

What premium does the site charge over the actual ticket costs?

A Megamillions ticket costs $1 if bought at a retailer in the US.

PlayUKInternet and other agency sites charge a premium for their services. Overseas residents cannot buy from in-country retailers, so agencies have people who stand in queues, process winnings, etc. This premium varies.

PlayUKInternet charges £2,40 per ticket for a US Megamillions draw. They do give one voucher for every five tickets bought, effectively dropping the price to £2. That's $3,24, a premium of 224%.

OSA charge a whopping €3,60 per ticket. That's $5,13, a premium of 413%!

Betslips.com charge $2 per ticket, a premium of 100%

Does the agency have any discretion over my winnings payout?

PlayUKInternet take 10% of winnings awarded through them. TEN PERCENT!!!! They also have the discretion as to whether to take the winnings as an annuity or lump sum. This is only evident through reading the fine print in their terms and conditions

Betslips.com takes 1% of winnings. This is also only apparent by reading their FAQ.

Clearly the fine print here is important. Imagine winning the $325 million and being forced to take the lump sum payout of $204 million. I'm not sure how the percentage paid to the agency is determined (this is not clear from their terms and conditions). I would imagine it is based on the net payout. That would be $204 million less US withholding tax of 30% equals $140 million. 10% to PlayUKInternet would then be $14 million. But if calculated on a gross basis, it could be $20 million or $32,5 million. You would have to pay local taxes - let's say 6% if you were a resident of New York - although as an overseas resident it might well be higher. That moves your take home winnings towards $100 million.

Of course $100 million is a huge amount of money, but why would you want to pay the agency anything more than their cost of administration? Why do they deserve any percentage of your winnings?

For this reason, I bought through Overseas Subscribers Agents - osalottos.com, despite their astronomical cost per ticket. That way, when I collect my winnings, I'll not be paying them any more.

Sheeesh. Read the fine print....

How do you treat Koi ulcers?

2009-08-24T22:55:00.003+02:00

I prepared the following for a friend recently. The dealer and suburb names relate to Johannesburg South Africa.

This is the list of things I have stocked up on / treatments / methodology:

Oil of Cloves - anaesthetic

Guide and dosage

it has a long shelf life

Make sure you get dosage right – based on the bucket you use

Very clean (new) plastic container for dips / anaesthetic

I have about three of those massive (100l) ones from Pick ‘n Pay

If you use an old one, make sure it has no chance of soap or other residues

You can actually keep a moderately sized fish (30cm or less) in a 100l one with an air stone and water changes through a treatment period of a week or more (must have daily 10% water changes though)

This also substantially reduces the cost of medication (actually quite expensive) as you only dose according to the size of the container

It allows you to accurately size the container and the doses

It also allows you to nuke the pond with Pottassium Permanganate while the fish is in the container for a week

Salt

Guide and dosage

Anti-parasite

Tonic – reduces the load on a sick fish’s organs

Have about 3 bags on standby.

Have an empty bag so you can put a partial bag in the pond with a tied top until the salt dissolves, then you just pull the bag out

Available from pool shops (such as Pool ‘n Pond in Rosebank, also Sandton Aquatics in Fourways)

A salt meter

Good but quite expensive – my digital one cost about R800

I got mine from Happy Koi – I have not seen them too often

A sock net

One of the best things I ever bought

Bought from Happy Koi

Very soft – will not damage the fish

Is basically a tube – you hold the handle and then end of the tube. To release the fish, merely release the end of the tube

A large koi net – about 80cm across

To guide the fish into the sock net

Available from almost any Koi shop

Acriflavine – the wonder drug

Guide and dosage

Mostly bottled by Loolilocks on the East Rand (even other dealers sell Loolilocks Acriflavine)

Safe antifungal, anti-parasite and antibiotic

Very good for ulcers

Quite expensive

Difficult to get rid of the colour – only goes after partial water changes

Methylene Blue – the safe backup

Anti-bacterial, anti-fungal

Promotes oxygen in the water

Easy to get – chemists or good koi shops

Don’t get ripped off – very much cheaper in chemists

Difficult to get rid of the colour – only goes after partial water changes

Potassium permanganate - the nuclear option

Guide and dosage

Part 2 – detailed guide

The most effective antibiotic / anti viral / anti-parasite

Easy to get – chemists or good koi shops

Don’t get ripped off – very much cheaper in chemists

Difficult to get dosage precisely right

Overdosing burns gill tissue and therefore the damage is either fatal or permanent

Dosage can be reversed by addition of Hydrogen Peroxide

Sunlight neutralises it over time

Hydrogen Peroxide

Powerful reagent

Turns purple pond crystal clear

Crucial to have to reverse over dosage of potassium permanganate

Easy to get – chemists or good koi shops

Don’t get ripped off – very much cheaper in chemists

Anti-biotic injection

A guide for injection of Baytril – one of the most common antibiotics for koi

More on injecting

Illegal outside vet’s hands

Crucial for severe ulcers

Gets easier to administer when you know how to anaesthetise the fish and where to inject

Easiest spot is into the spot immediately behind the dorsal fin

Second choice is under a scale and into the tail muscle

Avoid belly and organs at all costs

Limited shelf life

Difficult to get

Mercurochrome – surface disinfectant

Easy to get

Difficult to administer – slides off the fish and onto you!

Plastic spray bottle for mercurochrome

Wound gel

Powder for putting onto wound.

Forms gel to keep water off wound

Difficult to get (happy koi, Joshua Koi)

Not foolproof – lasts just over a day in my experience

There are other medications I have not used due to toxicity and the things they specifically target (usually parasites) – notably formalin and Malachite Green.

Tricide Neo is the wonder drug for ulcers in the USA. I’ve tried to get local dealers to import it. See here.

Almost all medications are a form of chemotherapy – you’re only killing the fish slight less than the bugs. So the crucial thing is how far to take it.

Methodology:

Turn off UV lamps – they kill the medication

People say bypass the bio filter – I think this leaves a source of good and bad bacteria. So I leave it active and then reseed the biofilter with good bacteria afterward. This means at least 4 weeks of suboptimal water quality while good bacteria re-establish

Treat the water with first dose of medication, e.g. potassium permanganate

Prepare separate container for anaesthetic – water and correct dosage of clove oil. I have a syringe of oil on standby to add if the fish is taking too long to knock out

Create small highly concentrated solution of potassium permanganate and water

Catch the fish, being very careful of pectoral fins (they dislocate, tear or break very easily)

Put into anaesthetic until the fish floats to the surface belly up

Remove and put onto moist towel on grass – fish’s mouth should still be moving but body should be immobile

Dip end of cotton bud in high concentrate PP solution and apply to rotting / dead skin on edge of ulcer

Be careful – will burn away anything it touches including good flesh and skin

Fish may even grunt / cry from pain during this – quite frightening

Wash off with pond water

Blot wound with toilet paper. Would must be dry for mercurochrome to adhere

Spray wound close up with mercurochrome

Blow or use hair dryer to dry wound and mercurochrome

Sprinkle just enough wound gel over wound to absorb remaining moisture

Spray area with pond water to turn remaining powder to gel

Blow /use hair dryer to dry gel

Inject correct dosage of antibiotic for size of fish

Area behind dorsal fin is easiest and least risk of damage to scales – however, avoid bones

Area into flesh in tail is good but needle must go under a scale and above the one underneath

Return fish to pond / treatment tank

Hold fish by head and tail and move backwards and forwards through water to get water through gills until the fish revives

Watch time the fish has without oxygen during anaesthetic

Requires repeat treatments of water, wound and injections (typically three to five water, three to five injections, sometimes every second day cleaning of wound – but only use the PP the first time

If all else fails – euthanasia.

The best site for far far more detail, including more on dosages (very very important). Watch out for American gallons! They’re busy reorganising so a few of the links don’t work:

http://www.koivet.com/koivet/

The forums – excellent to read other’s problems, pictures and advice:

http://www.koivetforum.com/

After having gone through the experience and listening to friends, I am now certain that some bitumen pond waterproofing actually slowly poisons or irritate koi. Water tests may be perfect, but due to the toxins, the fish stress and develop ulcers. When I fibre-glassed, my koi's health improved dramatically. I have had only one minor ulcer in the 3 years since.

Simpler and cheaper than fibre-glass is epoxy / rubberised coating over your existing pond. For example, although I have no experience with the following guys:

http://www.poolsolutions.co.za/

It would be crucial to ask a few questions about durability and toxicity.

Do you know Zebra & Giraffe?

2009-08-22T23:28:00.006+02:00

What an amazing band! I've been following them since seeing them perform live at this year's Coke Fest.

Zebra & Giraffe started out as the solo project of Greg Carlin. In May 2008, Carlin released Z&G debut album "Collected Memories" and then formed a live band with members Alan Shenton, Rob Davidson, Darren Leader & Andrew Maskell.

One of the band's fantastic songs - Arm Yourself:

More at these places:

Facebook page – with clips from each of their tracks you can play

On Myspace

Website – pretty top multimedia site

Buy the album, preview songs, etc here

Klicktrack

iTunes

Zebra & Giraffe on YouTube

Highly recommend getting the actual album here – CD and DVD

This biography was written in May 2008 and tells the amazing story of how Greg Carlin wrote an created the whole album - other than drums - Collected Memories:

Zebra & Giraffe is the name of a new force pressing itself into the hearts and minds of music fans – and even on first listen it's clear that Z&G's debut longplayer, 'Collected Memories', is every bit as unique as the animals that its named after.
In fact, at this stage (autumn 2008), the cleverly named act is actually the 12-lettered pseudonym of Johannesburg music wunderkind, Greg Carlin. Until he (very shortly) assembles a cracking hot live band to assist in showcasing his original songs, Carlin is Zebra & Giraffe and the 10-songs on 'Collected Memories' are an announcement of his own special take on making music to all who hear it.
That Carlin was able to make his debut album virtually unassisted (bar a session drummer) stems from his multiple music talents that see him playing everything from bass, to keyboards, guitar and more. But in crafting 'Collected Memories' he wisely called on the production talent of the sublimely talented Darryl Torr who many music fans in the country may know as the foil to Harris Tweed's Cherilyn MacNeil.
"It was just easier to play everything myself," Johannesburg-based Carlin says, "But Darryl made the difference when it came to shaping the songs into what you hear on the album."
You might be forgiven for thinking that moving from piano to guitar to drums to keyboards and bass may hamper the album's flow, giving it a sameness that renders it impossible to listen to. Not in the case of Zebra & Giraffe. Perhaps it's because of being able to adopt a different name that 'Collected Memories' is a journey of variety; a sonic outing that is, in fact, brilliantly listenable.
The album starts with a song that should not waste time in securing radio time – and indeed has already had a welcoming reception across the board.
'The Knife' takes its cue from the dark side of electronic rock pioneered by the likes of New Order & Joy Division. There are also strains of the latter's ability to turn punk-influenced stylings into atmospheric masterpieces on 'Collected Memories' – specifically the likes of 'Black Crow' with its fiercely played guitar and bass lines and lyrics of abandonment and last chance love.
Discerning these influences when listening to 'Collected Memories' is all the more astonishing because, until recently, Carlin had not heard many of the bands from the era that his music sits closest too. "The first thing I remember listening to is Nirvana and U2, back when I was in primary school, and then it was onto modern rock" he says.
There are strains of other bands that formed part of the soundtrack to someone born in the 80s on the album (The Edge's melodic guitar work can be heard in 'Arm Yourself') but mostly 'Collected Memories' is the sound of an artist pushing ahead with his own sonic exploration in the most beguiling way. As an example listen to "Running Faster" where the keyboard melody runs like the Pied Piper though the song, making sure that your attention never strays for a second from what is certainly another hit for Zebra & Giraffe.
Carlin admits that his own liking is for the harder edge of rock (A Perfect Circle, early Marilyn Manson, NIN, Tool are among his favourites) and although much of 'Collected Memories' is melodic, thrashing guitars do make themselves felt on 'Fight! Fight! Fight!'.
But just as you're certain that you've got the record's sonic ground pinned out comes 'Leaving Again', a tune that throws a rope around rock as much as pop and electronica (that at-the-fore keyboard), the result being one of the album's standouts, a near perfect combination of melodic heft and lyrical prowess. It's the same with 'A Long Way Down', a track defined by an unsettling drum beat and delicate acoustic guitar work that is just about as compelling a song as you'll hear all year. Carlin's tale about losing someone is elegantly supported by the backing vocal of Harris Tweed's MacNeil.
But don't mistake the darkness for a proclivity on Carlin's part for living in emotion's murkier corners. The fact is that Zebra & Giraffe is not against having some fun: "Pariahs' is driven by a swirling keyboard that perfectly supports the song's dreamlike, at times tongue-in-cheek lyrics ("I like the pretty girls/the ones with curls/they make me crazy/they say baby oh you rock my world") and there are other uplifting moments.
Carlin admits that lyrics are one of the aspects of songwriting that he's sometimes less at ease with. "A lot of the songs are about relationships and the rest are about feelings that I get and then I put that into words. It may come out as a specific event or experience but its inspiration comes from a feeling." He readily admits that the album's titled stems from a recent move from the comfort of his childhood home – a place where his own collected memories reside.
It was here that Carlin originally learnt to play drums while at High School, playing rock with a band that went by the name of (yes, it's true) MSG. Carlin studied Fine Art at Tuks and joined his first real band – first as a bassist and then as a singer. White Lie was its name and the band went so far as recording a handful of tracks with Darryl Torr – establishing a relationship between Carlin and the producer that has been lasting and creative. White Lie earned a campus hit with the song "Runaway" and had something of a following but at the end of 2005 several members left to study and Carlin was left to his own devices.
It's just as well because Carlin soon began experimenting in his home studio – exploring sounds and beats, many of which have influenced the sound of 'Collected Memories'.
In a stroke of luck for Carlin, he met Just Music's Karl Anderson through Harris Tweed (a Just Music signing) and struck up a relationship with the label through working on its digital business. Now Zebra & Giraffe have a label deal with the highly regarded independent and Carlin is ready to begin his assault on the charts, live circuit and more.
Diane Coetzer - May 2008

How do you find a missing Rolex?

2009-08-17T23:43:00.004+02:00

I've just taken off after my epic holiday to the UK and US. I feel euphoric about the trip, seeing Depeche Mode twice, U2, playing golf at two of the world's top golf courses. Yet I am miserable about losing a watch given to me after my uncle died. It was a tragic death. He committed suicide, and my aunt gave it to me about 15 years ago to remember all the good times from his life. It was a 1978 classic Rolex Oyster Perpetual GMT Master. There are two aspects: the sheer financial value - the exact watch just got auctioned on Christies for $7000, and the sentimental value. The Aunt who gave it to me is currently dying from cancer - the watch is a link to my memory of her and my uncle.

I am bitter about the way the watch was lost. I was playing golf at one of the world's most exclusive golf courses. I put the watch in a pocket on the side of the hire clubs bag with my camera. After the game I removed everything from the bag, but clearly forgot the watch. Later that afternoon, as my cousins prepared to take me to the station, I realized I did not have my watch with me. I frantically searched, but knew I had left it in the bag. We raced back to the club, but the watch was not there. My cousins clearly believed / hoped I had lost it in my suitcases somewhere. I hoped so too, but knew deep down I had left it in the golf bag. I hoped that an employee who had perhaps left earlier had found it and put it away somewhere.

Later that evening, I spoke to my cousin who was clearly stressed. He went back the next day and searched through all the pockets of all the hire clubs. He left the details of the watch club and hoped it would be handed in. I felt bad that my carelessness had resulted in the stress for my cousin's family.

The watch went missing on Friday. It's now Sunday night and there is no sign of the watch. Things are likely to get more complicated from here. Perhaps, although I think it unlikely, the watch may be covered by travel insurance arising from booking the trip on my credit card. If so, I am sure they will insist I report the missing watch to the UK police. This will I am sure cause embarrassment to my cousin - a member at the exclusive golf club. I would think the police would want to speak to the golf shop employees. Further complicating this, I am sure the UK police would not be happy about me leaving the country before reporting the loss.

A good thing is that Rolexes can only be serviced by authorized dealers. I have had the watch serviced and will be able to get its serial number from the jeweler.

The other part of me is so furious at the likely theft. I want to unleash the fury of hell on the culprit.

Let's hope for a miracle - that the watch gets handed in tomorrow. Otherwise, this is putting a serious damper on what was an amazing holiday.

How do you handle a fundamentalist in the family?

2009-08-16T18:57:00.005+02:00

I've just made my first visit to the US west coast. My cousins live just outside LA and it has been ten years since I saw them last.

It was really good to see them, but I left heart sore. R is actually my mom's cousin and a strictly practicing Seventh Day Adventist. Basically that means they follow the bible really strictly including the laws applying to Judaism. They are also vegetarians (an even more strict requirement of Adventism).

R married D, one of the nicest woman you'd ever meet. She has the kindest nature imaginable, and has passed this on to her three beautiful boys.

Heart sore

I was heart sore for a few reasons. R emigrated from South Africa in a hurry. He'd had the most horrific run-ins with crime, culminating in shooting dead an intruder in his bedroom and then having the rest of the gang come back for him and shoot at him a few weeks later. As much as I am optimistic about South Africa's future, I advised him to leave for his own sanity.
But R has just got some weird ideas. He had them before his run instead with crime. He believes in the existence of the New World Order, a powerful controlling group of wealthy who control the world. He is bigoted, including being racist and anti-gay. He is fundamentalist and totally against abortion. And then he has strange views on medicine.

With all of this, the boys have been home schooled and brought up in a manner reminiscent of the Quakers. Although they have technology, they do not have TV and R has some strange views on the media. His kids, M (21) L (17) and J (7) are quiet and less forthright in their views and it is difficult to understand how much of their father's views they share. They have contact with other kids through church and neighbors, and I hope this gives them the perspective they so desperately need.

To make the nightmare worse, the family are still in the immigration process after ten years in the US. The lack of green cards mean they are unable to get drivers licenses, study or do many other things we take for granted. R drives anyway, but the boys lack even this escape.

I sense the boys’ views may be more liberal than their father's, but I have limited means of telling. They're the sweetest kids though and I wish I could offer them a way to see the world and gain perspective.

Fundamentalism

It is easy to disapprove of R and his views. His brand of Christian fundamentalism that includes believing we are in the final days of the world is easy to rebel against and even hate. But if you met him, you’d find him to be the nicest guy. And the way his kids have turned out speak volumes for the upbringing he and his wife have provided. His life has been complicated by violence no one should endure.

It is obvious R has suspicions I might be gay. 35, eligible and single is almost a diagnosis these days. He joked about me headed towards San Francisco. And while he likes Palm Springs, he is unhappy it is full of gays flaunting their lifestyle... (I saw from the corner of my eye that he glanced at me as he said this and as I drove through the town). To his credit, he did say it was up to them but he didn’t like the way they foisted their lifestyle on other people. His kids also played me a song by D’s step-brother. Ray remarked that he had been on “Elton John’s ticket but had a conversion experience.”

I’m one who believes you state your views but you don’t have to attack the other person’s. This applies more so when the other person is family. In many senses, I believe the best way to state your views is to live them and thus make them known to others around you. R is well aware of my “liberal” views on politics. He has asked my thoughts, particularly with respect to South Africa. I have told him about my world where I am friends with (black) politicians’ family members, that I think it a person’s choice whether they wish to tattoo and pierce their bodies, that despite my concerns about Zuma, his choices have been largely positive thus far in his short presidency. We joke with one another. But one day I will have time alone with him and challenge his views. Of course, if I end up with another guy there will be the coming out discussion too.

I am not religious. I was brought up in a practicing Christian family, and now describe myself as spiritual. The God I grew up with is different to R’s. Jesus went out of his way to be with the outcasts and socially undesirables. Not because they were less worthy or more special – because they were also God’s children. Jesus spared judgment, warning that it was dangerous to judge others with a log in your own eye, i.e. that it is impossible to judge fairly and without imposing our own perceptions and experience. I cannot understand how fundamentalists miss this: that bigotry and judgment is in itself a sin. I vividly remember being in New York on my first visit to the US. I woke up and turned on the hotel room TV to watch CNN news. Matt Shepard, a beautiful gay kid had been murdered in Laramie. As the story became clear, it emerged he had accepted a lift with two guys from a pub in the small town. They had taken him to a remote farm fence, tied him up and beaten him to a pulp. He had spent his dying hours naked, in pain and utterly alone in the freezing night air. I cried tears of horror and compassion as I listened to the emerging facts. I felt cold and estranged from the US. Later I would see the reaction as Matt’s killers went to trial. Christian fundamentalist protesters standing outside the court bearing signs saying, “God hates fags.” I watched the debates on Larry King Live, with fundamentalists spewing hatred and nonsense about the health and other dangers gay people posed to society. I later watched Matt’s story in “The Laramie Project,” a movie about Matt’s life and death. Not only had he been beaten to death for being gay, he'd previously been raped and beaten on a trip to Morocco because of his sexuality. As a closeted, confused bi guy, I could relate to Matt. I can imagine how black people must feel about the countless stories of racist abuse of their Matts. See Matthew's place - dedicated to Matt's memory.

Matt Shepard

I can understand how fundamentalists might oppose abortion. Frankly, I oppose abortion, although I can only imagine how torn I might feel in a situation where I faced my child being born into a hostile environment such as poverty, a hateful relationship, a disabling condition or worse.
I don’t for a minute think R would be holding up a sign outside a courthouse. He did tell me about how US hospital’s were aborting full-term babies and an incident involving the death of an investor’s children (divine retribution?) But one morning, he asked me how I felt about the political situation of the world. I responded that I worked really hard and was probably unqualified to offer an opinion on some of the things he had told me (including an apparent example of Obama’s racism). Perhaps it was a cop out. Sometimes I believe you need to step away to get someone to come towards you. R responded, “No, I think we just have different experiences.” I nodded and said sadly, “Exactly. I believe we are fundamentally products of our experiences.” We agreed on that.

We’re products of our experiences

I contrast our lives. I live a wonderful life. I work hard but enjoy what I do. I am phenomenally privileged – something I contemplate almost every day. I recently took my parents to one of the most exclusive game lodges in South Africa. Yesterday I played Pebble Beach – the number one public golf course in the USA and one of the top in the world. My father worked as hard as he knew how to provide for us. We could not afford a game of golf, let alone a trip to California to play Pebble Beach. Sure I work harder than almost anybody. But I was put in a position to go to university, think independently, make my own choices. I could more easily have been born into a shack in a township and though my father might have worked his heart out, never made it to university, never been impressed with the values to contemplate self improvement. As I have I have travelled through the richest neighbourhoods in the world over the past weeks, spent more money on holidaying in a short time than I have ever contemplated before, wondered at the scale of US infrastructure and wealth, I have thought that no matter the scale of this wealth, it represents no more than a few percent of the billions of people around the world who live hoping just to put food on the table. I am loved by my family and have a huge network of friends. I am truly blessed.

R grew up in a very strict, Seventh Day Adventist family. He was sent to a Seventh Day Adventist College. He did national service in the airforce during South Africa’s bush war. Shortly after leaving the airforce, his elder brother was killed in a car accident, leaving a widow and two young boys. He left South Africa scarred by his experience with crime, his family jittery wrecks. He left a brother behind with his aging parents. Shortly after arriving in Los Angeles, his passport, driver’s licence, et al were stolen out of his supermarket trolley. Without paperwork and fraud on his bank cards, his immigration process and credit record was seriously damaged. He is bitter about his experience and conflicted by his beliefs and God’s reasons for the difficulties he faces. His brother also left South Africa for Australia, leaving his parents behind. He is wracked with guilt for this. He believes he made the wrong choice about moving to the US – Australia would have been better - and that it is a country in moral danger. He believes we are in the final days.

In all of this, R’s children are the most vulnerable. Of course all children must survive their parent’s experiences, views and their upbringing. Equally, I am sure R worries about me and the lack of religion in my life.

I think the difference in my life is that my parents imbued me with a set of values and gave me choices. I was never forced to go to Sunday school or church. I was set free in a world where my parents worried about drugs, sex and rock and roll. But although they vociferously made their concerns (particularly regarding my varsity drinking), they let me make my own mistakes.

Impact on the boys

M, L and J are all home schooled. They do not have TV. They do not listen to modern music. They cannot take drivers’ tests due to their immigration status. They have grown up as their father’s friends. They can complete his stories. They all want to be doctors, but cannot study until their immigration status is sorted out. M is 21, and despite stellar SATs is unable to study. He is serious beyond his years and has begun work on a family business upon which their hopes rest. He seems haunted by memories of the first half of his life in South Africa.

When I remarked on L’s serving efforts, he remarked that his brothers called him “mommy” when his mom’s away. I’ve loved this kid since he was an angelic 4 year old. He is still angelic. He recently carved a boat from a Christmas tree and sent it to his grandparents in South Africa. It is a work of art with turning ship’s wheel, sails, the works. He made the county softball team before the county canned that due to the legal risk. He is considered and polite. He should be exploring the world and himself. He should be on the sports fields with friends.

J is a typical seven year old. He wants to be friends with the new neighbourhood kids who have a motorised go-kart. He was so happy to have family stay and remarked that instead of returning a borrowed item via mail, I should bring it back personally. He never knew his family’s past and suffers less from its memory.

I've been wracked with thoughts since leaving the kids. I wish I could offer them an escape, an alternative view of the world. Imagine if one of them turned out gay? It would be the end of the world.

I've encouraged M to study through UNISA. All the boys want to be doctors, and M has delayed studies for 3 years due to visa restrictions. He would be able to study via UNISA and correspondence though. It would also be an additional way out.

I worry that a 21 year old boy now has the weight of his family's expectations on him. He should be well advanced in his studies by now.

But mostly I worry about L. I've never met anyone quite like him. I arrived in Johannesburg when he was a little boy. He bonded with me instantly. As we drove from the airport in his father's car, he sat next to me and played gently with the hairs on my leg. He radiates love and kindness to this day. But as 17 year old he should be exploring life. Instead, he shares a room with his 7 year old brother and studies at home. And yet, he's grown up so early he's hardly had a childhood.

The family is a world away. Hopefully the boys will feel they can reach out across Facebook and continue to explore the world through Youtube and the Internet more broadly. Hopefully they have church friends more moderate in their views.

How do I get through this?

2009-07-12T14:48:00.005+02:00

I'm totally in love again. I've been I love with four people now. Three straight guys who are unavailable. And a girl who married someone else. The fatal attractions. The third straight guy who is unavailable is R, recently married. I love being around him, playing golf, etc. He's open minded - one of his best friends is gay - loves sport, etc. It's that love where you notice all the mannerisms, his hands, eyes, etc.

And while I grow closer to him and love him more and more, I know it will go nowhere. And it's killing me. I'm near depression again. I've now reached the desperation of trying the out and out gay pick up site Mamba's Meetmarket - the name says it all.

All the whys. Why can't he have been available to the anonymous email? Why another straight guy?

Damn. With apologies to Fight Club, this is my life and I'm dying one unrequited love at a time.

Is Pride redundant?

2009-06-10T20:31:00.003+02:00

As a sexually confused / bi guy, mostly in the closet, the Pride movement has always been a mystery to me.

I understand a reaction to discrimination and the need to fight it. The stupidity of firing gay soldiers, hate speech, etc needs to be fought.

But I do get the feeling that Pride is the wrong reaction. Should heterosexual people be proud of their sexuality? If the movement was called "Non-issue" it would make more sense.

I feel the same reaction to the Black Consciousness movement (except I've read a bit of Steve Biko and that seemed a very different take on the subject). The aggressiveness of the Black Panthers, etc seems wholly misplaced and similar to the rabid ranting of some of the pride community.

Why these thoughts? Well Adam Lambert came out in the latest edition of Rolling Stone.

That in itself is not a big deal. What was a big deal was that suspicions he was gay influenced voting in American Idol.

What got me thinking again though, was reading the comments below the article. Read and then tell me America is a first world paragon of virtue.

They range from the entertaining:

shelagh | 6/9/2009, 10:28 am EST

Holy crap- dead- flatlined-
snakes…zipper jeans….open shirt…lying down….can’ breathe.

Frustrated Cougar | 6/9/2009, 11:11 am EST

I’m forty-five years old. I have no ovaries because they removed them when I had breast cancer. As a result I haven’t felt a sexual thrill in many years - until Adam Lambert. The boy just does it for me. I’m a professional woman and the mother of two grown children. Yet, when I watched that girl flash him her ta tas at his hometown visit, I thought, “That would be me except I only have one.” Anywho, it’s fun to feel alive again. And, Adam, if you ever have a pair of granny panties thrown on stage at one of your concerts - it’ll be me.

To the sensible / liberal:

GREG T VA BEACH | 6/9/2009, 10:16 am EST

I am 44 year old male married to my wife for 23 years. I am open minded and the bottom line gay or not Adam Lambert is a special talent. He is original and can sing. George Michaels, Elton John both have talent. This guy has talent and skills and I hope his records out sell and his popularity is even more than Cary Underwood’s and Kelly Clarkson’s. Rock on Adam the world (not just the U.S) can’t wait for your album. One favor Adam don’t let any of this go to your head but prove to everyone you are a talented singer and performer.

To the Christians big enough to remember not to judge:

Savta Shayna | 6/9/2009, 10:52 am EST

Sorry he practices homosexuality because I consider it a sin. But aside from that, Adam is the best talent ever to come from American Idol and this 7-time grandmother was glued to my TV every week in anticipation of his performances. I’m sure he’ll rise to top of the heap!

To the hateful:

James M. | 6/9/2009, 10:22 am EST

I’m glad he lost.America does NOT need gay idol.

Heather | 6/9/2009, 11:01 am EST

I don’t get it. Adam made my ears bleed and Johnny Cash roll in his grave when he sang…or screeched that awful version of r”Ring of Fire.” It was awful…it made my ears hurt and he should have been jerked off of the stage and kicked out of the competition then. As for his sexuality…I don’t agree with it…but hey, if you want your butthole to be stretched out and you want to sh*t all over yourself in a couple years, by all means, have at it! I don’t see how it was ever a question though…I mean look at him!

There were more that are referenced in other comments, but have since been removed.

And then the bewildering gay pride comment:

Michael | 6/9/2009, 10:16 am EST

Ok, I read this article on my local CBS station’s website and needless to say, I’ve lost all respect for Adam. Why? Because he’s perpetuating the lie that all gay men must be pretty and gorgeous! Gee thanks Adam, you’re a real role model for the gay community. Try being considerably less concerned about your vanity and a little more concerned with your music and perhaps the gay rights issues that you could really help with considering your stature as the American Idol runner-up. Thanks for helping to push along the cause of gay rights issues……….NOT!

Of course it could be tongue in cheek, making the point that Adam is good looking. But there more that are definitely not.

As Adam Lambert said, "I want to be a singer,not a civil rights leader."

Will Zuma turn down a R1bn (USD125) donation to fight crime?

2009-06-01T11:48:00.000+02:00

Douw Steyn has offered R1bn to fight crime. Wow.

Apparently, Mbeki previously turned down the offer because "We don't have a problem with crime in this country. The problem is, we have a perception of crime."

Let's hope sense prevails.

Can the favourite win a reality TV event?

2009-05-31T10:54:00.004+02:00

So Susan Boyle came second in "Britain's Got Talent."

It seems like she's had a tough week (and here, and here).

Susan Boyle's performance in the final:

After becoming a world-wide sensation, she lost. It really makes me wonder if the favourite can win a public vote. David Archuleta, Adam Lambert and now Susan Boyle.

Is it a mixture of complacency on the part of those supporting the favourite and frantic support on the part of those supporting the underdog?

That said, the act that won Britain's Got Talent, Diversity, are very, very good.

Diversity's first performance:

Diversity's semi-final performance:

Embedding disabled - watch here

Diversity in the final:

What is the true cost of an employee?

2009-05-27T13:00:00.001+02:00

I was sitting with my PA today going through a list of outstanding to-do items.

I asked, "Why is my dry-cleaning taking so long?"

"What dry-cleaning?" she asked.

"The dry cleaning I left in the black refuse back next to your desk with the note," I said.

"IITQ, there was nothing here."

"You're kidding me. Did the maid throw anything out?" I asked.

"I'm not sure. I don't think so. I walked in with her and there was nothing next to my desk," she said.

"Fuck. Somebody has stolen the bag. Get A to check the access control to see who has been in the office," I said. "This is a disaster. I think there was an Armani suit in the bag with shirts and ties - that's about R30 000 worth of laundry."

Later that evening I got a call.

"IITQ, I've been retracing my steps and I think I may have thrown that bag out..."

My PA wanted my bank details. She wanted to go and organise a loan to pay me back. I said, "Wait, let me go home and see exactly what was in the bag. Besides, its a mistake. I'm not going to make you take a loan."

Inventory

4 imported shirts
2 imported silk ties
2 pairs pants for a suit - local, not Armani

Small mercies. Not an Armani suit, so about R14 000 damage rather than R30 000.

I wanted to cry. What a waste. I've been so careful with cash. I hate wasting money.

Some of it was my mistake. Perhaps I could of put the clothes outside the bag for her to see. But she was expecting the dry cleaning and a black bag placed next to her chair should have merited an investigation.

It made me think of the true cost of employees. Idle time, telephone, bandwidth, food, etc. And screw ups.

What to do about the fuck up. No, I'm not going to make her take a loan. Or dock her salary. I'll probably make her work in some extra time.

And it's all relative. My gran is really old and is sicker than she should be because of nursing and doctor tardiness. She's frail and a screw up could mean she dies. Big picture stuff.

What next for Susan Boyle?

2009-05-26T20:07:00.005+02:00

So Susan Boyle became a worldwide celebrity after her incredible first appearance on Britain's Got Talent.

She was back for the semi final and only a fool would bet against her winning this season. Simon Cowell must be salivating at the money he'll make off her...

It's another great performance. She's better when she really unleashes than she is in the softer moments (light and shade), but that's being picky.

It's really sweet she just wants to perform for the queen. She clearly has no idea of what awaits her as a worldwide celebrity.

Did America vote against Adam Lambert because of his sexuality?

2009-05-21T23:24:00.002+02:00

I've often described the American South and Midwest as very similar to the South African Afrikaner north - conservative and Calvinist.

Was that proved on American Idol last night? What a shocker result. This was the best top 10 ever - but headed by the most talented contestant ever. Adam Lambert has had people talking for the last few months.

And he lost to Kris Allen.

The press and Internet has been going wild with discussion about the conservative US vote. This Reuters blog discusses the issue.

There are rumours this could be the last American Idol. It's future revolves around Simon Cowell and after tipping David Archuleta last year and Adam Lambert this year, he's questioning his future commitment.

That will be sad. It was the best top 10 yet and the best finale. Black Eyed Peas, Lionel Ritchie, Cyndie Lauper, Rod Stewart, Kiss, Queen - amongst others! It was polished, well put together and well hosted. With a shock in the last minutes.

Does Eskom deserve our anger?

2009-05-18T13:00:00.001+02:00

It grates me that professional analysts can make statements / give opinions based on completely incorrect facts.

Take this piece based on a Moneyweb interview with Cadiz' Peter Major.

Eskom deserves our anger

Peter Major says that the electricity utility has behaved badly.
Felicity Duncan
15 May 2009 18:38

It's no secret that many consumers were enraged by the power failures that bedeviled the country's electricity supply last year, as well as the sharp tariff increases that have followed.

However, businesses, especially power-intense businesses like mining, were hurt much worse by the problems. In January last year, for example, Eskom told its big mining clients that they would have to reduce their usage by 20% (later adjusted), which meant that production and safety at the mines were severely compromised.

They then also faced massive increases in their costs. This, combined with other cost increases, has made it increasingly difficult for mines to produce profits in South Africa.

Explained Cadiz Corporate Solutions' Peter Major: "We always complain or acknowledge how hard and how sticky these mining costs are and how the last few years I think they've been rising at a compound rate of way over 20%, probably closer to 25% per annum for the last three, four years.

"So they're probably going to be lucky to get away with a 10% labour increase and now that you've got a 34% increase in electricity and that's probably their biggest cost component after labour, so it shows that the pressure never comes off mining companies."

Eskom has defended itself by saying that it had been significantly undercharging South Africans for electricity for many years, and had therefore had trouble maintaining the grid, and that the current big increases are needed just to enable Eskom to break even. But according to Major, this is no excuse.

"It's true [that Eskom has been undercharging] but it kind of angers us because we expected Eskom to be managing itself correctly and we never wanted Eskom, we never expected SA or anybody to be subsidising us, because you build a business and you want certainty in your business and if you see the cost increase of electricity has been 7% a year or say 2% below inflation for five or ten years, you kind of build that into your price, you assume those guys are running that business properly.

"Now after years and years, they say, "Oh, we weren't running it properly, now we're going to slam you with 35% this year on top of the 40% last year" and now you're shell-shocked, what's going to happen next year, will we have another 25, 30% body slam? I think we have a right to be angry here. It means that this company was not managed correctly at all and for a long time."

Old regime - thousands of megawatts built that were mothballed due to the "total onslaught" strategy. No power stations were built subsequent to the eighties due to the surplus power. Factor in the cost of capital incurred each year on . .more dormant assets and work out whether the old pre-1994 regime was that good.

Next, look at the last power station we did build - Majuba. Built on what turned out to be an unusable coal field. Now that we need it, Eskom has to truck in coal supplies from all over.

Then. Consider that Eskom presented its planning in 1997 showing South Africa would run out of power in 2007. But the government and NERSA followed the California debacle by spending the next 10 years attempting to get private companies into a market with the lowest (uneconomic) price of electricity in the world. Seemingly, NERSA and the government forgot (as did California) that security of supply was the first and most important priority. In desperation, Eskom began building Braamhoek (peak power) anyway, under an arrangement that a new entrant might take this over if one was found.

Finally, consider that Eskom began applications for a smoothed set of increases in 2003, warning that without these, the price would have to radically escalate as a future build began. These were denied.

As a paid analyst, do your homework.

Fatal attractions?

2009-05-16T14:38:00.004+02:00

Boy do I have a few.

Of course there is the straight best friend (M) (and here). He's still the person I fantasize about settling down with. Never going to happen but he is the benchmark. And still my best friend.

I got missed call from the girl of my dreams (Ng) (and here, here, and here) this week. Not sure what it was about. Despite her now married status, my heart still skipped a beat.

There is another really good friend (Nb). Probably the one friend who actually loves me. He phones and I hear the smile in his voice when we talk. He is married with two kids. If things were different he'd be the perfect guy to settle down with.

There is the guy who works at my client (R). The guy I hit on anonymously (and here). Who is now a very good friend. I had dinner with him, his wife and two gay friends of his on Friday night. He stopped by to watch the rugby at my house on Saturday. And I played golf with him today. Oh my word have I got the hots for him (no he does not know it was me that sent him the email).

Interestingly, I had dinner this week with the first guy I'd ever been with. Amazingly that was five years ago. What a sweet guy. He is still in a relationship, but things were really close to boiling over. They didn't. Damn.

Unrequited love has really bothered me. I love being with M, Ng, Nb and R. However, after I've been with them I do feel really down, knowing that despite how I feel about them, nothing will ever happen. And I wonder why I can't meet someone like them who is available. I am trying. The dating sites (here), the anonymous email to the guy I hoped might respond. With regards to girls, there is an opportunity, but she could be on the rebound and at 29 is likely to be looking for "the one." I'm not sure I can handle that pressure. With regard to guys, short of going to a gay club - something I really don't think is going to deliver an eligible guy - I'm not sure what more to do.

In the meantime I'm accumulating best friends I have feelings for. Damn.

So did you vote DA or ANC?

2009-05-15T17:17:00.002+02:00

Why might I ask?

The current all out war emphasizes all that is bad about both.

The stupidity of the DA anti-Zuma campaign shows an opposition unable to campaign on policy - but instead is anti-everything. I once suggested this to Tony Leon after another anti-ANC crime diatribe. He looked genuinely hurt. "I thought my speech was quite positive..."

Further, it is actually an indictment on the DA that they are 15 years into democracy and still predominantly white and male. Joe Seramane is used as quota chairman despite his very real struggle credentials. I'm white and male and I don't relate to the DA leadership. My workplaces and social life are more integrated.

On the other hand, the ANC and communist responses have been nothing short of staggering. Particularly the responses of their youth leagues. Grief. I wrote more mature letters at 6 years old.

Frankly, the responses are transparent. The ANC has merely been paying lip service to democracy. Threatening to make the Western Cape ungovernable betrays their inability to countenance opposition and debate. Further, their insistence that Zuma must not be criticized because he is president is immature and dangerous in the extreme. You earn trust - no matter who you are. Further, the essence of democracy is the ability to criticize freely. Would the ANC have insisted that Americans refrain from criticizing George W. Bush?

All that said, whether quoted out of context or not, Zille's reference to Zuma's aids risk to his wives was ill-considered and frankly, naive.

What is the catchiest song you know?

2009-05-10T14:32:00.004+02:00

Bloody hell, this MGMT song "Kids" must be right up there...

Loving it!!

Kids - MGMT

You were a child,
crawlin' on your knees toward it.
Makin' mama so proud,
but your voice is too loud.

We like to watch you laughing.
Pickin' insects off plants.
No time to think of consequences.

Control yourself.
Take only what you need from it.
A family of trees wanting,
To be haunted.

Control yourself.
Take only what you need from it.
A family of trees wantin',
To be haunted.

The water is warm,
but its sending me shivers.
A baby is born,
crying out for attention.
Memories fade,
like looking through a fogged mirror
Decisions to decisions are made and not fought
But I thought,
this wouldn't hurt a lot.
I guess not.

Control yourself.
Take only what you need from it.
A family of trees wantin',
To be haunted.

Control yourself.
Take only what you need from it.
A family of trees wantin',
To be haunted.

Control yourself.
Take only what you need from it.
A family of trees wantin',
To be haunted.

Control yourself.
Take only what you need from it.
A family of trees wantin',
To be haunted.

Control yourself.
Take only what you need from it.
A family of trees wantin',
To be haunted.

Have you seen the new Golf ad?

2009-05-06T23:03:00.003+02:00

Really top ad. Really love it.

Have you seen genius on Idols?

2009-05-04T22:25:00.004+02:00

Most of the time Idols shows performers with potential. They're just kids that might turn into stars. Sometimes you see the transformation taking place. Sometimes you see brilliant talent.

And sometimes you see genius.

Last year it was David Cook singing "Billy Jean."

This year it was Adam Lambert singing "Mad World."

This guy is genius. He reminds me at times of Pete Wentz (Fall Out Boy) and Jared Leto (30 Seconds to Mars).

The reason the videos above are genius and not just talent is interpretation. Yeah they are iconic songs. But you forget they have ever been sung before when you hear Cook and Lambert sing them.

As big a fan as I am of David Archuleta from last year, when I heard Cook sing Billy Jean I thought, "Wow - genius. This guy deserves to win."

Ditto for Adam Lambert. It was evident he was a cut above early on in this year's American Idol. But the Mad World performance will stand out amongst all artists - not just Idols hopefuls.

Tears for Fears - Mad World lyrics

Songwriters: Orzabal, Roland;

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Goin' nowhere, goin' nowhere
Their tears are fillin' up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dyin'
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
'Cause I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad world, mad world
Mad world, mad world

Children waitin' for the day they feel good
Happy birthday, happy birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sits and listen, sits and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson?
Look right through me, look right through me

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dyin'
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
'Cause I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad world, mad world
Mad world, mad world

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dyin'
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
'Cause I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad world, mad world
Mad world, mad world
A raunchy young world
Mad world

Did my vote make a difference?

2009-04-27T11:29:00.003+02:00

So the ANC got 65,9% of the vote. That means they missed a two-thirds majority by 0,7%. About 20m South Africans voted. That means the ANC missed a two-thirds majority by 140 000 votes. South Africa had almost 20 000 voting stations.

That means, on average, it took only 7 votes per voting station to deny the ANC a two-thirds majority.

Now tell me it is not worth voting because, "What difference can one vote make?"

Will you vote based on principles?

2009-04-21T20:05:00.008+02:00

It is interesting that for the first time that I can remember, details of South African parties policies are being circulated prior to the election. The Mail & Guardian policy test seems to be spreading like wildfire. It asks a series of questions and provides party policies as answer choices. Based on your responses, it then ranks parties based on their alignment with your choices. The results will surprise you. Of one of my client's teams, we all ended up with parties other than those we had considered. Makes you think, doesn't it?

Another person had sourced the Family Policy Institute's guide to parties' values and that generated huge interest.

Then we began to remark at how interesting the interest in party policies and the appearance of these tools is. It really is encouraging. Instead of listening to the mud slinging that characterizes South African political debate, we can now evaluate parties based on their policy. Surely the voter curiosity and the creation of these tools marks a maturing of our democracy?

We remarked that what we were experiencing is perhaps due to the emergence of a potentially credible opposition in Cope, but most likely the sensation of Obama's campaign and election. A colleague remarked how she had listened to her 17 year old daughter discuss the elections with friends. She asked her daughter who she would vote for.

"Cope, mom," her daughter replied.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because Cope is hope," her daughter recited the party's enigmatic slogan. It sure echoes the Obama, "Yes we can!"

What was also evident is how much damage the DA's Stop Zuma campaign has done to the party's image. People are tired of "anti-" campaigning. Tell us what YOU stand for.

Someone remarked, "What does it matter? If you don't vote DA, your vote against the ANC is wasted."

No dammit! If the Cape Town results of our last local government election proved anything, it was the power of coalition politics. Non-ANC parties were forced to form a coalition to gain control of the Cape. It meant that those that agreed with the Independent Democrats' policies were granted huge power as the ID became the king-makers in their coalition choices. Their initial choice of siding with the ANC probably knocked the party back forever, but the point was proved. Even the third, forth or fifth most popular party can wield tremendous power in the swing vote in coalition formation. Lesson - vote your conscience.

Further history demonstrates this point. Most South Africans know of when Helen Suzman was the only representative of the Progressive Party in South Africa. She stood up against tireless abuse from the National Party and her voice echoed from the one seat her party held in parliament to the corners around the world. Tell me it was not worth voting for her.

On a far lighter note, the Nandos campaign has landed it in hot water with the ANC Youth League. But oh how brilliant:

I really hope you vote tomorrow if you're eligible. It should mean something that people died for the right to vote. Some friends won't vote for a variety of reasons:

"Because all politicians lie"

"Because the ANC will still win"

"Because I don't identify with any of the parties"

Vote for the rational above. It only takes a few thousand votes to obtain one seat based on South Africa's proportional representation system. That means that even if only a couple of people in each town or city vote for your choice of party, together you could add up to a seat in parliament for your choice.

How do you vote Liezel van der Westhuizen off Idols?

2009-04-20T22:05:00.005+02:00

Holy crap. Without doubt the most useless presenter they could have chosen for Idols South Africa.

The woman drives me crazy with her affectations and complete lack of ability to appear anything close to natural. Compare to the original Pop Idols presenters Ant and Deck. Or Ryan Seacrest.

She changes dresses in between songs on the show!!!! She tears up every week when someone is voted off. She recites the same scripted lines every show. Give me a break woman.

How do we vote the useless woman off air?

As an aside, the results show sucks big hairy ones. Besides Liezel virtually bawling every time, the staged suspense is pathetic. Yeah it is part of the formula, but take a cue from American Idol, bring some former winners in to perform, reduce the time you fill with the crap and get to the point.

Who the hell is Susan Boyle?

2009-04-16T23:07:00.001+02:00

You'll remember the name after you watch this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

13 million YouTube views in no time at all - and there are about 500 other versions on YouTube too.

Have you heard the new Pet Shop Boys single?

2009-04-16T22:40:00.004+02:00

Holy crap..... AWESOME! Vintage PSB.

Love Etc.

Jeez. Loving this.

Pet Shop Boys - Love etc. Lyrics

You need more You need more You need more You need more
You need more You need more You need more You need more
You need more

Boy it’s tough getting on in the world
When the sun doesn’t shine and a boy needs a girl
It’s about getting out of a rut, you need luck
But you’re stuck and you don’t know how, oh

(Don’t have to be) A big bucks Hollywood star
(Don’t have to drive) A super car to get far
(Don’t have to live) A life of power and wealth
(Don’t have to be) Beautiful but it helps
(Don’t have to buy) A house in Beverly Hills
(Don’t have to have) Your daddy paying the bills
(Don’t have to live) A life of power and wealth
(Don’t have to be) Beautiful but it helps

You need more
Than a big blank check to be a lover, or
A Gulfstream jet to fly you door to door
Somewhere chic on another shore

You need more You need more You need more
You need more You need more You need more
You need love
You need love
You need love

Too much of anything
Is never enough
Too much of everything
Is never enough

Boy it’s tough getting on in the world
When the sun doesn’t shine and a boy needs a girl
It’s about getting out of a rut, you need luck
But you’re stuck and you don’t know how, oh

(Don’t have to be) A big bucks Hollywood star
(Don’t have to drive) A super car to get far
(Don’t have to wear) A smile much colder than ice
(Don’t have to be) Beautiful but it’s nice

You need more
Than the Gerhard Richter hangin’ on your wall
A chauffeur-driven limousine on call
To drive your wife and lover to a white tie ball

You need more You need more You need more
You need more You need more You need more
You need love

I believe that we can achieve
The love that we need
I believe, call me naïve
Love is for free

(Don’t have to be) A big bucks Hollywood star
(Don’t have to drive) A super car to get far
(Don’t have to live) A life of power and wealth
(Don’t have to be) Beautiful but it helps
Beautiful but it helps
Beautiful but it helps

Are you one of the missing South Africans?

2009-04-14T05:34:00.003+02:00

So South Africans overseas will be voting tomorrow. 16 240 of them.

Anyone else disappointed by this? There are hundreds of thousands of South Africans in London alone. And hundreds of thousands more in Perth. After all the celebrations of the court case victory allowing them to vote, 16 240 seems a very disappointing number.

Is it too late to take up music?

2009-04-11T21:15:00.006+02:00

When I was a kid, I played piano for a year or so. Looking back it is really sad. My parents could not really afford to buy a piano and somehow found the means. I never really practiced and wasted the opportunity.

Music is one of things like gymnastics that you kind of have to take up when you're a kid if you want to be good. Sadly it is also one of those things that you may only realise you like when you're older.

Is it too late to take up music at 35? I'm fresh from a weekend of attending the Coke Zero Fest. Fantastic. The talent was just amazing. Local bands like Zebra and Giraffe (if you have not heard them, click through and listen - awesome), Cassette and The Dirty Skirts. And Snow Patrol. Wow. They just blew me away. Oasis were polished and very good, but the Gallagher brothers are every bit as arrogant as you might have heard. But bigger arseholes than you could imagine. While I'm sure the palpable hate between Liam and Noel is real, the on-stage posturing and attitude was pathetic. Insulting your fans is never a good idea. It compared to the complete lack of pretension by every other band including the unbelievable Snow Patrol - who seemed in awe they were opening for Oasis. Dudes, you're better then those pricks.

So back to me taking up music. Keyboards make the most sense. I've been looking and found this amazing keyboard, the Yamaha Motif XS8:

Take a look at this amazing demo video:

This Burt Smorenburg is incredible. Watch this video for entertainment even if you have no musical inclination!

The problem is time. Music takes practice...

So Vavi is quite OK with the LRA protecting lazy incompetent workers?

2009-04-04T22:49:00.004+02:00

I can only assume so based on this quote:

Vavi added that Cosatu would ensure that Zuma keeps to his promises that ministers who do not perform will be fired.

"The Labour Relation Act should not apply to lazy ministers. The thing of keeping deadwood in Cabinet belongs in the past."

M&G

Are you a blind ANC follower?

2009-03-29T13:29:00.007+02:00

This week has seen more about the potential dropping of corruption charges against the ANC president and the debacle regarding the refusal of a visa for the Dalai Lama (and here).

It is sad reading the articles quoting Finance Minister Trevor Manuel (and here) and Foreign Minister Nkosazana Zuma - I believe any objective, vaguely intelligent person would see the glaring hypocrisy in the ANC's stance with regard to the Dalai Lama. A liberation organisation that fought for freedom of speech and the right to disagree - banning a visit because of the SA state's relationship with China and its endorsement of the One-China policy? The ANC continues to ignore the flagrant human rights abuses of China, Burma, Zimbabwe and others. Its position seems dictated by "pro-non-west" policy rather than thoughtful interrogation of what is right.

It would seem that the ANC would rather turn a blind eye to the ZANU murder of thousands and continued state sponsored violence in Zimbabwe than be embarrassed by the failure of an African leader.

Similarly they would turn a blind eye to the oppression of opposition to the Burmese military dictatorship.

And they would ignore the detention and murder of Tibetan activists in China.

The hypocrisy and arrogance is embodied in their leadership by a man (Jacob Zuma) who talks of having "laws that bite" and cracking down on corruption - but has pulled every legal option available to avoid going to court - including threatening to make public tapes embarrassing the former president Mbeki and the National Prosecuting Authority (and here).

Let's make this clear. I am sure I speak on behalf of almost all objective South Africans when I say that all those guilty of wrong should be prosecuted without fear or favour. If Mbeki knew of the arms deal corruption, he too should be prosecuted. If the NPA generally, or Leonard McCarthy specifically, were politically motivated in their actions, they should be prosecuted.

It is only when all believe they will be equally prosecuted before the law that all will equally abide by it. The best example of the consequences of a group believing they deserve different treatment is the behaviour of taxi drivers in South Africa - people who disregard the law because they believe they stand apart.

I can't believe the ANC and their supporters fail to see the hypocrisy. During apartheid they implored the world to give them a voice they were denied at home. Denying the Dalai Lama the same opportunity seems to be in their collective blind spot.

Further, the ANC response lends credence to the rumour that their denial of the visa was ordered by China - an order more weighty through funding of the ANC election campaign by the Chinese government.

Even over the past few months, any disagreement from within their own ranks has conveniently become treasonous. Witness the response to Minister Hogan's criticism of the Dalai Lama scandal and this letter from Duncan Hindle - "The individual should not criticise the collective." Anyone for the return of Stalinism perhaps? Merely a few months back, anti-Mbeki sentiment within the ANC was excused under the headline, "The ANC is a broad church and has room for many opinions." Even more recently, Malema's rantings are excused as being those of a young man who would one day know better.

Sadly it is the ANC supporters that give rise for the most concern. The rabid unquestioning support visible in comments below every article about any of the above-mentioned issues would seem as racist and unquestioning as that of the conservative supporters under apartheid.

It reminds me of the result of the unquestioning support from the West provided to Idi Amin in his rise to power. Murmurings of his abuses were swept under the carpet as the west saw someone they thought they could control. As his power grew, the monster threw off his minders and the result was clear for all to see. Similarly, the Matabeleland murders by Mugabe and his followers were allowed to be covered up. The result is again clear to see.

If we are to enjoy the hard won successes of the liberation struggle, then it is each of our responsibilities to question all leaders and representatives equally. If we call what is right or wrong without partisanship, we stand stronger together. If we have the security to ensure our leaders are defined by us rather than us being defined by our leaders, we need not fear their failure making us less worthy.

What is your best source of economic data?

2009-03-24T22:47:00.002+02:00

For years, I've struggled with a good source for long term historical economic data (such as CPI, foreign exchange rates, interest rates, etc).

many sites charge significant amounts of money for a single time series.

Now I have found the best source!

The OECD (Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development) StatExtracts

Are we in The valley of Elah?

2009-03-18T05:00:00.000+02:00

I watched "In the Valley of Elah" this last Sunday. It is one of the most outstanding and deepest American movies I have ever seen. It stars Tommy Lee Jones and Charlize Theron.

The movie is about a soldier who goes missing after returning from Iraq. Tommy Lee Jones plays the father who tries to find him and when he discovers he has been murdered tries to solve the crime.

As the movie unfolds, one sees the horror of war - not just the victims on a battlefield but the monsters that soldiers become. This movie shows this in an unexpected way. Don't assume the best kids won't become psychopaths under the horrors of war.

The Valley of Elah is where David slew Goliath. Lee Jones tells the story to a kid not realising the irony. David the hero showed unbelievable courage. Asked by the little boy, "Was he scared?" Lee Jones replies of course. And hence David's immense courage.

The movie is not just about how war creates monsters of men. It is about how society molds them. Intolerant of weakness, society makes each one of us less human.

But to blame society is to further remove the problem. The story is about fathers and sons.

SPOILER ALERT - don't read the rest if you're going to watch the movie.

The Valley of Elah's end was as surprising and gratifyingly honest as any I have seen.

A father who deified David and the Calvinistic values the story espoused saw how his son might just have easily have been the killer as the killed. He saw how he created a monster in a home that did not tolerate weakness and glorified the fight for right. He saw how he unknowingly turned away his son after he had killed a child.

And he hoisted an upside down American flag sent home by his son - the signal for a country in in trouble and in need of help. At the beginning of the movie, he had showed an immigrant the error and corrected it.

Yet the kid he had told the story of David and Goliath had it repeated by his mother as he questioned her in awe of David's courage and strength. The woman was a single mom and the kid was growing up in a home without a father. In his brief contact with Lee Jones, he saw a father figure and he saw approval gained through bravery and weakness in fear.

Do you go to rock/pop concerts?

2009-03-16T07:00:00.002+02:00

So as these things appear to happen, it is concert booking season. Sometimes nothing worthwhile happens for a while and then a whole lot of concerts appear on the horizon.

The first biggie for me was the Tour of The Universe by Depeche Mode. I'm a Depeche Mode junkie and their Songs of Faith and Devotion concert in Cape Town in 1996 remains the best I have ever been to. So their new album Sounds of The Universe is being released on the 20th April 2009. The first track off the new album is Wrong, the video of which is already live in HD on YouTube. See below.

DM have been going since around 1980 and still have a cult following. They basically invented techno-pop with Vince Clark (later of Yazoo and Eurasia) when he was part of their line-up.

I blogged when they released Exciter and sadly missed that tour - I have the DVD and it is awesome.

South Africa has not been on their tour schedule again and so I decided that I'm going to see them come hell or high water. Hence I am going to Madison Square Garden for their New York concert on the 3rd of August. Tickets go on sale tomorrow and the pre-sales have gone fast. Other big dates like London sold out in no time. I intend to get the best seats possible.

The next big concert is the Coke Zero Fest in Johannesburg on the 10th April. The line up is awesome:

International artists: OASIS,Snow Patrol,Panic at the Disco, Bullet For My Valentine
Local artists: Zebra and Giraffe, The Dirty Skirts, aKing, Cassette, and Foto Na Dans,One Day Remains

I bought tickets yesterday and it is sure to be unbelievable. Either Oasis or Snow Patrol would have done it for me. Having Bullet for My Valentine and Panic at the Disco on the bill is just cream.

After missing the last Coke Fest with Kaiser Chiefs and 30 Seconds to Mars (would have gone just for them), I'm not missing this year.

As these things go, U2 have a new album, No Line On The Horizon, and are touring this year too. I thought of trying to catch them in the US, but the dates between them and DM are not close enough.

However, they are playing Wembley in London on the 14th of August....

What do you regularly watch on TV?

2009-03-15T14:18:00.001+02:00

To say a PVR / DVR is life-changing is an understatement. My work schedule is crazy meaning I miss most regular TV shows. If I miss an episode then the series loses meaning.

I bought a DVR some years back and that was cool. The PVR adds the TV schedules to the mix making setting up recordings all the more easy.

Here's my weekly recording schedule:

Sunday:

Idols - South Africa - MNET - 17h30
Carte Blanche - news / actuality - MNET - 19h00

Monday:

Jamie's Kitchen - BBC Lifestyle - 18h30
Idols results show - MNET - 19h00
SuperRugby - KykNet - 20h30

Tuesday:

The Amazing Race - SABC 3 - 19h30
Special Assignment - news / actuality - SABC3 - 21h30
3rd Degree - new / actuality - eTV - 21h30

Wednesday:

American Idol - Series Channel - 19h00
Hells Kitchen - BBC Lifestyle - 18h30
Skins - BBC Entertainment - 20h30

Thursday:

American Idol - Series Channel - 19h00
Boots & All - Supersport 1 - 20h30

Other regulars are rugby and cricket, Masterchef and pretty much any food TV.

A big advantage of a PVR over a DVR is the ability to record three different channels and watch a fourth.

The other awesome thing about PVRing is the ability to pause and rewind live TV and clearly skipping ads.

The problem is now finding time to watch all this stuff....

The fall of the US?

2009-03-14T12:55:00.005+02:00

Interesting article...

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/14/world/asia/14china.html?_r=1&th&emc=th

I think the world is on dangerous ground. The US economy has defied economic principle for so long. Twin deficits (budget and current account), capital flows based on financial rather than real assets, and the world’s biggest ponzi scheme – US treasury bonds (there is no prospect of repayment without more issues of debt – as long as the US cannot run a budget surplus). The US is also in a de facto liquidity trap – their real interest rates are currently negative and they cannot stimulate demand through further monetary policy. The minute anyone starts questioning US treasuries and the dollar as a flight to quality, the whole house of cards looks shaky.

What happens if it collapses? Panic regarding the US dollar as a currency standard – return to the gold standard? IMF SDRs as a reserve currency (unlikely given the link to the US)?

How does it collapse? Plunge in the value of US bonds, flight to “real assets” such as hard commodities, plunge in the value of the US dollar, repricing of oil in other currencies (what – not sure) – petrodollars stop. Without investment in US debt and without the Middle East needing to recycle petrodollars, the US is then forced to run current account and budget surpluses. That dries up US demand for international exports setting off a horrendous second round.

Even if the financial crisis has a more orderly unwinding, the money that streamed into US treasuries as a flight to quality will start looking for returns rather than a negative real 1-2%. Those investors are likely to look to other markets, causing a depreciation of the US Dollar.

China is the first wildcard in all of this. They have kept their currency fixed to a low value against the US Dollar for years to ensure continued cheap Chinese goods and US demand. To do this they have had to support the value of the US dollar and find dollar investment for all the dollars they have earned on exports to the US.

The Middle East is the second wildcard. Oil is paid in US dollars and to support the value of oil the Middle East has had to find US dollar investments for the petrodollars.

If either of those two wildcards change behavior, the whole pack comes crashing down.

The shift of power to the Middle East and China is remarkable.

The implications seem fairly dire. The Japanese have funded US lives for years. Now the Chinese have taken over. What is the implication of massive falls in the value of the investments of those countries?

What is a good investment in the post US world? What is the new gold standard? There were problems with gold as a store of value due to its low intrinsic value. Will we see the IMF or another body act as a “Commodities bank” buying up commodities with future value (metals, oil, coal, etc) and creating some sort of combined unit to act as a new reserve currency?

So what's your best affirming moment?

2009-03-02T21:23:00.009+02:00

Funny thing. Some things I'm quite self confident in. Like business. I know I'm good and had all the affirmation I need. Like setting promotion records etc.

When it comes to being seen as attractive, especially by guys - not necessarily to someone, just by them - I feel inadequate. There are a few events that precipitated this. And no matter what has happened since, I've never felt happy with myself.

Something got me thinking of five big moments for me. Not that big in the scheme of things. But memories that make me smile.

Once as a Spur waiter it came time for the dessert order. I asked the group of rowdy middle aged ladies what they'd like for dessert. "We'd like you on a plate," they replied. I responded deadpan, "And would you like me with cream or icecream?" I think I got a big tip.

There was the time I was at a Bon Jovi concert and a women stopped me as I walked past. I turned round and she made me turn round again to have my back facing her. She lifted the sweater round my waist to show my backside to her friends who approved loudly.

And the biggest affirmation? At a fair going into a beer tent, as a friend and I walked in, two young guys were coming out. The one stepped back and pulled his friend back. "Better let this guy through - he's built!" he said smiling at me. I was playing club rugby at the time and pretty strong. It was one of the few moments I've had affirmation from other guys.

The other was when I was playing touch rugby as we entered my matric rugby season. I scored a try that made the other team look silly. One of the first team guys said to me, "Wow, are you playing this season?" It was great. Unfortunately I broke my collar bone badly in the third practice of the season. But I remember that touch rugby game and the comment well.

When I was playing touch on the beach in a random game a friend and I joined, I again made a few people look silly and this guy on the other side who was pretty good and built like a brick shithouse came up to me and asked where I played club rugby.

Funny how context determines importance. Meaningless comments that due to my context became memories that meant something.

What is also weird is how context misleads us. Misleads us into thinking that achieving something will solve an internal dissatisfaction. Madonna was once being interviewed when she explained how she had wanted to be loved and fame became the ultimate means of achieving that on a grand scale. She then told how standing in front of 100 000 adoring sycophantic fans turned out to be the loneliest she had ever been.

It's tough because while you know that's true, you still have to go through the emotional process of dealing with your shit. No one else can do it for you.

Is South Africa ready for prime time gay TV?

2009-02-26T22:49:00.010+02:00

It wasn't that long ago that South Africa lived in censored world where a magazine called Scope was the closest we came to porn.

Now we are one of the most liberal countries in the world, although there are certainly places you'd get beaten up for being gay.

The word has moved rapidly along over the last 15 years too. And gay life is explored in "Queer as Folk" (UK and US versions) and in Skins (currently available on BBC Entertainment on the DSTV platform in South Africa.

The Charlie Hunnam Queer As Folk sex scene - click here to go to YouTube - embedding disabled.

Tonight's Skins episode about Maxxie, the gay character in Skins, might have had a few South Africans hot under the collar (for different reasons) featuring a gay kiss and blow job between teenage boys (the crazy hot Nicholas Hoult - About A Boy - and even hotter Mitch Hewer).

The kiss and blowjob scene - embedding disabled - click here to go to YouTube.

This however would be nothing compared to the few holds barred Queer As Folk. The reason I found out about this was finding out more about the crazily good looking Charlie Hunnam from Green Street Hooligans. The excerpts on YouTube would certainly raise a few temperatures in SA.

But this is probably all healthy, exposing people to what is just another life they didn't understand.

About Queer As Folk.

Mitch Hewer - Maxxie - from Skins

Fantastic dance scene from Series 2 Episode 1 - click here

Rooftop dance scene from Series 2 - click here

Mitch Hewer Cosmopolitan June 2008
by Nicodu55

Charlie Hunnam - Queer As Folk (UK) and Green Street Hooligans

Is 3G and HSDPA the biggest con out?

2009-02-22T16:52:00.004+02:00

I recently moved my iBurst connection to my new offices while waiting for an ADSL installation. 4 months later and I'm still waiting.... (that is another blog / rant)

In the meantime I've been using my HSDPA HTC Touch Diamond to connect to the Internet from home. What a crock. I have seldom got more than 15KBs. This compared to the regular 100KBs achieved on iBurst.

Frankly I think there is too much contention on the cellphone networks and the advertised data speeds are impossible to achieve. Of course if you connect bigger and better aerials I am sure your speed improves exponentially. I am led to believe the stronger your signal, the higher priority your data requests achieve in cell contention algorithms.

Anyway, I could not take it anymore this weekend and rather than working in the office I bought another iBurst account.

Comparative bliss.

UPDATE: Ok. Improve that: My office iBurst (downloading some stuff remotely) is bursting at 145KBs - with the wireless modem in a server room in the middle of the building - no external aerial!

Should South Africa implement "Three Strikes and You're Out" legislation?

2009-01-20T17:46:00.003+02:00

It makes my blood boil when I read about criminals, out on bail or previously convicted, caught after another heinous crime.

I read about how brave shoppers and security guards caught a hijacker in Plumstead Cape Town. He has previous convictions for theft and hijacking.

California implemented some controversial legislation some time back taking away the court's sentencing discretion in the case of a criminal convicted for the third time. They automatically received a long term sentence.

Of course this means that someone convicted of crimes like shoplifting could end up in jail for a long time. Which is why the legislation is controversial.

The following from Wikipedia:

According to the California Dept. of Justice and the California Dept. of Corrections, for the ten years prior to the enactment of the “3 strikes law”, homicide, rape, robbery, assault, burglary, and vehicle theft totaled 8 825 353 crimes, but for the ten years after the enactment of the law, these crimes dropped to 6 780 964. However the decline in crime was a general trend throughout the U.S., even in those parts of the country without three strikes laws.

Rates of murder, rape, robbery, and aggravated assault peaked shortly before passage of the three strikes law.

Another common criticism is that the law puts strain on an already overcrowded prison system. However, for the ten years prior to the enactment of the “3 strikes law,” the California prison population expanded by 400% and for the ten years after there was an overall increase of only 25,5%, a massive decrease in prison population expansion, and three strikes isn't entirely responsible for the 25,5% increase. Thus, though three strikes is a significant factor in California prison overcrowding, other factors are more responsible.

Some have said that there would need to be many new prisons built to house all of these criminals. However, for the ten years prior to the law, 19 new prisons were built in California, while in the ten years after no new prisons were built. Nevertheless, the increase in prison population and lack of additional prisons has added to prison overcrowding; currently, California's prisons are at double capacity.

Finally, there is an idea that criminals on their last strike will be more desperate to escape from police and therefore will be more likely to attack police. This does not reveal whether or not the criminals in question were or were not more desperate and willing to kill."

Frankly, with one of the worst crime rates in the world, it is time South Africa tried something radical. Perhaps "Three Strikes" legislation has the other well known effect - stamp out petty crime and you bring down major felonies.

Was 2008 a success?

2008-12-24T00:58:00.004+02:00

2008 has been a duzi. This year saw the growth of my business, occupation of my first offices, the completion of another honours degree and the crush on someone at work.

One of my clients is a large investment bank. I've been running a large project there for over a year now. The project has proved tough - investment bankers are not the easiest clients in the world. But things have gone well and has sold into the fifth phase which is a testament to client satisfaction. There are things that could have gone better. But given that much of my team is made up of client team members and the rest by sub-contractors, the dynamic has been tough to manage. Next year is a big one to take this client to the next level. More about that later.

Another client is a Canadian mining company. This year saw two trips to present to their board and run workshops in Toronto. It's been some time since I used to have a hectic international travel schedule, and traveling across time zones to Toronto and back within a week is a killer. But things went well and I continue to do cutting edge financial strategy work related to their global expansion. They must be satisfied because they've asked to sign a retainer agreement.

I've neglected my global media client this year and this must mark a failure. The division MD who was my main client has left and I have not been close enough to ensure continuity in the relationship. I need to fix this but have found that I can only really stretch across two clients. I need a partner take over this relationship.

Which gets me onto hiring. Clear out-and-out failure. I started by approaching two people I used to work with. One was without doubt the most promising consultant I'd ever worked with. I wanted to hire him as a manager (mid level in my company). He's now really successful at one of the banks and it will cost a fortune to hire him back. Anyway, I offered to match his current package and he decided he needed more time in his role before moving back to consulting. The good news is we met in the last few weeks and he may well move in the next few months. This would help me a lot, so it is really exciting.

The other ex-colleague I approached is now a director of a listed company. She backed down mid year due to concerns as to whether she could be a consultant again. But we also met in the last few weeks and she may be available by June. She fits the media client in terms of skills, so I'm really holding thumbs.

Both ex-colleagues know me and I trust them. I picked them as the people to build a business with when I approached them.

Of the more than 100 CVs I've considered for analyst positions, one resulted in an offer. Sadly she turned me down as she was scared of being the first employee alone in the office during mornings when I am on client site. The analyst position is office based until sufficient experience has been gained. I can imagine joining a small new company straight out of varsity as top student, etc would be intimidating. I need to find a way to sell this.

So finding employees has been a failure thus far.

I also took occupation of new offices. This has been my biggest commitment to my business thus far. Rental is one thing, but furnishing and fitting an office is another. It's been a huge expense. And hard work - as I've done lots of the fitting and furniture purchasing myself. But the office looks amazing and I have capacity to take on 18 staff. The commitment is 3 years of monthly rentals. Wow. It certainly is motivation to hire some billing employees to spread the contribution towards rental. But it is a big milestone and is an undoubted success.

I finished another honours degree this year. I studied further in my third major as it turned out to be most relevant to what I do and where my greatest interest lay. So my reasons were due to interest and for learning rather than because I wanted another qualification. But still, my ambition was a first class / cum laude pass. I was on track but with the crazy year and the last trip overseas in particular, my grades slipped and I missed the first. This is the failure I regret the most.

On the reading front, this year has been an undoubted success. I've got through tonnes this year by catching 10 minutes here and there. It seems to work for me. In particular I've read all the Investment Banking books going. This has been enjoyable and clearly contributed to my competence with one of my clients. My list for the year includes (amongst the tonnes of academic reading):

Fiasco - Frank Partnoy
Infectious Greed - Frank Partnoy
The Predators' Ball - Connie Bruck
The Accidental Investment Banker - Jonathan Knee
Fooled by Randomness: The Hidden Role of Chance in Life and in the Markets - Nassim Nicholas Taleb
The Black Swan - Nassim Nicholas Taleb
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People - Stephen Covey
Barbarians at the Gate: The Fall of RJR Nabisco - Bryan Burrough
Traders, Guns & Money: Knowns and unknowns in the dazzling world of derivatives - Satyajit Das
Goldman Sachs : The Culture of Success - Lisa Endlich
The New New Thing - Michael Lewis
The Bonfire of The Vanities - Tom Wolfe
Monty - Mark Keohane

For those interested in investment banking, I've been through these over the past few years:

Wriston: Walter Wriston, Citibank, and the Rise and Fall of American Financial Supremacy - Phillip L. Zweig
Den of Thieves - James B. Stewart
Liar's Poker: Two Cities, True Greed - Michael Lewis

And those I bought but have yet to read (some of the many, but for the next few months):

Valuation: Measuring and Managing the Value of Companies - McKinsey
Paul Wilmott on Quantitative Finance 3 Volume Set - Paul Wilmott
Outliers: The Story of Success - Malcolm Gladwell
Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking - Malcolm Gladwell
Fooling Some of the People All of the Time: A Long Short Story - David Einhorn

I now need to think about my masters. I have discovered that Wits Business School offers a dissertation based masters. This compares much more favourably than the coursework based masters at Wits commerce faculty. The coursework based masters has lectures at 17h00 which is just incompatible with a business schedule. I will either enroll for the dissertation based masters in 2009 or complete some maths courses and do some preparatory research.

I must reinvigorate the media client relationship this year and possibly bring in a global FMCG client. This will require signing a partner.

My intention is to complete 3 to 4 hires this year - a partner, a manager, an analyst or possibly 2. This would reflect huge growth in my business and a big success in delegating and trusting others.

I also need to find a successful relationship this year - be it with a guy or girl. I really want someone who I am attracted to to be attracted to me. For the company, understanding and love.

What is your Christmas wish?

2008-12-22T14:02:00.001+02:00

If you could have a wish granted for Christmas, what would it be?

I'm sure what we wish for for Christmas is affected by our personal circumstances. If a relative is sick you might wish for their recovery. If you are sick you might wish for your recovery.

Who asks you and where you are asked might also influence your answer. If you were competing in a beauty competition, you might wish for world peace.

I'm so lucky. I have so much. Health, wealth and often happiness. Of course we make our luck and I have worked really hard to achieve what I have. And I hope I am grateful for the simple things like my health. A friend was recently in an accident and at worst may never recover, at best could take a year. Things like that make me think. I hope I appreciate my health in more ordinary times.

Of course unless you're mother Theresa, we probably wish for something that affects us personally. I could wish for some more luck in finding the right people to hire next year. I could wish for continued growth in my client business. I could wish for success for the next step in my studies. I could wish for success with a relationship. Sure I wish for all of those things.

But it will all mean nothing if South Africa does not turn the corner in its fight against crime. There are so many positives for our country at present. The World Cup and the infrastructure build. The new competition in our politics. The relatively healthy state of our economy. Our fantastic rugby and cricketing success.

But if we continue to live under threat and lose people to crime, it will all ebb away. Earlier this year I was presenting to one of my client's boards in Toronto. News came in that one of their South African employee's families had been held up in their house. The shock and anger of the Canadians was palpable. It is one of the reasons they are investing in new opportunities outside of South Africa. Crime costs us investment, skills and lives. I wish that we turn the corner in 2009.

Am I doomed to unrequited love?

2008-11-18T18:09:00.004+02:00

Damn near seems that way. I fell for the girl of my dreams and lost her. I fell for my best friend who is straight. I love my next best friend and could easily spend my life with him. And I'm completely gaga about this guy I work with.

Since the days of the anonymous email, I have found a way to meet and get to know him. We played golf together on Sunday. I loved it. He is a truly beautiful guy. Really nice, very sporty and easy to get along with. And straight. And getting married next year.

He does not know it is me that sent the email. Maybe he suspects it somewhere. But happily we get along great.

I so want to be close to him. Dammit. Dammit Dammit.

In parallel, I'm fully aware that I seem to be falling for unavailable (straight) guys. And I've been chasing someone on an online dating site. To say that finding a normal guy or girl on a dating site is difficult is the mother of all understatements. But the only normal guy (it would seem) on Datingbuzz appears to be avoiding me.

So if you know anyone who fits the following profile, let me know:

Boy

Athletic - I had no idea this guy I'm gaga over was a sports achiever - turns out he was an age group SA wrestler and provincial tennis player. Must be something about his build and manner than gave that away.

Slim and strong - The guy I'm gaga over has these beautiful broad shoulders. My best friend has the best build I know.

Not a hunk - I don't fall for big hairy body builders. I seem to fall for the quietly strong, boyish types. Chad Micheal Murray types...

Imperfect achievers - guys who are not the obvious winner, but made it anyway.

Girl

Naturally pretty - can't stand overly made up women. I love natural ready to go girls.

Sporty - not necessarily girls who are sports stars, but certainly girls who like sports and are game.

Laid back and dressed up - girls who wear jeans but put on heels and a cocktail dress and blow a room away. Girls like Natalie Portman and Kiera Knightly.

Tall and slim - I'm 6'3". Girl's between 5'8" and 6' match me better.

Both

Intelligent - I love chatting about everything from art to sport to economics to politics. I get bored of superficiality.

Sensitive - I like people who care about the world and others. Who listen more than they speak. Who stand up for those weaker than them.

____

Seems impossible to find.

Where could you live other than home?

2008-08-06T01:06:00.003+02:00

So I've been in Toronto for a week. I like it a lot.

My favourite city outside of South Africa is New York. I've spent a lot of time there and love the buzz. I like the high paced business life and the 24 hour lifestyle. I love the sidewalk culture and that you can stumble downstairs from your Manhattan flat to a pub/shop/restaurant. New York is a difficult place to live though. You need tonnes of money. Rentals are ridiculous unless you hit the jackpot and find a rent controlled apartment. The weather is extreme to the point of being ridiculous. I've been in -26C in winter and 40C with 80% humidity in summer. Your face freezes in the former and you sweat bullets in a suit in the latter. Then there is space - lack of space literally drives New Yorkers mad. And there are plenty of mad New Yorkers. I reckon more per capita than anywhere else. Also, big city people are pretty shallow. It seems they keep things superficial as a defence mechanism. The good thing about this is you can walk into a club and everyone is one the same terms. If it is a pick up joint, you will be successful. In fact girls hit on guys there. But you could meet a million people in New York and not really get to know any of them. If you have money you can live in a nice apartment, walk from your air conditioning to a waiting cab, spend your weekends in the Hamptons, and marry someone from California.

Toronto reminds me of New York a bit. It's a little more genuine, a little less high rise. It has some of the village aspects of Greenwich Village in the downtown area. And people trek to their "cottages" on the lakes for summer weekends. It doesn't seem to get quite as hot in summer, but has horrific winters - to the extent that the city has an entire underground system to avoid the streets. You plug your car in to avoid the engine freezing. On average, the people are a lot thinner than Americans and are definitely more friendly than New Yorkers. The worst thing so far? The bugs! Canada has just got ridiculous amounts of water. The great lakes and the smaller ones are everywhere. With that much fresh water, mozzies are a problem for a start. In the middle of the downtown area you get bitten to pieces at a sidewalk restaurant. And then there are the black flies. Like horse flies they have a painful bite that leaves a massive itchy bite. There is the so called black fly season here.

The CN Tower in Toronto

"Cottages" on Lake Joseph

I love Europe and identify more with British people than any other nationality outside South Africa. But I could never live in Europe. Whether it is the weather or the pace of life, something just does not click. New York and Toronto remain my favourites.

WTF? Karma gone mad?

2008-07-29T18:22:00.001+02:00

This month has been absolutely hellish.

It started with some consulting competitors (overseas consultants paid bazillions) writing an absolutely rubbish report about an area that includes part of my project. Things had been going really well, and then I had to respond to a load of rubbish and discredit each piece of lame feedback. It really was one of the worst pieces of consulting I have ever seen. Junior consultants left to their own devices, who interviewed a selection of people and then reported back a whole lot of opinions without verifying their truth or checking with the people directly involved.

Of course I'd be the first to admit that perception is reality - if people held those views, then I needed to deal with them. Unfortunately, many seemed to be the consultants own uneducated views.

Conference call to one of the fuckers after he had returned to the UK leaving me to mop up his shit:

Me: So Rajeev, you have made a point on page 5, 6, 8, 10, 14 and 15 that the exception process is high level and needs to be taken down a level. In fact, my boss says the remark was made that the process needs to go three levels of detail deeper. Help me understand what you think it should look like.

Rajeev: I'm not sure where this three levels deeper came from...

Me: My boss who was in the presentation.

Rajeev: Anyway, you need to detail each of the exceptions that can occur and how they are fixed.

Me: That sounds like a good idea. Except: there are thousands of potential exceptions. They could include trades being booked incorrectly to a data error, to a technical problem.

Rajeev: So say how they must be fixed...

Me: Uh, typically once you know the exception, the solution is pretty self-evident. You want us to detail, say, 2000 self evident fixes?

Rajeev: Perhaps pick the major ones that occur the most often.

Me: Right. And this would solve the issue you've highlighted in your review?

Rajeev: Yes. And show how they would be corrected in which system.

Me: Silence.

Rajeev: Would you be able to do that?

Me: So you want us to show how an incorrectly booked trade is corrected in each of the 17 trading systems?

Rajeev: IITQ, let me give you some advice...

Me: *going purple at a condescending snotty nosed consultant offering a partner patronising advice*

Rajeev: ...people just need to understand how the process will work in real life. You need to make it real to them.

Me: Thank you Rajeev, we'll include some examples. Thanks for your time. Good bye.

_____

So after I then went home and hit a pillow, things got worse. I had to tour the exco and explain the misinterpretations. Agree new next steps.

And then.

Two dysfunctional idiots on my client project team decided they were unhappy. One was almost booted from the organisation. I saved his arse and ended him up on my project team as a result. The other wouldn't know his arse from his elbow.

After much corridor chatter, one approaches me to let me know how unhappy he is. Except he says, "IITQ, the team is really frustrated with you right now."

Now one of the first rules of feedback is "Speak from the I." Don't talk on behalf of others.Keep it to your own issues. Anyway, I let him carry on.

After another one-on-one - where he interviewed me: "So IITQ, what do you see your role is?" After some response from me, he said, "I noticed you did not say 'Build the team' - that should be your primary role."

FARK. Anyway, I sucked it up and then interviewed the whole team to find out if they had any issues. Almost all the others did not. I then presented a plan of action and got feedback. Pretty much two weeks wasted.

In the meantime, I'd been preparing for a workshop with a client in Canada. Except I discovered 5 weeks prior that my passport had expired. Fuck a duck. My travel agent put me in touch with a shady character to "expedite" the process and get it done in two. I'll spare you the gory details on this one - I'm sure you can see where it is going.

Friday comes and I'm supposed to be flying out via London. No passport. Move all flights to Monday upon more promises. Still nothing. I had to phone my client and let them know I could not get my passport and visa sorted out. They had been in the loop, but hit the roof anyway. They had 20 people flying in from all over to the workshop. 20 business class fares. Months of organisation. Just the airfares = R1m. It was the worst call I've ever had in my life.

Client then calls one of their SA directors who is very well connected. He speaks to a top government official and arranges for me to get my passport the next day - today. They redo the whole minimum 6 week process overnight.

I phone the Canadian Embassy - can I go straight through their process and get a visa in an hour? Who am I working for? X - ok.

It ends there? Oh no. So I have not slept in days due to work for clients. I traipse out this morning with everything triple checked. My bags packed for my evening flight in case I am held up in our nations capital. 08h00 and I walk to my car. Ignition. No. Flat battery - from nowhere. For no rhyme or reason. Frantic call to visa specialist who is meeting me in Pretoria. Can he pick me up? Anyway, he jump starts my car and I follow him to Pretoria. Whole process sorted out in 2 hours - both Home Affairs and Canadian visa.

I'm in the airport lounge now. I'm too scared to tie my own shoelaces in case something goes wrong. This episode has reduced me to a quivering wreck. Yesterday, the tiredness and stress virtually made me lose my voice.

Karma? Funnily enough, there is a psychological equivilent. Our psyches are like see saws. If we overplay our strengths we become overconfident, we ignore our weaknesses and they become under-practised. The whole thing tips and we are then flung out of our comfort zone. So life has a way of putting us through these cycles.

But it just seems like too much out of my control has gone wrong. Of course, me being me I'm beating myself up about it.

Now I have to face my client. A client absolutely fuming. I missed the first day of their management breakaway and they had to reorient the whole thing to have the fun event on the first day when I couldn't be there. I spoke to the MD last night in Canada. There was a lot of fuming silence on the other side of the phone.

This means I'm going to have to grovel and offer some free work to make up for it. Which will cost me a fortune.

But not as much as if I hadn't made it and been sued. That could have cost me my house. Worst case I could still lose this client. That would be a disaster in itself.

But karma owes me some upside. Dammit.

Why can't we just order a mate?

2008-07-05T15:01:00.007+02:00

For some reason the guy who I anonymously hit on continues to haunt me. I see him at my client and I tingle. He's just so attractive to me.

It bugs me all the more because there are so few people I find attractive. There was the girl I never got over. There have only been a few others. In celebrity terms, Kiera Knightly, Natalie Portman, Chad Michael Murray and Hayden Christensen do it for me. Their names spring instantly to mind. But I feel absolutely nothing for most other celebrities. This client guy is like that. Just unbelievably attractive to me.

Given this, why can't we just order the person we want? Life would be so much easier ordering from a catalogue.

Online dating hasn't really fulfilled its promise in this regard. Firstly, there aren't too many of those guys or girls I find attractive and when there are, there probably aren't...

If only I had a mail-order catalogue like this one:

I'll take one of each please.

Who will bare witness to your life?

2008-06-02T20:19:00.008+02:00

At a friend's recent wedding he told how he had read the above somewhere and how he had found that person in his new wife. That life was richer for having someone to bare testimony.

While I'm fairly self sufficient, it is something I identify with. As I grew up I was taught that telling someone of your achievements was boasting and equivalent to sin.

It has meant that my successes in the latter part of my life have been largely my own. I have not even told my parents. No one.

So I'll tell this anonymous blog.

After being sick in my first year, I repeated through UNISA. I aced everything. Stung by being excluded from UCT, I had a point to prove. It was the first year of my life that I'd actually risked failure and really worked. Until then, I think fear of failure meant that I held back, using lack of effort as an excuse. My aggregate was stratospheric. UCT accepted me back the following year.

After chronically underachieving at school and in my undergraduate career, I graduated with a first class honours from UCT. I was 3rd in the class, but it was a big improvement.

After a year at an accounting company, I moved to an international strategy consulting company. One of the top 3 in the world. After a solid start and first promotion, I was promoted through the second rung in record time. My promotion was presided over by the head of our London office and the it was globally the fastest anyone had been promoted through senior to managing consultant ever. The record was never broken to my knowledge.

While a junior consultant I sold work in the first two projects I was ever involved in.

As a senior consultant I was asked to lead a project and manage client interaction. This was unheard of below managing consultant. The client was a director with years of experience managing consulting contracts at SAB. He told my bosses I was one of the best consultants he'd ever worked with.

While still a senior consultant I was asked to join the strategic management forum of the business. Some more senior colleagues objected and were told that if they didn't like it, they could leave.

I won awards every year they were offered. From innovation awards about three times, to best consultant.

As a managing consultant I worked with a Director in London. He wrote one of the world's best selling handbooks on strategy and was a partner in two of the world's leading consulting businesses. He brought me in to advise a company he owned a substantial stake in. He told my bosses that I was one of the most promising consultants he'd ever worked with.

While a managing consultant I built a team of 8 consultants under me that I recruited from industry. I sold and delivered work with them around the globe.

At 26 I sold strategic advice to South Africa's leading financial services provider. I remained advisor to the MD for two years.

I was promoted to Principal at 27. The youngest in the history of the South African office.

I was debt free at 30 with a paid off house and car. This seems minor but in the context of my upbringing it freed me of the fears of my parents who worked their whole lives to pay off their house, car and provide the best they could for their children.

At 31, I was asked to take the managing director position of the South African branch of a global company, execute a merger and manage a staff of over 70 people. I turned this down to start my own consulting company.

I took 9 months off after being emotionally exhausted and burnt out. I studied economics III through UNISA for a third major, 11 years after studying economics II. I aced it and came top of the class.

I started studying another honours part time, this time in economics, through WITS last year. It is a two year course. At the half way mark at the end of last year I was a fraction off a distinction and top of the class. With my work load this year I'm way off this standard and miserable about it.

I have now been running my company for about a year and a half. If she agrees, I'm taking in a director of a listed company as a partner. I'm employing consultants. And I've signed a 5 year lease on new offices.

One of my current clients is a leading investment bank. Two weeks ago, one of the CFOs told the exco that I am the best consultant ever to work with the organisation.

Why am I telling an anonymous blog? Because it illustrates the point. After underachieving I've done quite a lot over a number of years. But no one knows and there is no one to bare testimony. If I got hit by a car tomorrow, not even my parents would know that I actually did some special things. I want someone to share the secret. Someone who finds me special without knowing any of the above. And then one day hears me share and is surprised but loves me no more and no less.

How do you find someone special?

2008-05-09T21:13:00.003+02:00

So I'm handling my "rejection" from my anonymous approach poorly.

Of course the guy was straight, engaged, etc, etc.

But it followed my tough time after I'd seen the guy I love and can't have.

I don't fall for many guys or girls. It's weird though. I'll meet a guy or girl and I'll be "Wow. This person's special."

They're not stereotypically hot either. Sure, they're usually something special - but different. And there's something else about them. I once wrote, "..like me but better." And they're usually really nice / good people.

They're not a brainless babe, a bulging hunk, an alpha male, etc.

So I obsess and put them on pedestals. Even a guy I've not said more than two words to. He becomes unattainable bliss.

Maybe the fantasy of something working out with the guy/girl of my dreams helps keep me going through loneliness, overwork, etc. Maybe they need to be unattainable so I never have to deal with their flaws. Maybe...

In the meantime, I'm dying. I'm under so much work and study pressure right now. Despite the fact that I hardly know the guy I emailed, he's obliging and cute and he's like me in that he has succeeded at work at a young age. I think the thought of meeting someone similar made this guy even more attractive. Damn. I want to meet someone to share things with. Someone who gets excited by the same things, someone who'll understand.

UPDATE: How do you hit on someone at work?

2008-05-07T16:13:00.005+02:00

Oh crap. Crap, crap, crap, crap crap crap!

After waiting for a week for my response, I sent another email today.

06/05/2008 19:08
Subject FW: Hey

Hi XXX

Did you get my email?

Perhaps you were a bit freaked out? I know I would have been if I'd got an
email like that! Sorry if that's the case.

If it helps, I have no idea whether you would meet a guy for a drink.
Frankly, you appear straight. I approached you merely because I thought you
were attractive and a nice guy. I'm a young guy in (hopefully!) the same
situation. I am certainly not openly into other guys - the anonymous email
should tell you that.

Anyway, before I tie myself into any more knots with this awkward approach,
let me know or tell me if the approach is too concerning to you / you're
not interested. (And feel free to continue this conversation from a non-YYY
email!)

Cheers

The original email:

Subject: Hey
Date: Fri, 25 Apr 2008 14:14:45 +0200

Hi XXX

This is a bit of a strange email.

I work with at you at YYY but don't really know you. You seem like a nice
and attractive guy.

Thing is I'm another guy. Hopefully also nice and attractive. Pretty
normal bloke really.

Would you meet another guy for a drink?

I wanted to keep this anonymous until I'd got the potentially
embarrassing introduction out the way.

Cheers

To which I got the response:

Hi.

Yes, I was a bit freaked out, you never know if there are idiots out there
who would think sending something like this would be funny, you seem
sincere though.

Unfortunately I am straight and recently got engaged so wont be taking you
up on your offer.

Best of luck on finding someone special.

Kind regards,

So this anonymous email approach is quicker and safer than spending ages getting acquainted with someone hot and then finding out they're definitely unavailable.

But how I wish he was. I really am beginning to be concerned at my attraction to unavailable straight guys.

How do you hit on someone at work?

2008-05-03T14:32:00.004+02:00

This is complicated enough when you're a guy hitting on a girl. It's very complicated when you're a closet bi guy hitting on a guy.

It's even more complicated when the "work" is a client organisation.

Anyway. Very attractive guy is a contractor at my client.

So after a while I came up with a brainwave: how about a polite anonymous email?

Of course this could still all go horribly wrong. He could see the anonymity as cowardly. He could play along and then expose me. Or he could be scared and think this is someone playing a practical joke on him.

Or he could just be straight.

Sadly, he and I were both on leave this week. So I got the "XXX is out of the office..."

Let's freaking hope he did not set his work mail to auto-forward to a colleague...

Will I ever love anyone else as much?

2008-05-02T14:21:00.003+02:00

I played golf with my best friend the other day. I've written how I've been in love with him for what is now approaching 16 years. And I wrote how it is difficult being friends with him while I continue to feel the way I do about him despite his being straight and unavailable.

It's great being with him and both of us can just "be." No bullshit. We know one another inside out. We're similar in many ways. We studied together, we both love sports and fairly intellectual.

Which makes it difficult. Because there is the attraction part as well.

Added to this is the fact that he is a world class athlete (literally - he took up triathlon, part-time, outside his regular job, and qualified for the world champs in Hawaii) and has possibly the best body I've ever seen. I've had that head over heels love for him for years - the kind that loves his hands, feet, etc.

And despite being intensely private and knowing my feelings for him, he has now changed and showered with me after golf on two separate occasions. Which I've taken as a huge compliment emphasizing his trust in me.

But my god, seeing him naked. I've gone into a depression once again.

The worst part is knowing that even if I went out with a guy as physically beautiful as him, I'd struggle to find someone who I can be as happy with just sitting at a table having coffee with.

Can you dance?

2008-04-25T22:00:00.005+02:00

Hells bells.

I just watched Step Up 2 The Streets. If there is a alter ego inside of me it is a performer - dancer or singer.

You know I think Daniel "Cloud" Campos is amazing. Well the kids in Step Up 2 are truly brilliant too.

Man I'd love to dance like that. For years, I've been going to various clubs that would be called black due to the predominance of the club being black. In fact, some times I've been the only white guy in the club. Mostly they're East African patronized. The French African music is intoxicating. I also go to South African patronized black clubs - they're far more hip hop oriented. Funny. Perhaps because of my lack of inhibition in a black club and something about me being able to dance to the music, I can dance with the best girl dancer on the floor. Which is why I've almost been killed twice. Boyfriends don't like me.

It's weird. I'm a very average ballroom dancer, but with hip-hop I've got rhythm. In fact, on my last visit to Moloko, I was fairly quietly dancing off the dancefloor and this bloke comes up to me. "Hey dude, you've got black rhythm." Jeez, I was happy for the rest of the night.

But man, I wish I could really dance. The dancing in Step Up is like a mix of Urban and gymnastics.

Watch Save the Last Dance to learn about Hip Hop dancing. Good movie too.

Oh, by the way, the Step Up 2 soundtrack is sizzling. My neighbours have been suffering for the last two weeks!

Is South African violence the thin end of the wedge for the rest of the world?

2008-03-30T11:45:00.004+02:00

It's not difficult tying the violence we see in South Africa to the horrific upbringings many poor kids have in South African townships.

But to think that our problems with violence are unique is to ignore the growing trend of mob mad kids in the UK, US, etc. Whether it's the uprisings against Lebanese in Sydney, the anarchy on the streets of Paris, or the kid who makes a UK teacher's work impossible, The kids aren't alright as The Offspring song goes.

Read the horrific article in today's Sunday Times about the chav kid mobs in the UK who are running amok and beating adults to a pulp.

Are we headed for a Lord of the Flies culture? The problem is global. And the solution is not locking up a lost generation as is happening in the US and UK. Certainly many kids are monsters and possibly beyond redemption. They belong in jail.

But ultimately, we have to intervene to ensure no parents are allowed to create psychopathic monsters. How do you do that? Prophylactic injections to stop people convicted of domestic violence from having kids? Reworking social welfare to incentivize fewer and not more kids? Better institutions for orphans?

With an estimated 2 million aids orphans in the care of relative or village elders in South Africa, it is not difficult to see why we are not different, merely worse off.

The Kids Aren't Alright - The Offspring

When we were young the future was so bright (whoa)
The old neighborhood was so alive (whoa)
And every kid on the whole damn street (whoa)
was gonna make it big in every beat.

Now the neighborhood's cracked and torn (whoa)
The kids are grown up but their lives are worn(whoa)
How can one little street
Swallow so many lives?

Chorus:
Chances thrown
Nothing's free
Longing for
What used to be
Still it's hard
Hard to see
Fragile lives
Shattered dreams

Go!

Jamie had a chance, well she really did (whoa)
Instead she dropped out and had a couple of kids (whoa)
Mark still lives at home cause he's got no job (whoa)
Just plays guitar, smokes a lot of pot

Jay commited suicide (whoa)
Brandon OD'd and died (whoa)
What the hell is going on?
Cruelest dream reality

Chances blown, nothing's free
Longing for what used to be
Still, it's hard, hard to see
Fragile lives, shattered dreams

Go!

Chances blown, nothing's free
Longing for what used to be
Still, it's hard, hard to see
Fragile lives, shattered dreams

Is Zuma our OJ Simpson?

2008-03-16T10:29:00.005+02:00

Not for the first time, I was reminded today of the parallels between Zuma in South Africa with OJ Simpson in the States.

I read the rather excellent Guardian piece reprinted in the Mail and Guardian.

The psychology behind popular black support for heroes on trial by what is seen as white establishment is obvious. It is the same warped sense of indentity that causes otherwise reasonable whites to support a white Skierlik murderer or a depraved set of white boys making fun of black workers old enough to be their parents in their Reitz hostel video.

The Guardian article says of the original OJ Simpson Los Angeles trial: "The trial became less about the killings and more about a city's terrible relations with its black population. Occurring not long after the Rodney King riots of 1992, Simpson became a symbol for black power in the face of white authority."

It is not difficult to understand the support for Zuma of those with nothing to lose in South Africa on similar grounds. To them, he represents the black masses marginalised by first the whites and then the connected black elite who appear to have got rich with little regard for those who put them in power. Zuma's guilt of rape or corruption is secondary to the symbolism of taking back power by those in the majority.

This is of course alarming to those who somehow avoid the politics of race and condemn equally the crimes of those who commit them. The reality of a justice blind to race and popularity seems endangered - if it ever existed. The inequality of its application under apartheid would suggest not, and that it is rather an aspiration people hoped for in 1994.

The tale of OJ Simpson offers hope to those. The Gaurdian states: "There has been a fundamental shift in racial attitudes to Simpson. Once, 71% of black Americans believed he was innocent. That's fallen to 40%. It is likely to have collapsed further in the wake of his book. 'A lot of black people have changed their minds. Afterwards he did not try to reach out to them. He just moved to Florida and played golf,' says Manny Otiko, a black cartoonist and comedian."

Already it seems Zuma's support has questioned his willow-bend-in-the-wind poltical posturing.

Perhaps we too are moving towards a day where voters will choose between a woman and a black man based on issues rather than a left / right split.

Do you get artificial toe nails?

2008-02-24T22:01:00.002+02:00

I ask as I'm about to lose one. On my middle toe on my left foot.

I went to a batchelor's party in the bush last night and somehow tripped and ripped off a toenail. Despite the fact that I was wearing shoes.

I have no memory of the incident - it was a sleepover batchelors at a game lodge. And I got nailed in a game of coinage. Bastards.

So I drove back today and went to hospital where the full damage under the blood and gore became clear.

Since even the root got torn out, the doctor reckons there is no chance of the nail regrowing.

I'm very fussy about feet. I find horrid toes and feet a turnoff. So I'm particularly dismayed at my impending mutilation.

Damn.

The only lucky thing is that the doctor reckoned I should be in screaming agony. Yet the pain is bearable. Small mercies.

Is it possible to be friends with your exes?

2008-01-04T21:55:00.000+02:00

It's probably a question we each grapple with.

Often relationships end in argument and I guess when things are on bad terms, it's easier to figure out the answer.

None of my relationships have ended on bad terms - from my side. One ex is a very good friend and it is easy to spend time with her.

Another ex was my perfect girl. We went through periods of tension and not talking. Then she made an effort and visited me on trips to Joburg, etc. Then suddenly no responses to my messages or any contact. Now I hear she is getting married in April. I'm irritated. Does this mean that even though she told me she was not keen, she maintained contact because she was still making up her mind and keeping her options open?

Another ex is my first and only ex boyfriend. Although I've tried to maintain contact, it's proved difficult and so I've moved on.

Perhaps the most difficult has been the realtionship with my best friend. I've known him for 12 years and been in love with him since pretty much the beginning. I told him that about 5 years ago knowing he was straight and there was no hope of anything happening between us. But I knew that the unspoken sexual tension was forcing a wedge between us and I had to be honest if I was to truly be a friend. We hardly spoke for the next three years. But to his credit our friendship is again strong and since he moved back to South Africa we see quite a bit of one another. That does not mean that the feelings I have for him have gone away. And that is tough.

I think that most relationships with exes where there are remnants of attraction would be difficult for this reason. I still believe this is the respective parties' own issue to deal with and part of life. In the case of my best friend, I know for example that the friendship is so valuable that I need to deal with the feelings I have for him.

That is hard and it is reminding me that I do not meet people I am attracted to in all respects very often at all. And that in the cases that I have, they have never had the same feelings for me. It has inspired a mini-depression and loneliness. Damn.

Is Zuma's election a disaster?

2007-12-20T08:57:00.000+02:00

The man is a moron. Let's not beat around the bush. Anyone who states on the witness stand that he took a shower to avoid getting AIDS after unprotected sex is clearly in no shape to run a country.

There is little doubt in my mind that he's also a crook. The courts have already found that Shabir Shaik solicited bribes from arms deal bidders on Zuma's behalf. Shaik has been in jail for some time.

Zuma's supporters say that if there is a case against Zuma, why has he not been jailed? This is a disingenuous defense by a group of left wing proponents who care less about the man they support than those against who he stands. Zuma's lawyers have fought every attempt to get the man in court. Surely if the man is innocent, he would welcome the Mauritian diary of the head of Thint in court? Surely he would not worry about the seizure of his personal documents? After all he has nothing to hide?

Further, the man is an out and out bigot. He explained to an adoring crowd that if a gay man had stood before him when he was young, he would have knocked him out.

Finally, Zuma is a bumbling populist. Don't ask him his policies - just state your desires and beliefs and he'll agree. At this rate South Africa will be the only Capitalist Communist country in the world.

But I do not believe that having Zuma run this country will be a disaster in itself. His political masters are far more frightening. The day after his election, the ANC voted to reintegrate the Scorpions (South Africa's version of the FBI) into the South African Police. This despite the obvious difficulties posed by the current Scorpion investigation of the chief of police for involvement in organised crime. Of course the ANC freely admits that logic had nothing to do with this decision - the Scorpion's investigation of Zuma for corruption had everything to do with it. Apparently their investigations have been manipulated by Mbeki to further his political battles. How will their integration into the police help prevent their manipulation when the head of the SA Police is a political appointee and not a professional policeman?

The Scorpions decision is one thing. Economics is another. The antagonism to inflation targeting by Cosatu (the Congress of South African Trade Unions) and the SACP (the South African Communist Party has followed swiftly on the heels of the election of their man to the head of the Tri-Partite alliance. They have pronounced that inflation must be managed in the context of broad developmental goals and not as an end in itself. This is all well and good, and there is much that can be written about what the inflation targeting range should be based on the factors driving inflation increases in South Africa. But South Africa adopted inflation targeting as a methodology precisely because the fuzzy interpretation of multiple objectives resulted in continued misalignment with the markets and wild swings in the key economic indicators.

Most economists will appreciate that cost push inflation cannot be targeted by interest rate adjustments. Fine. Then modify the targeting metric (CPIX - consumer price inflation less interest) to also exclude oil/petrol. What I am saying is don't through the baby out with the bath water.

Further there is some debate as to whether the 3% to 6% inflation target range is too low for South Africa - a developing country. The Philips curve demonstrates a trade off between inflation and employment. The lower the inflation rate, the higher the rate of unemployment. The precise relationship varies from country to country. Again, this is all well and good, but then debate the range, don't through out the most successful inflation management methodology yet seen in the world.

But the most frightening news was that of a debate that took place yesterday on nationalisation. Delegates to the ANC conference raised the possibility of nationalising Mittal Steel. Mittal bought ISCOR - an old parastatal - and gradually rebuilt an inefficient dirty apartheid era entity. Since then they have been found guilty of anti-competitive behaviour, charging import parity prices and benefiting from a monopoly position. However, they are now a top quartile low cost steel producer. The competition watchdog found them guilty of price fixing and fined them a substantial amount. That's how markets should work. Workers want them renationalised however. This together with the debate on shopping malls and their impac on traders in the townships. The focus here is jobs - or more specifically the mandate of Cosatu and the SACP.

And to me this is the danger of Zuma's presidency. He is beholden to the left. They voted him in and the ANC executive is now loaded with their sympathisers. There is almost a conflict of interests here. Cosatu and the SACP's focus is jobs for their members and the highest wages they can get. This is one part of the economy and has all the potential to ignite a wage price spiral. On a productivity / skill equivalent basis, South Africa has a tragically uncompetitive labour force. In order to create growth, grow exports, reduce the current account deficit, etc we have to increase output per rand of wages. To focus merely on the jobs and wages side of the equation ignores the prices paid by the consumer and the inevitable loss of competitiveness. Our textile industry offers the perfect case study. Which is more valuable - low price clothing for the poor or higher wages for textile workers? The first part of that debate is consistently ignored by trade unions. However, the impact of rising prices and the need for further increases in wages is not. Hence the wage price spiral.

In fact, unions prefer higher inflation as it allows them to negotiate higher nominal wage increases and they are then seen as having achieved more by their members. Witness the mass hysteria about single figure percentage increases in wages in the low inflation environment of the past decade. This illustrates perfectly why it takes many years to decrease wage push inflation.

One remarkable quote from that the above article:

A delegate to the commission said the minister and other senior leaders in the economics sphere do not explain why they do not agree with delegates’ suggestions for the re-nationalisation as well as a national state-owned mining company.

“The delegates felt it is needed because it would enable them to redistribute resources. But Mphalwa did not explain their reasons for opposing it properly. They might have access to information and obviously know more about international trends, but they don’t explain it to us.”

This is the legacy of the Mbeki years. Decision making in an aloof manner that has done nothing to build a shared understanding of good economic practice. If we are to recreate the South Korean miracle, there is much work to be done in educating the masses and aligning the nation.

The following sensible conclusion demonstrates that this is possible:

“People are seeing the mushrooming of shopping complexes coming up in townships and that is a negative thing because it is pushing out the small businesses and general dealers. But now there are Chinese and Pakistani people, coming in and taking over the small businesses and making a success of them.

“Where does the problem lie? Obviously there is a lack of skills and that might rather be the problem, not the fact that the big shops are coming up. Also, people these days don’t want general dealers, they want specialised shops, so that also takes them away from the general dealers,” the delegate said.

Are friends who don't call, friends?

2007-12-12T22:31:00.000+02:00

I've written about this before.

I'm lucky - I have lots of friends. I had a great Italian evening this last Sunday where I cooked for 12 friends - it was great fun and good to be with so many people I know.

But so many "friends" are so lousy at keeping in contact. I invite them to meet up and hear nothing more from them.

Well, my focus is on those who want to be around me from now on. The others who hear less from me? I'll touch base now and again, but they can assume from the less effort on my part that I have taken their lack of interest as meaning they regard me as peripheral. And hence I will do the same.

Who is to blame for South Africa's power crisis?

2007-12-12T21:15:00.000+02:00

Very few people aren't hot under the collar about load shedding in South Africa. Load shedding occurs when power supply cannot meet demand and customers are cut off to prevent brown outs and black outs.

As someone who has worked as a consultant to the industry I've had to bight my tongue as to the real reasons behind the problems. But it seems the government is now admitting to the problem (see the article below and more here).

Indeed the government did ignore Eskom requests to build more generation capacity. And as such the country will be short of capacity for at least another 4 years.

Further, the reason they ignored the requests was due to consultants who sold the government on the idea that the South African market should be liberalised (open to competition). Until that happened, Eskom's right to build was taken away. New entrants would build the power generation capacity in a market with the lowest electricity prices in the world - prices that could not cover their costs of capital.

Further, the government then adopted an inflation targeting regime. Applications for electricity price increases outside of the government's inflation targeting range were greeted with howls of protest and derision.

Further still, we have a de facto industrial policy that exports electricity though high energy input manufactured items such as aluminum smelting and mining. One aluminum smelter consumes as much electricity as a city the size of Port Elizabeth. The recent efforts to get an aluminum smelter as anchor tenant for the Coega industrial complex in the Eastern Cape completely ignored the fact that our power prices need to rise substantially to cover the costs of capital of new power stations and the supply crunch we currently suffer.

Neither liberalisation nor inflation targeting are bad policies. However, as with most things in life, adopting a polar position ignores the realities. Overzealous liberalisation contributed to power outages all over the world, including the California and US East Coast crises. Investment decisions are typically based on 5 to 10 year paybacks. Electricity planning requires at least a 20 year horizon. A major power station takes from 10 to 15 years to plan and build. For this reason, private enterprises seldom invest enough or in time to ensure uninterrupted electricity supply.

I have sympathy for the guys at Eskom right now. It will continue to be a thankless task working there over the next 5 years. Their planners knew we were running out of electricity but were held back from building new capacity.

Many who love to criticise anything post-apartheid have been joined by millions of other suffering South Africans pointing fingers and claiming that only morons could have got us into this situation.

I'd point directly at the various consultants who earned hundreds of millions promoting new build policies that ignored the coming supply crunch. Of course the decision makers at the Department of Mineral and Energy (DME) aren't much further behind in the blame queue - they listened.

In the mean time, this is costing the economy and me a fortune. I shelled out about R7000 (US $1000) for a UPS a while back to keep my business computer server going during interruptions. Given the duration of interruptions (this week two scheduled interruptions of 2 and a half hours each), the UPS is not enough. I've been busy with a project to extend my pond and pumphouse and so have built a generator room. My next expense is to rewire my house for automated power switchover to generator on a power outage and a generator itself. That is going to cost a fortune. The next expense will be for diesel to keep the thing running.

Goverment ignored Eskom pleas
Dec 12 2007 11:25 AM

Johannesburg - President Thabo Mbeki has acknowledged that government under-investment is to blame for a growing number of power cuts that have plunged large parts of the country into darkness.

Addressing a fund-raising dinner for the ruling African National Congress night, Mbeki said his government should have heeded pleas by state power utility Eskom several years ago to invest more in electricity generation to keep up with country's economic growth.

"When Eskom said to the government: 'We think we must invest more in terms of electricity generation', we said no, but all you will be doing is just to build excess capacity," Mbeki said in comments broadcast on public radio.

"We said not now, later. We were wrong. Eskom was right. We were wrong."

Mbeki's rare public apology comes at a time when the country is experiencing the worst power cuts in years, forcing Eskom to start rationing electricity this week as part of a programme that should last until the end of the week.

The rationing has led to a raft of complaints from businesses and retailers in the build-up to Christmas, while traffic jams are a common sight with many traffics lights out of action.

- AFP

Can you tell a story?

2007-12-04T22:12:00.000+02:00

Someone shared something they had written with me today and it reminded me of an Oscar Wilde short story.

Telling a story is a gift. This one contains every talent I could wish for in the art.

From CELT: The Corpus of Electronic Texts

The Nightingale and the Rose (Author: Oscar Wilde)

`SHE said that she would dance with me if I brought her red roses,' cried the young Student; `but in all my garden there is no red rose.'

From her nest in the holm-oak tree the Nightingale heard him, and she looked out through the leaves, and wondered.

`No red rose in all my garden!' he cried, and his beautiful eyes filled with tears. `Ah, on what little things does happiness depend! I have read all that the wise men have written, and all the secrets of philosophy are mine, yet for want of a red rose is my life made wretched.'

`Here at last is a true lover,' said the Nightingale. `Night after night have I sung of him, though I knew him not: night after night have I told his story to the stars, and now I see him. His hair is dark as the hyacinth-blossom, and his lips are red as the rose of his desire; but passion has made his lace like pale ivory, and sorrow has set her seal upon his brow.'

`The Prince gives a ball to-morrow night,' murmured the young Student, `and my love will be of the company. If I bring her a red rose she will dance with me till dawn. If I bring her a red rose, I shall hold her in my arms, and she will lean her head upon my shoulder, and her hand will be clasped in mine. But there is no red rose in my garden, so I shall sit lonely, and she will pass me by. She will have no heed of me, and my heart will break.'

`Here indeed is the true lover,' said the Nightingale. `What I sing of he suffers: what is joy to me, to him is pain. Surely Love is a wonderful thing. It is more precious than emeralds, and dearer than fine opals. Pearls and pomegranates cannot buy it, nor is it set forth in the market-place. it may not be purchased of the merchants, nor can it be weighed out in the balance for gold.'

`The musicians will sit in their gallery,' said the young Student, `and play upon their stringed instruments, and my love will dance to the sound of the harp and the violin. She will dance so lightly that her feet will not touch the floor, and the courtiers in their gay dresses will throng round her. But with me she will not dance, for I have no red rose to give her;' and he flung himself down on the grass, and buried his face in his hands, and wept.

`Why is he weeping?' asked a little Green Lizard, as he ran past him with his tail in the air.

`Why, indeed?' said a Butterfly, who was fluttering about after a sunbeam.

`Why, indeed?' whispered a Daisy to his neighbour, in a soft, low voice.

`He is weeping for a red rose,' said the Nightingale.

`For a red rose!' they cried; `how very ridiculous!' and the little Lizard, who was something of a cynic, laughed outright.

But the Nightingale understood the secret of the Student's sorrow, and she sat silent in the oak-tree, and thought about the mystery of Love.

Suddenly she spread her brown wings for flight, and soared into the air. She passed through the grove like a shadow, and like a shadow she sailed across the garden.

In the centre of the grass-plot was standing a beautiful Rose-tree, and when she saw it, she flew over to it, and lit upon a spray.

`Give me a red rose,' she cried, `and I will sing you my sweetest song.'

But the Tree shook its head.

`My roses are white,' it answered; `as white as the foam of the sea, and whiter than the snow upon the mountain. But go to my brother who grows round the old sun-dial, and perhaps he will give you what you want.'

So the Nightingale flew over to the Rose-tree that was growing round the old sun-dial.

`Give me a red rose,' she cried, `and I will sing you my sweetest song.'

But the Tree shook its head.

`My roses are yellow,' it answered; `as yellow as the hair of the mermaiden who sits upon an amber throne, and yellower than the daffodil that blooms in the meadow before the mower comes with his scythe. But go to my brother who grows beneath the Student's window, and perhaps he will give you what you want.'

So the Nightingale flew over to the Rose-tree that was growing beneath the Student's window.

`Give me a red rose,' she cried, `and I will sing you my sweetest song.'

But the Tree shook its head.

`My roses are red,' it answered, `as red as the feet of the dove, and redder than the great fans of coral that wave and wave in the ocean-cavern. But the winter has chilled my veins, and the frost has nipped my buds, and the storm has broken my branches, and I shall have no roses at all this year.'

`One red rose is all I want,' cried the Nightingale, `only one red rose! Is there no way by which I can get it?'

`There is a way,' answered the Tree; `but it is so terrible that I dare not tell it to you.'

`Tell it to me,' said the Nightingale, `I am not afraid.'

`If you want a red rose,' said the Tree, `you must build it out of music by moonlight, and stain it with your own heart's-blood. You must sing to me with your breast against a thorn. All night long you must sing to me, and the thorn must pierce your heart, and your life-blood must flow into my veins, and become mine.'

`Death is a great price to pay for a red rose,' cried the Nightingale, `and Life is very dear to all. It is pleasant to sit in the green wood, and to watch the Sun in his chariot of gold, and the Moon in her chariot of pearl. Sweet is the scent of the hawthorn, and sweet are the bluebells that hide in the valley, and the heather that blows on the hill. Yet Love is better than Life, and what is the heart of a bird compared to the heart of a man?'

So she spread her brown wings for flight, and soared into the air. She swept over the garden like a shadow, and like a shadow she sailed through the grove.

The young Student was still lying on the grass, where she had left him, and the tears were not yet dry in his beautiful eyes.

`Be happy,' cried the Nightingale, `be happy; you shall have your red rose. I will build it out of music by moonlight, and stain it with my own heart's-blood. All that I ask of you in return is that you will be a true lover, for Love is wiser than Philosophy, though she is wise, and mightier than Power, though he is mighty. Flame-coloured are his wings, and coloured like flame is his body. His lips are sweet as honey, and his breath is like frankincense.'

The Student looked up from the grass, and listened, but he could not understand what the Nightingale was saying to him, for he only knew the things that are written down in books.

But the Oak-tree understood, and felt sad, for he was very fond of the little Nightingale who had built her nest in his branches.

`Sing me one last song,' he whispered; `I shall feel very lonely when you are gone.'

So the Nightingale sang to the Oak-tree, and her voice was like water bubbling from a silver jar.

When she had finished her song the Student got up, and pulled a note-book and a lead-pencil out of his pocket.

`She has form,' he said to himself, as he walked away through the grove---`that cannot be denied to her; but has she got feeling? I am afraid not. In fact, she is like most artists; she is all style, without any sincerity. She would not sacrifice herself for others. She thinks merely of music, and everybody knows that the arts are selfish. Still, it must be admitted that she has some beautiful notes in her voice. What a pity it is that they do not mean anything, or do any practical good.' And he went into his room, and lay down on his little pallet-bed, and began to think of his love; and, after a time, he fell asleep.

And when the Moon shone in the heavens the Nightingale flew to the Rose-tree, and set her breast against the thorn. All night long she sang with her breast against the thorn, and the cold crystal Moon leaned down and listened. All night long she sang, and the thorn went deeper and deeper into her breast, and her life-blood ebbed away from her.

She sang first of the birth of love in the heart of a boy and a girl. And on the topmost spray of the Rose-tree there blossomed a marvellous rose, petal following petal, as song followed song. Pale was it, at first, as the mist that hangs over the river---pale as the feet of the morning, and silver as the wings of the dawn. As the shadow of a rose in a mirror of silver, as the shadow of a rose in a water-pool, so was the rose that blossomed on the topmost spray of the Tree.

But the Tree cried to the Nightingale to press closer against the thorn. `Press closer, little Nightingale,' cried the Tree, `or the Day will come before the rose is finished.'

So the Nightingale pressed closer against the thorn, and louder and louder grew her song, for she sang of the birth of passion in the soul of a man and a maid.

And a delicate flush of pink came into the leaves of the rose, like the flush in the face of the bridegroom when he kisses the lips of the bride. But the thorn had not yet reached her heart, so the rose's heart remained white, for only a Nightingale's heart's-blood can crimson the heart of a rose.

And the Tree cried to the Nightingale to press closer against the thorn. `Press closer, little Nightingale,' cried the Tree, `or the Day will come before the rose is finished.'

So the Nightingale pressed closer against the thorn, and the thorn touched her heart, and a fierce pang of pain shot through her. Bitter, bitter was the pain, and wilder and wilder grew her song, for she sang of the Love that is perfected by Death, of the Love that dies not in the tomb.

And the marvellous rose became crimson, like the rose of the eastern sky. Crimson was the girdle of petals, and crimson as a ruby was the heart.

But the Nightingale's voice grew fainter, and her little wings began to beat, and a film came over her eyes. Fainter and fainter grew her song, and she felt something choking her in her throat.

Then she gave one last burst of music. The white Moon heard it, and she forgot the dawn, and lingered on in the sky. The red rose heard it, and it trembled all over with ecstasy, and opened its petals to the cold morning air. Echo bore it to her purple cavern in the hills, and woke the sleeping shepherds from their dreams. It floated through the reeds of the river, and they carried its message to the sea.

`Look, look!' cried the Tree, `the rose is finished now;' but the Nightingale made no answer, for she was lying dead in the long grass, with the thorn in her heart.

And at noon the Student opened his window and looked out.

`Why, what a wonderful piece of luck!' he cried; `here is a red rose! I have never seen any rose like it in all my life. It is so beautiful that I am sure it has a long Latin name;' and he leaned down and plucked it.

Then he put on his hat, and ran up to the Professor's house with the rose in his hand.

The daughter of the Professor was sitting in the doorway winding blue silk on a reel, and her little dog was lying at her feet.

`You said that you would dance with me if I brought you a red rose,' cried the Student. `Here is the reddest rose in all the world.

You will wear it to-night next your heart, and as we dance together it will tell you how I love you.'

But the girl frowned.

`I am afraid it will not go with my dress,' she answered; `and, besides, the Chamberlain's nephew has sent me some real jewels, and everybody knows that jewels cost far more than flowers.'

`Well, upon my word, you are very ungrateful,' said the Student angrily; and he threw the rose into the street, where it fell into the gutter, and a cart-wheel went over it.

`Ungrateful!' said the girl. `I tell you what, you are very rude; and, after all, who are you? Only a Student. Why, I don't believe you have even got silver buckles to your shoes as the Chamberlain's nephew has;' and she got up from her chair and went into the house.

`What a silly thing Love is,' said the Student as he walked away. `It is not half as useful as Logic, for it does not prove anything, and it is always telling one of things that are not going to happen, and making one believe things that are not true. In fact, it is quite unpractical, and, as in this age to be practical is everything, I shall go back to Philosophy and study Metaphysics.'

So he returned to his room and pulled out a great dusty book, and began to read.

What should South Africa do about unskilled migrant labour?

2007-11-27T21:36:00.000+02:00

I'm doing some renovations on my pond at the moment. Which has been a nightmare and story in itself. It took 4 months to find a contractor. In a city of 8 million people, you'd think finding a koi pond contractor should be relatively easy. After all it's hardly rocket science. However I fired many potential contractors before I even got their quotes. Others told me they had a six month backlog. And others apparently don't bother unless your koi pond has multi-million rand potential. But finally I found someone who is apparently reliable and available. So now I have a two metre deep hole in my garden.

The labourers working on the hole initially consisted of one South African and two Zimbabwean refugees. The Zimabaweans could hardly speak English and were hardly productive. And they lived in Krugersdorp which meant it took them about 3 hours to get to work in the morning.

With over 40% of South Africans unskilled an unemployed, should we be taking on Zimbabweans or any other refugees? They are typically exploited and many building contractors pay them less than R20 (US$3) per day. They can't afford transport on these wages and end up squatting on vacant land or river banks in the cities. R20 will buy you a loaf of bread and a litre of milk.

While all this is going on, our world cup stadium workers have been striking for bonuses double their current level. I understand they earn R2 200 per month (just over US $300) and have demanded bonuses of R1 500 per month. This may not seem like a lot. However, in a global economy, we're competing with Chinese workers earning less than a third of that. Which is why our textile industry just cannot compete.

Of course one might argue that Chinese markets are distorted by human rights abuses, etc. While this might be true, every cent inflated due to protectionism comes out of the South African consumers' pockets (illustrated through the economic concept known as a deadweight loss).

South Africa's only long term solution is to raise levels of skill. The short term solution of deflating the Rand will merely result in inflationary pressures due to imported goods and thereafter a potential wage price spiral. Sadly it takes generations to move from uneducated unskilled labour to sophisticated engineering and manufacturing economies like those of Korea. Although the South Korean story is truly inspirational - it moved from a largely agricultural economy to a world engineering and manufacturing leader in little over 40 years.

But back to those Zimbabweans. They took jobs that any unskilled South African worker could have performed. In contrast, a friend who married an Australian teacher was forced to emigrate because she could not get a work permit in South Africa. There is a shortage of teacher's in South Africa. Their staying in the country would have resulted in a multiplier effect of spending and job creation for lower skilled workers (each higher income worker creates between 3 and 5 lower income jobs in South Africa).

Instead they left, costing the economy two skilled workers who are in short supply. And the income they earned that would have been spent and created lower skilled jobs. And we have workers flooding across the border and taking jobs from workers we have in excess supply.

Pretty screwed up. Frankly I believe the problem is that we have a government that feels unable to criticise or refuse demands from other African states. Switching on the electric fence along our border (turned off in 1994 due to the number of deaths of illegal immigrants), forcing Zimbabwean regime change and refusing unskilled immigration and refugees are unpalatable to a government that sees criticising other African / non-western nations as a betrayal.

Our mines are full of migrant workers from neighbouring states. This is a legacy from apartheid days where migrant labour provided a means of keeping wages low. To some extent it is understandable that former liberation movements feel unable to slam the door shut.

It is distressing though that our labour department postures with an apparently frivolous complaint against Comair and our major trade union grouping Cosatu is arguing against tighter immigration laws. Surely time and effort would be better spent inspecting building sites, farms, etc and ensuring workers are properly accredited with South African residence and work permits.

I wonder what our unemployed South African workers think?

Should I kill him?

2007-11-19T21:38:00.000+02:00

So you know when you're on IoL and they have a picture of a person from IoL Dating on the right hand side of the home page?

Other day this bloke caught my eye. Jeez, very much the type of guy that... I fall for some woman and some guys.

Anyway, so I start chatting through my Datingbuzz subscription. He's 26, a pilot and owns two planes through his inheritance. His photos range from cute with some borderline steamy. I give him my number and we start chatting on the phone. I tell him he sounds older...

Nevermind, continue chatting and then some more photos go up - pretty borderline! But he is frikkin good looking and is soon the number one most popular profile on Datingbuzz (the platform behind IoL Dating and a number of other dating sites). He seems nice and he knows I was interested before those steamy pics.

Having learnt my lesson from online dating in the past, I request a coffee before I waste my time for too long (lessons? Frikkin wierdos in real life...)

Day of the proposed meeting his profile disappears and I hear nothing. I leave a message on his phone and am irritated. Then I notice another bloke has favourited me and lives in the same area as previous guy. Except he is 40 and looks less than average.

2+2=...

I send a message to new fan saying "You're ... aren't you?"

I get a message back, "I'd love to answer but I haven't got a subscription yet."

I get a call from the missing person over the weekend. "My new fan is you isn't it?" I ask. Pause. "You're very clever..."

Farkin hell. If he was in front of me I'd have decked him. I keep my cool and ask what the fuck he thinks he's doing. "Hey IITQ, I told you the truth about everything except my photos."

"And your age?"

"Well that too, but everything else..."

"So where on earth did you think this would go?"

"I didn't want to attract someone because I'm a porn star or for my money, or..."

"So you thought an entirely different persona would help?"

"Look if you don't want to continue this I promise not to stalk you or anything... I'll delete your number and you'll never hear from me again."

"Good idea. Goodbye."

Jeez, I must be jaded. Inside I wanted to rip the fucker's head off. And I just said goodbye.

That's it. I don't think their is another vaguely normal person on Datingbuzz. I am too good to be true.

Is this you - your photo was used on someone else's dating profile. Of course, it's just as likely you were pinched from some porno...

A ray of hope? - Part II

2007-11-11T10:57:00.000+02:00

Let's hope this is.

The plague that is sweeping this country needs some serious action.

It's war on crime

November 11 2007 at 08:55AM

By Angela Quintal

A radical overhaul of the country's dysfunctional criminal justice system will see at least one out of every four police officers a detective, will boost incentives to attract and retain skilled investigators and will improve facilities and crime-busting equipment.

The government seems ready to spend whatever it takes to turn the tide on crime.

The far-reaching plan, to come into effect within months, will also beef up police forensic services, pay prosecutors far more and drastically change criminal court processes to avoid delays - including making sure that the cases that go to court are ready for trial.

A seven-point strategy approved by the cabinet this week goes to the heart of the problems in the criminal justice system.

The new plan, influenced by a British review of that country's criminal justice system, intends to empower those at the coalface - with crime-battered citizens the ultimate winners.

It aims for quick, equitable and fair criminal justice that has the confidence of the public and impacts massively on crime.

The plan will be refined at the January cabinet lekgotla and its details will be announced by President Thabo Mbeki in his penultimate state of the nation address in February as he opens parliament.

The seven-point strategy will have huge organisational and budget implications.

The blueprint has the support of big business, which was intimately involved in planning the new strategy through Mbeki's big business working group and the Anti-Crime Initiative.

Earlier this week, Johnny de Lange, the deputy justice minister, told reporters that it was no longer a matter of tinkering with the problems. Instead, the government was looking at a fundamental transformation of the system as a whole.

The president is understood to be keen to leave a legacy in which, instead of being seen as a crime denialist, he is remembered as the reformer of an old-fashioned and dysfunctional system.

Part of the strategy relates to empowering those at the coalface to do their jobs. This would include improving the lot of detectives, prosecutors and forensic experts, among others. It involves, for example, a major programme of capacity building in the police detective services.

At present, only 14,2 percent (22 519 members) of the 158 000-strong police force are detectives. The plan is to increase their numbers to at least 25 percent and eventually a third of the total force.

There will also be an increase in facilities and equipment, given that there are only 6 513 vehicles, 3 505 computers and 1 879 cellphones for 22 519 detectives.

There is also a commitment to attract and retain experienced detectives and attract graduates. The detective service must become "the preferred or sought-after employment option in the SAPS", according to a presentation by De Lange to the cabinet this week.

The government agreed with unions that there would be pay parity in the SAPS. However, an occupation-specific dispensation now seems to be on the cards.

This would include:

# The introduction of salary incentives to attract and retain a new breed of skilled detective by, for example, providing a specialised career path and an attractive monthly allowance;

# The creation of new senior detective posts in designated courts in cities and large towns to oversee the quality of investigations and the "sifting" of trial-ready dockets;

# The creation of new posts of legally qualified officers in the detective services to advise detectives, thereby improving the quality of investigations; and

# Expedited and appropriate training programmes.

The forensic services of the SAPS and the health department will also receive attention, with substantial increases in numbers, improved facilities and equipment and the possibility of an occupation-specific dispensation.

According to figures supplied to the cabinet, nationally the police have only 1 691 forensic experts operating from 91 offices around the country.

They are responsible for gathering evidence at all crime scenes, which could include DNA, ballistics, fingerprints, crime-scene mapping and photography.

They also analyse fingerprints, but all other materials are sent to the national office, where 923 forensic experts analyse samples from all crime scenes.

To compound the situation, the health department employs only 58 forensic analysts to deal with the analysis of alcohol or drug concentration in blood.

There is a massive backlog of alcohol tests in some centres, numbering 12 028 in Cape Town and 7 721 in Johannesburg, which has led to a huge number of criminal cases being struck off the court roll.

Similarly, toxicology has a large backlog, with 2 359 cases outstanding in Cape Town, 3 331 in Johannesburg and 1 536 in Pretoria.

Other priority action includes the National Prosecuting Authority, where the vacancy rate for experienced prosecutors stands at 23 percent.

Key to addressing this would be to deal with the huge salary discrepancies between magistrates and prosecutors, the cabinet report says.

Another strategy highlighted by De Lange this week will be the transformation of criminal court processes to ensure that these are focused on trials rather than time-consuming administrative actions such as postponements.

o This article was originally published on page 1 of Sunday Independent on November 11, 2007

Who will make the South African crime movie?

2007-10-18T00:17:00.000+02:00

"The Brave One" is currently showing at cinemas around the world. Somewhat controversial, it tells the story of a vigilante response to a violent assault and murder. It stars Jodie Foster and I looked forward to a relevant thought provoking story about crime and punishment. Sadly I was disappointed.

Two of the best movies I have ever seen, let alone about crime, are "Traffic" starring Micheal Douglas and "Man on Fire" starring Denzel Washington. The latter is, in my opinion, one of the most finely produced movies of our time. Tony Scott combines with Washington, Dakota Fanning, Christopher Walken, musical maestro Hans Zimmer and the haunting Lisa Gerrard. These movies are violent and Man on Fire is disturbingly so. But the story is so gripping, everything has its place.

"The Brave One" suffers for this reason. I wondered why it was worth making? Was it a story worth telling?

South Africa needs someone to tell its crime story. Just as Man on Fire is not unpatriotic about Mexico, neither would a warts and all story about South Africa's problems and complexities be.

Stories have been told for centuries. Those that are worthwhile have sought to make sense of the nonsensical. In ancient times these stories may have described the mysterious as mythical, the complex as supernatural. Stories gave reason to the unreasonable, basis to that which played at our thoughts.

As we seek the diversion of a rugby world cup win, as we seek an outlet for our pride and love for this country, some people's lives have been ripped to shreds by the scourge that plagues South Africa.

From News24: A security company called Gideon Odendaal of Pretoria at 16:39 on Tuesday afternoon to inform him that there were problems at his home in Lynnwood Manor.

Odendaal, who was in the Western Cape, phoned home but nobody answered. He then tried to call his wife Kathy's cellphone number, but she didn't answer.

The domestic worker eventually answered her cellphone and all she was able to say was "They're busy hurting her."

Soon after that, Kathy Odendaal, 51, was murdered in her house in Farnham Street by armed attackers who had first raped her.

From IoL: Cathy Odendaal was apparently tortured, sexually assaulted and then murdered by the four-man gang who have been terrorising Pretoria.

But in an unusual mobilisation of forces on Tuesday night, members of the community, along with a group of construction workers from Mamelodi, rallied together to hunt down the alleged culprits.

Two men who were found in possession of an unlicensed handgun and jewellery belonging to Odendaal were arrested - one of them, who was wearing a Springbok jersey, was seriously hurt after being subdued by the workers.

Construction worker Vusi Sithole, who was driving with his brother Johannes and neighbour Colbert Novela, said that as they drove towards Mamelodi they spotted a man holding a woman around the throat. He was wearing a Springbok jersey.

Chasing after him, the three escaped with their lives after the man, who had hidden behind a clump of bushes in Cedar Street, leapt at their truck, pushed a gun into the driving compartment and opened fire.

Novela had a spade with him and managed to push the spade against the gun, deflecting the bullet.

The three men pushing the man from the truck and attacked him with the spade and a rock, overpowering him before stopping a passing police patrol.

Sithole burst into tears on hearing of Odendaal's murder.

"If only we could have done something to save her. I wish we could have caught the man before he killed that lady," he said.

From News24: The woman's son arrived on his scooter at his mother's home, at about 20:00 on Tuesday night.

He had not yet been informed of the attack.

"What's going on here? Is everything all right? Is my mom OK? Tell me, tell me?!" he wanted to know.

When a policeman told him that his mother had died, he burst into tears and cried in the policeman's arms.

Beeld heard that the woman's husband was in Cape Town. Her daughter had not yet been informed of her mother's death.

Again from News24: Members of the police forensics unit were fine-combing the Odendaal home on Wednesday morning for leads.

While the police were conducting their search, Marlize Odendaal, the victim's daughter, arrived at the house.

She was in the Kruger National Park when her mother was murdered.

Marlize sat on the pavement outside and just stared at the house.

"It's terrible, what happened to my mother," she said.

A third man has been arrested for the Odendaal murder after assistance by the Mamelodi community. The three suspects have been linked to the shooting of a three year old neighbor to the Odendaals this last weekend in addition to a host of other crimes.

Meanwhile, Ryan Holmes, a 22-year-old Tukkies student who was shot during a hijacking some weeks back remains in a coma.

You can be sure the Odendaal and Holmes families will never recover from these tragedies.

To appreciate some of the agony that victims go through, consider the exceptional case of Seiso Ratsoana. From the Sunday Times:

In August last year, two boys — then aged 12 and 11, I’ve been told — locked themselves in a house in Mabopane, outside Pretoria, with Seiso, who was then a year and 10 months old.

They poured boiling water over Seiso’s head and his groin. They used a knife to peel off parts of his scalp as his skin flaked. They pushed nails through his tongue.

They rubbed chilli into his wounds and into his rectum. They stuffed his mouth with pills to stop him screaming.

When Seiso’s rescuers finally broke into the house, the boys were apparently preparing to pour boiling oil over him and hack off the soles of his feet.

...

Debbie, a young volunteer at the Children of Fire, takes Seiso to Milpark Hospital every day to have the dressings on his groin changed. The risk of infection is considerable; Seiso is not toilet trained, his bandages are often soaked in urine.

...

“Nurse comes in at 10.30. Debbie holds torso down. I hold his legs down. Nurse starts cutting staples. Seiso screams. Writhes in agony. Screams louder. Nurse continues cutting. Seiso screams louder. More cuts. More blood. Another nurse comes in. She takes over from me holding legs down. I go to bathroom. Debbie and I agree afterwards that the doctor should be there next time to see how well the Stopayne f***ing works.”

I cried when I read this story. It is not the only child tortured. In the North West province last year, robbers burnt a child with molten wax in attempts to get his parents to tell them where money and guns were. And of course many other people including the aged have been similarly tortured with boiling water, etc.

But Seiso Ratsoana's story is something else. I try to imagine his pain. No matter what pain I've been through it just cannot compare to a little boy who does not even have muscles in his groin left from the burns administered to him. Imagine a little boy who possibly has no memory of a life without pain. And who knows it was someone else that did this to him.

What creates a 12 year old psychopath? Why do we have people growing up to be monsters? Psychopathy is incurable. Psychologists will tell you they suspect that South Africa produces these monsters at an unmatched rate.

I am currently reading Anthony Altbeker's "A Country At War With Itself." It is interesting, but so far I'm short on answers as to the psychology behind South African violent crime.

It would make a story worth telling. Not as a documentary, but a personal story set in South Africa.

A ray of hope?

2007-09-23T20:27:00.000+02:00

Breaking news says that a crime plan presented to President Mbeki has him excited.

A key recommendation in the report is that the police force needs to increase the number of detectives by 30 000. In a country with the most overloaded detectives in the world (most crime dockets do not get investigated due to the workload), this must make sense.

Our courts are partly overloaded due to poor detective work, but catching more crooks will mean more court work. Let's hope the plan addresses that too. Our hopelessly overloaded prisons need expanding too - not early release programmes.

But I'm excited at acknowledgment of the problem and President Mbeki's response. When he was told it could be costly, Mbeki reportedly said: "It is good, let us go and find the money."

Do you read the news, President Mbeki?

2007-09-07T18:25:00.000+02:00

We know you browse the Internet. It is how you reportedly came up with some of your crackpot ideas on HIV and AIDS.

I wonder if you ever browse the online newspapers? Reading the actual homepages of News24, IoL, iAfrica and the Mail & Guardian will give you a hint of the horrific day-to-day crime affecting ordinary South Africans.

But subscribing to their RSS feeds will lay bare the true scale and horror of what people face each day. I am sure someone in the civil service will be able to show you how to access the RSS feeds. If not, just comment on this blog entry and I'll pop round and give you a hand.

Each day I browse through the headlines appearing in the feeds through Bloglines. It is a different experience to browsing the front pages. Because most of these stories don't make the front pages anymore.

I fought against the CrimeExpo website because I disagreed with its stated intention of scaring of tourists and shaming South Africa. Also, it used fraudulent images and sensationalism to make its point.

I have tried to be involved in fighting crime, giving up substantial income to be involved. I am looking for other ways to make this involvement work.

I have had many opportunities to emigrate over the years and yet remain here.

I have recently had an intruder in my home and chased him off. I remain committed to this country.

But I perceive a paranoia in acknowledging crime as a critical issue. Of course the government is trying. And of course you acknowledge it as an issue. But continued comments show a detachment and denial. You once said in an interview at the SABC in Auckland Park, "It is not like if I walk outside here in Auckland Park I will get shot." A few weeks later a man was shot on the streets in Auckland Park.

You have mentioned crime statistics of London to demonstrate that crime is worse elsewhere. Whether there are more murders per capita in Ecuador or Columbia is not the point. One can also point to the fact that while Calcutta is one of the poorest cities in the world, it is a relatively safe place with low crime rates.

The point is that that until crime is sufficiently rare that any of the headlines below are greeted with disgust and shock - not weary sadness - crime must be declared a national emergency.

A selection of those headlines from the last few days:

The couple in happier times. (Beeld)

Woman finds dead fiance

A young woman who became worried when she did not hear from her fiancé, set out to look for him and accidentally stumbled onto the Midrand scene where he had been shot dead.

But in a cruel twist, it appeared that her fiancé had been killed by the same robbers who had hijacked her car ten days before.

Gang-rape teens still at large

Mpumalanga police are still searching for five teenagers who were part of a gang that raped a 20-year-old woman. Three teenagers aged 15, 16 and 17 were arrested in Mafube village near Balfour and appeared in Balfour Magistrate's Court on Monday.

KZN farm manager attacked

Michael Coppard, a manager at the farm, near Howick, and his wife Joan were confronted on Wednesday by two casual labourers who requested permanent employment. The men then produced an axe and a knife and threatened to attack them. The attackers made off with R1 300, their cellphones, bank cards, electrical appliances and their bakkie.

Pupils arrested for alleged armed robbery

Four pupils aged between 16 and 18 were arrested for armed robbery in Vanderbijlpark outside Johannesburg. The pupils were arrested after they allegedly robbed people of their cellphones at gunpoint.

Mom, dad, face rape charges

A Parow couple, charged with raping and indecently assaulting their own daughter over a period of 10 years, appeared in the Bellville Magistrate's Court on Thursday.

'I smeared mud on her genitals'

A 21-year-old man was convicted of the rape, murder and robbery of his pregnant aunt after changing his plea to guilty in the Grahamstown High Court on Thursday. Themba Ngxokongxa, of Sivwe, Komga, admitted that he had intentionally assaulted, raped, and murdered Sindiswa Kalani, 30, and then robbed her of R13 and her identity document.

Ammunition 'heist cop' in court

Mabutana Richards Msibi, a metro police officer, appeared briefly before Magistrate Samuel Mashimbye in the Germiston Magistrate's Court on Wednesday on charges of possessing ammunition and an unlicensed firearm. Msibi was arrested on Monday after police found him in possession of 133 rounds for an AK-47 and 103 rounds of 9mm ammunition. This was the second time within a year that the officer had been arrested for the same offence. In December, he was allegedly caught with ammunition and R10 000 in counterfeit money. That case was thrown out of court because vital information had gone missing from the docket.

Grandfather allegedly rapes girl

A seven year-old schoolgirl shocked her teacher during a health lesson by saying that her grandfather had raped her, police said on Thursday.

Hijacked man bludgeoned to death

In a cruel twist of fate, a Glenwood man who turned paramedics and police away after he was hijacked on Tuesday night was brutally bludgeoned to death in his Moore Road home later that evening. The body of Arthur Rippin, 77, was found when police returned to his home to take a statement.

Pupil allegedly hacked to death by gang

A Cape Town high school pupil has been hacked to death in front of his parents in a brazen late-night gang attack. Thando Komani died after an attack on his family's home in Langa on Monday night. And while the Grade 9 pupil was being butchered with pangas, he fought only to protect his little two-year-old sister from harm.

Cops won't book thief

Pretoria - A man who caught a thief on his property in Mayville and took him to the police, was turned away at Wonderboom police station because there was "not enough evidence".

Rapists 'can't be rehabilitated'

The State on Wednesday urged Judge Leona Theron to hand down the maximum sentence possible for three men found guilty of rape as none of the three men could be expected to be rehabilitated. The men raped three Durban women at a beach house in Pennington, south of Scottburgh, on December 29 last year. Later that night they attacked and robbed a Sandton couple. The court heard that each three men had previously been convicted for a number of crimes and had served time in prison.

'He heard a pistol being cocked'

A Sabie man believes that if his brother-in-law had not fought fiercely with a robber, he and his father would probably have been "executed". The two robbers arrived at Global Products at Tweefontein near Sabie at about 07:00 and attacked the two men. They were forced to lie on the ground while their office was searched and plundered. "Henk said one of the robbers later came and stood over them. When he heard a pistol being cocked, he realised that they were about to be killed," Basson said. Henk jumped up and tackled one of the robbers, and also hit him with a chair at one stage. "The next moment a shot was fired. One of the robbers shot Anton in the back," Basson said. While Henk was still struggling with one of the attackers, the other one shot him. He was hit in the stomach and hip.

Ryan Holmes and his girlfriend Tanja Lendowsky in January. (Beeld)

'We just need a miracle'

After being too scared to go out at night since being held up by armed robbers at his home six weeks ago, a Midrand Tukkie student ventured out for the first time on Sunday - only to be hijacked and shot in the head a few hours later.

Gunmen rob Carnival City casino

An armed gang of about 15 men shot and wounded several people in the Carnival City casino on Johannesburg's East Rand shortly after midnight on Sunday. They fired shots inside, wounding several people and assaulted one customer with a firearm. The gang also robbed patrons of cellphones and wallets. Police confronted them at the exit as they tried to make their getaway in several cars and a shootout ensued. Two police officers were wounded and were in a stable condition.

Court case plagued with strange delays

Three rapists' sentencing had been postponed 20 times since 2005 by controversial High Court Judge Ntsikelelo Poswa. Then, he also granted the men bail - without them seeking it. Two of the men disappeared last month.

'Cops left me to be raped'

When Marilyn White tearfully begged the police to rescue her from her child-sex abuser and mental patient ex- husband, they accused her of being drunk and trying to punish a "kind man".

Teen kills gran

A 17-year-old schoolboy who killed his grandmother because she would not give him any money, was sentenced in the Durban High Court to 10 years' imprisonment on Friday.

'No, I'm not going to Voertsek'

"Voertsek!" ("Get lost") That was the response from three armed hijackers when a young pregnant woman from Kempton Park begged them to hand over her two-year-old child before they drove off with her vehicle. "I became hysterical and pleaded for him to give me my child. After I had repeated my plea several times, he picked her up and gave her to me." Shortly after Prinsloo's car had been hijacked, a 60-year-old woman was shot nearby, while being hijacked in her driveway.

Heist millionaires

Cash-in-transit heists created at least 46 millionaire gangs last year. Many of the criminals who took part in targeting security companies who transport cash may not be behind bars. They are more likely to be free and enjoying the fruits of their lethal criminal labour - lavish lifestyles, fast cars, beautiful women and the respect of their communities.

'Hefty' men rape schoolgirl

Two hefty men grabbed the Grade 9 pupil while she was on her way home. "The two took her to an opened veld near to her school and raped her."

Famous DJ hit hard by murder, rape of aunt

A DJ's mom murdered and her one year old grandson left next to her body for a day and a half. In case you believe whinging about crime is the white perogative, this was another one of the many township murders.

Woman was stabbed while holding baby - police

Lauren Shankland, 28, had been bludgeoned and stabbed to death during a robbery late on Thursday afternoon. Indications were that she had been holding the 2-month-old baby when she was attacked.

Image of 'butchers' burnt in her memory

At 4.15am on November 13 2005, Collette Borain awoke inside a horror-movie scene.

Her husband Christopher was being butchered by a gang of robbers armed with steak knives and a long breadknife. This week she faced them in court.

Matric robbed in their exam

54 students, supervised by four staff members, were nearing the end of their accounting exam on Wednesday when they were held at gunpoint while the school was robbed.

Tongue, genitals removed

The mutilated body of a 17-year-old boy was found near Pella Village in Madikwe on Thursday, North West police said. His tongue and genitals had been removed. Meanwhile, a 13-year-old boy who was found mutilated on August 5 near a village outside Rustenburg remained in a serious condition, Jacobs said.

Ex-lover shot in the face

A second Pietermaritzburg woman has become the victim of domestic violence after she was shot in the face, police said on Friday.

Rapist: I'm really stressed

As a couple was walking home at midnight after visiting their minister, Allah attacked them, knocked the man unconscious with a large stone and throttled his wife until she too was unconscious before raping her. The rapist is now stressed because he is a prison far from home.

Men avenged 'witchcraft' murder

Three men in the Mpoza municipality in Lusikisiki in the Eastern Cape have been arrested on Thursday for the murder of two men who they alleged had used witchcraft to kill their parents.

Jhb cop shot during robbery

A policeman was shot while responding to a robbery. It happened after a Fairvale couple was woken by the sound of breaking glass in their Wilson Street home in the early hours of the morning and they alerted police.

Man shot 10 times by robbers survives

An employee of a cash loan company in Port Elizabeth was shot ten times after three men tried to rob the business on Friday morning.

Farmer's killers get life

The farmer was driving to his Daviddale farm in Amsterdam near Ermelo on July 4 last year when he was approached and stopped by the four men. The four shot Wolfaardt and set his car alight.

Baby scalded with boiling water

It was alleged that the child's 18-year-old mother had a misunderstanding with her brother at their home in Q Section, Umlazi on Saturday.

"The brother apparently took boiling water and threw it over the little boy."

Tannie makes robbers tidy up

An elderly woman who was tied up and had to watch helplessly while burglars cleaned out her house for the second time in a fortnight, nevertheless made sure they cleaned up before leaving.

Hijackers run rampant on KZN North Coast

A man was wounded and a woman and two good Samaritans robbed of their vehicles amid a high-speed chase on the KwaZulu-Natal North Coast.

Life terms for 'needless killing of an innocent'

After robbing 63-year-old Lynette Oosthuizen, who lived alone on a Boston, KwaZulu-Natal, farm, two intruders strangled her to prevent her from identifying them. She was killed on the evening of 23 August after she surrendered her money, a gun, jewellery, her bakkie keys and other items to them. They put her body in her bakkie, drove to the Bulwer area and threw her body over a cliff.

Rapist warns six-year-old not to tell

A six-year-old girl has been lured to a man's shack and raped in Tembisa on the East Rand. The man lured her to his shack where he undressed her, raped her and then warned her not to tell anyone. However, her mother spoke to her when she found the child crying, and went to the police. The rapist was arrested. Police also arrested a 30-year-old man in Tembisa on Wednesday for the rape of a 10-year-old girl in February.

Robbers slit security guard's throat

A security guard at a Durban school was killed when a group of armed robbers slit his throat and then proceeded to rob the school. Eight men armed with knives cornered the night watchman at the Junajarth Primary School and proceeded to cut his throat. They then left him to bleed to death before knocking on the door of the school caretaker. The men took a DVD player, a television set, jewellery and cash from the caretaker's house before they broke into the school tuck shop. R500 and some stock was stolen from the tuck shop.

Cop killed in Soweto shootout

A policeman died in a shootout with robbers during a car chase in Soweto on Wednesday morning. He and his partner gave chase to a stolen vehicle when they saw it at Booysens in Johannesburg. A shootout ensued in Zola North. The sergeant was killed. The three robbers escaped. They were thought to have been armed with AK-47 assault rifles.

Man shot dead outside bank

A man was shot dead outside a Standard Bank branch in Boksburg North on Monday. While walking to his car parked at a Total garage in Atlas Road, the 50-year-old man was approached by three men. "One of them took out a handgun and shot him in the chest, fatally wounding him."

Young boy's genitals cut off

An eight-year-old boy's genitals were sliced off in bushes near a rivulet in Malamalele, near Giyani, Limpopo. The boy was playing in a street near his home when a 23-year-old man dragged him into the bushes on Saturday. Police caught the man later in possession of the body parts. He told the police he had intended selling them.

Surely a better way to deal with strikes?

2007-09-04T22:21:00.000+02:00

The recent South African public servants strike had me thinking.

Of course our teachers are poorly paid. Of course our police are badly paid.

But we also must have one of the most unproductive, corrupt public services in the world. Some argue that poor pay is at the route of the problem. I wonder.

The flip side of the coin is that our government expenditure runs at about 40% of GDP. Under the inflation targeting regime we have adopted (quite appropriately according to most modern economists), adding to the public servant wage bill quickly works its way into the inflation figure. Add to this the inevitable and soon to be seen dramatic increases in electricity costs, and inflation could enter an upward spiral.

My thoughts ran to a simple solution. Why not accede to the union demands and tie the increases to performance? If productivity improvements match the increase, the increase has a neutral impact on inflation.

It drives me mad when I drive along the streets and see water leaks that have been running for weeks. Of course the phenomenal apathy of residents is largely to blame. But, imagine if the employees of the water authorities had their bonus tied to the percentage of water of the total city water bill that is unbilled / lost? I'd bet we'd see a change in performance.

The same logic can be applied to many other measures. Percentage of failed matric students. Crime rates in an area. Etc.

Of course performance management is legendary for its difficulty in implementing. Read Freakonomics for examples of the difficulty in implementing teacher performance bonuses.

But the beauty is that it is very difficult for unions to argue against. They'd sound like real charlies arguing against a generous offer linked to performance. "What, you don't believe good performance should be rewarded?"

But you know why the whole idea is a non-starter? Most of our public service wouldn't know performance management if it hit them upside the head. And that is the real problem.

Are you growing?

2007-08-24T11:43:00.000+02:00

No, not like a tree.

Personal growth. The kind which makes you wiser, stronger, a better person.

People have different priorities. Personal growth has always been one of my top priorities. Doing stuff I've done before that does not challenge me is one sure fire way to get me irritated, impatient, etc. Of course there is a lesson in this too. Maturing means understanding that most of life is inevitably going to involve the mundane. Dealing with that and looking for the opportunities to grow is growth in itself.

But growth also takes extramural effort. Reading is a big part of growing. While researching something on the Internet qualifies (and has happily made readers of many more people than would otherwise be the case), working through a book still has a big role to play in growing knowledge. It's kind of like following someone on a journey.

Going back to varsity has meant I'm being challenged with all sorts of new things. Doing post grad maths after 15 years since my first year maths course is one such challenge. Sitting in a course on competition economics is another.

The latter left me feeling exhilarated after Wednesday's lecture. I learnt something on game theory and Cournot equilibriums that was immediately applicable to a client situation. I did some work for the client based on the learning the next day. Now that's a return on investment!

But growth takes work. I'm sold out at the moment and carrying a full time varsity course load rather than a part time one. This means I'm back to bad habits such as hardly sleeping and not pre-reading for lectures, etc.

is there a god? (wrt Fall Out Boy...)

2007-07-21T20:02:00.000+02:00

It would seem so - i walked up to the fall out boy entrance, sign in hand, "ticket to buy please." i had asked and no one had seen anyone selling. I asked the guard at the gate. "yoh! This guy over here!"
the guy looked at me, leaned over and said, "here, present."
amen.
(this post from my mobile)

UPDATE: BTW, concert was cool, but this was the worst sound I have ever heard at a concert. This includes concerts at the Good Hope Centre in Cape Town, notorius for its bad sound, and Bon Jovi at Green Point where they blew their mid range amps. On the latter occassion, the sound engineer managed to compensate. Last night, to say the sound was "muddy" would be an understatement - at times you couldn't hear the lead vocalist.

The Fall Out Boy website
Joe Trohman's blog with today's post about their African trip - to Uganda and SA - including pictures and commentary about the gig at the Dome and their game drive

Have you got a spare ticket to Fall Out Boy?

2007-07-16T21:34:00.000+02:00

Fark.

Ok, help. It took a while to find someone to go to Fall Out Boy with. Hey, not everyone has good taste.

By the time I convinced a girl who had an invite to shaparone a 14 year old with a complimentary ticket to take up the offer, the show had been sold out. So now I'm in the dog box.

If you know of anyone selling a main floor standing ticket to this Friday's show, please comment on this post.

Is Microsoft trying to sabotage Linux?

2007-06-28T13:41:00.000+02:00

My life has been a technology hell this past month and a bit. I appear to have become one of those people who causes technology to explode when I walk past.

First one of my server hard drives went. The RAID saved my butt and it was then a matter of ordering replacements from the States via eBay. They finally arrived, but to do the capacity expansion (I ordered bigger hard drives) I had to back up all the data, replace the drives and then retsore the data - not a trivial task for a few hundred Gigs of data. This was made more difficult because my DLT drive is still busted (it will cost thousands to fix). However, although time consuming, the drives are in. They are reconditioned drives and two failed on start up - which is where I got lucky because I ordered two extra.

The new laptop I bought to replace the stolen one arrived with Windows Vista for Business. I resized the partition to install a dual boot of Debian Linux, and disaster. Vista would no longer boot. So I've been working exclusively in Linux for the last month while I've tried to sort out the Vista problem. This has allowed me to develop an appreciation of key migration issues. The biggest? For me, tables in Powerpoint. Almost all my consulting documentation ends up in Powerpoint (roll on the consulting jokes). Tables are critical for formatting data on a slide. And Impress (the OpenOffice.org equivilent) doesn't do them. No. Kidding.

Solving the Vista problem has been a ball-ache of note. The recovery disk will not boot if you have resized the orginal install partitiion and IBM suggested I buy a copy of Vista - at a few thousand rand - to replace the OEM version on my machine. This after much efforty including a trip to the East Rand to the Laptop distribution and support warehouse.

I finally found documentation on the issue here after arriving at a similar conclusion.

The key is being able to run "chkdsk" on the affected Vista partition. You can either boot with a NTFS-capable start disk and run it from there, or you can run ntfsfix from Linux and then boot your Vista partition which will launch "chkdsk".

This a pretty huge issue - most Linux installations now make use of partition resizing in order to turn a Windows machine into a dual-booting machine. This issue results in a broken Windows installation. Sabotage?

As if the above pains were not enough, I dropped my cell phone into some water. With my old laptop stolen, I was contactless! I have a backup on my LDAP server, but with the transition to a new eGroupware this had also got broken. Yup, I certainly have become Karma's bitch (taking over from Devil).

Anyway, much more about all of the above incidents, workarounds and fixes on my technical blog.

After a week of drying out, I tried my phone yesterday - et voila! It works. Together with the Vista fix, the arrival of my new wireless router (after six months of fighting with Digital Planet) and my new UPS, does this mark a change in my techinical fortunes. Please God let it be so.

Do you know anyone who has decapitated a live dog with a chainsaw?

2007-06-19T17:04:00.000+02:00

No? Thought not.

Two guys from Delmas did it though - a live husky.

And they want to pay an admission of guilt fine and be done with it.

I say put the arseholes in Pollsmoor with some of the more infamous gangs and let them suffer for a few years.

What is wrong with people in this country?

From News24:

Dog decapitated with chain saw
19/06/2007 15:55 - (SA)

Johannesburg - A Delmas magistrate has refused the offers of two men who wanted to pay admission of guilt fines after admitting to using a chain saw to decapitate a live husky dog.

The SPCA said both Phillip Matthysen and Alec Sirate pleaded guilty to a charge of animal cruelty.

The case was postponed to July 24.

Is my burglar mad?

2007-06-12T13:51:00.000+02:00

So I was robbed. And he came back. So robbers do sometimes come back. Once.

But last night he came back again and tried to rob my neighbours. Oh yes.

The bugger is so bold, he didn't waste any sleep this time. At 22h00, my neighbour's wife walked into the bedroom and was confronted by the sight of a dread locked man standing in her garden. Of course she screamed. This either did not bother the burglar - or he froze before bolting.

I was in the shower when my phone rang. I am the body corporate trustee in charge of security. "Sorry to bother you so late IITQ, but would this be a convenient time to talk?"

My neighbour must be the most polite person on earth. "(L) spotted a guy in our garden and we've let the guards know and called the police. Should I be doing anything else?"

So I called our suburb's security and once again we had ex-soldiers (ex-recces, the SA equivalent of the SAS/Marines) with assault rifles running through the complex.

Naturally our gardening staff are a little concerned - they are after all having polygraph tests today. So post us having not found the terrorist again, one of the gardeners volunteered to take the security guys to the homeless vagrants up the road to quiz them. Shortly later I had two scared looking vagrants on my doorstep, one munching hungrily on some bread. Odd. But I didn't question that - other things were more odd and more pressing.

My gardener, "These guys know the guy who owns the bag we found with the torch from your house. He has dreadlocks and his name is Terence."

Alrighty. Turns out Terence is a Zimbabwean who smash and grabs from cars in Sandton, sells dagga to the builders in the area and has the nickname Rasta. It seems the man's talents are expanding.

Talents which, by the way, include getting over electric fences, past guards and up 2,5m walls.

By now, half the world's private security and the police are in my complex. I take the homeless to the police and they repeat the story. The police and the suburb security resolve to catch the man the next day. For his sake, I hope the police get him first. The security have offered to bring him to me.

Meanwhile, my home is becoming a massive worksite and interrogation room. The polygrapher is in my study quizzing the frightened gardeners. The alarm people are rewiring and adding everywhere. By coincidence the pond guy arrived to fix something. The carpenter arrived to fix my damaged door and lock. The complex security management are on their way. My client deliverables are way behind. And I write a maths exam next week. And I need sleep.

Oh, turns out one of the ex-recces bought the vagrant the bread as a tongue loosener. Apparently it worked.

WTF?

2007-06-10T20:48:00.000+02:00

After sleeping through my Monday night robbery, I was awake for its reprise last night.

I'd worked until 03h00 and was settling in for my sleep when I heard a noise. Armed with a piece of steel rebar that has been beside my bed since Monday, I inched down the dark passage. Never turn the lights on they say - you become a better target for a bullet.

I rounded the corner to see the shape of a crouching burglar on my patio. My shout as I chased towards him was the weird roar, "You fucking bastard!"

The dark shape turned and ran. He slipped as he tried to cross my koi pond. In a flash he was up again. He raced across the garden an vaulted the garden wall into the complex gardens.

I raced back to my room, called the police, suburb security and armed response.

I spent the next hour scouring the complex with first the suburb security, ex-recces with assault rifles, then the police and then the armed response.

Nothing. Either this guy knows a good way over our boundary wall and electric fence or he's coming from the inside.

All I know is he's one brazen fucker.

How do you technically recover from laptop theft?

2007-06-07T11:05:00.000+02:00

Right. So after the recent excitement of a stolen laptop, I need to go through the process of setting up a new laptop and recovering data, etc.

I'll make this useful by blogging about the IT trials and tribulations on my tech blog.

In the mean time, consider the following:

Install a stolen laptop tracker on your PC - if the fuckers ever connect to the net, it'll let you know and provide their ISP details

Keep invoices, serial numbers, etc in a safe place to facilitate police and insurance reports

Get one of those cable alarms that screams if your laptop is moved

Backups really are important - use a syncronisation app like iFolder to sync your laptop with the server when it connects to the network

Encrypt your harddrive - I am now a prime candidate for identity theft

Password protect the BIOS on your laptop - same reason as above

.

So I've been busy setting up the new laptop. What a mission. Anyway, it is a beautiful new beast. Follow the progress on my techie blog.

Here it is:

Vital stats here.

Where do all the stolen goods go?

2007-06-05T20:52:00.000+02:00

There have to be thousands and thousands of stolen laptops and cell phones in South Africa. Where do they all go?

It bugs the shit out of me that people buy stolen goods. Without the market there would be no theft.

I'm thinking about it because I've just had to run out and buy a new laptop. And I will have to buy a new DVR and DVDs tomorrow. After the brazen fuckers broke into my house and stole them while I slept last night. Of course I'm lucky. I could have woken up, etc, etc.

But I've been thinking a lot today about the arsehole who's going to buy my old laptop for a few hundred bucks.

Meanwhile: new laptop + Office 2007 = R20000. DVR = R3000. DVDs = R2000. The stuff that's missing that I have not figured out yet? All the work from the three weeks since my last back up?

I want to box somebody...

Thank goodness for technology?

2007-06-03T23:04:00.000+02:00

On Friday night one of my server's hard drives went to hard drive heaven. This resulted in many pretty messages printed on the screen and many pretty words pouring out my mouth.

It reminded me how dependent on technology each of us is. That server has a ton of my life on it.

Not only that, but after my tape drive failed a year ago, my effort to procure a new drive from a bloke in Beijing through eBay were frustrated by the fact that he was a thief. $750 US down the drain. So my backups are way out of date.

Luckily, I invested in RAID. The miracle of technology means that I merely have to put in a new drive and it will be rebuilt. I don't even have to switch the machine off when replacing the drive.

So pray that my new eBay drive order goes according to plan. If another drive in the RAID fails during the interim, I'm toast.

What does the future of the desktop look like?

2007-05-27T17:05:00.001+02:00

I installed Compiz on my PC yesterday. Oh my goodness. Eye candy deluxe.

I have a dual-booting laptop with Debian Linux on one partition and Windows XP on another. I installed Compiz on my Linux partition. "Compiz is a compositing window manager that uses 3D graphics acceleration via OpenGL. It provides various new graphical effects and features on any desktop environment, including Gnome and KDE."

To those of you that imagine Linux / UNIX to be a green screen terminal-style command prompt, now's the time to take a closer look. Hell, if you're a Linux/UNIX guru, now's the time to take a closer look!

You know all the eye candy special effects on Mac OS X and Windows Vista? Take a look (a pretty good look at a whole lot of effects very quickly on a high-end 64bit machine) at Linux (Beryl is a downstream fork of Compiz that has now be remerged with the original project):

http://youtube.com/watch?v=QLuOlgu5dsA

The cube effect draws on the Linux/Unix "multiple desktop" metaphor. Even in the days of terminals, you could hotkey between visually and logically seperate command lines. The same capability is present in window managers (like KDE), where you can hotkey between seperate GUI desktops. I find this easier than Alt-tabbing between windows or minimising everything to try and sort through hat I have open. It also allows me to group tasks together (such as development on one desktop, mail and producitivity tools on another, and office stuff on another).

This demo shows (with a cool ambient garage beat) a feature-by-feature breakdown - part 1. Part 2.

Another good demo is here.

And another.

This demo shows a dual head (two monitors joined into one desktop) setup with Compiz(now all the traders are going to want fancy GUIs on their trading floors - take a look at the crazy trader pics here).

Crazy trader desktops!

Here's the Novell presentation about Compiz/XGL/Linux (SUSE distro) features.

Here's a narrated demo of a guy running at 2560X1600 - it will give you an idea of how efficient XGL and Compiz are. The guy also shows CPU usage using Compiz.

Obviously it's not really realistic to watch this on Youtube resolution, but it gives you an idea of the effects. You can have a look at some screenshots here which will give you an idea of the higher res effect.

For those of you wondering if this is lifted from Vista - one of those patents you've heard about - if you look at the dates on these Youtube videos, you'll see these features predate Vista.

Is this just eye-candy or is it useful? I've believed for a long time that our computing experience is limited by the screen desktop paradigm. Is your physical desktop really 15-, 17- or even 20 inches? I think these types of efforts to make the desktop more three dimensional help us escape from that trap. I often think about those classic scenes from "The Lawnmower Man" and "Disclosure" where the characters don goggles and conduct their computing experience in a 3D visual world. The 3D library so brilliantly portrayed in Disclosure as a metaphor for filing really works for me.

The virtual reality machine in Disclosure

If you've seen Minority Report, you've already seen a desktop very similar to the Linux one in these demos - it's just been moved to a large transparent flat panel (that technology is also close to being available).

The "desktop" in Minority Report

In fact, compiz with a touchscreen LCD monitor gives a Minority Report like effect. See this Youtube video.

Most of the underlying technology for this stuff exists in pockets. Second Life is a virtual world we use as a community environment. I've got excited about that before. But it is also used to create a 3D commercial experience for businesses. Might businesses also use it for virtual meeting places for multi-national staff? Or as a virtual environment to store data in a visual way a la the library in Disclosure?

I have no doubt that one day visual stuff will be trasmitted to our brain and overlaid on our the view from our retina the way it is in the Terminator. The technology is already available! Be it through an implanted chip, electrodes we wear, or some new wireless technology.

Already, wearable displays allow gamers to see overlays of computer data on their real environment.

While I wait for the world to catch up, I might just buy one of those giant LCD display for my desk and hook it up to Linux....

It's better than doing this:

Is eNatis broken because of IT basics being ignored?

2007-05-27T11:53:00.000+02:00

The eNatis scandal has captured South Africa's imagination and been the subject of ire. The reasons are easy to understand. If you were one of those queuing for days waiting for a drivers licence or test that is essential to your getting a job, or missing work for days in order to be there, you'd also be upset. Or if you were a car manufacturer and were losing business (car sales were down 23% after the system introduction due to the inability to process new car registrations) and faced laying off workers, you'd also be upset.

But what bothers me is I can almost see the reasons. I say that having been nowhere near the systems or licensing service. But I can guess. Our minister of transport has told parliment that transactions are up to 619 000 transactions per day on the new system from 287 000 transactions on the old system [source].

What happened to require that increase in transactions? Backlog of work caused by downtime during the implementation could be one cause, but I'm betting on another.

The new systems is apparently a centralised conglomeration of a old systems, allowing better citizen management and supposedly service. So that could certainly account for an increase. but I'm betting on another cause.

The new system appears also to be much more "fat server, thin client" architected. Now that certainly has potential to require a massive increase in "transactions" between branches and datacentre. And I think that's the beginning of the issue. Some IT and PR blokes are feeding the minister stuff to make the system seem less inept. He's talking about IT transactions (e.g. record updates, etc) versus citizen transactions (e.g. new car registrations). Now that is a compeletely meaningless statistic. The relationship between citizen transactions and IT transactions is completely dependent on the system development architecture. In fact, poor development is typically characterised by large numbers of IT transactions to customer transactions. Lack of understanding of scalability and resource requirements usually results in this. I'll bet that the new development is characterised by a massive number of database transactions per citizen transaction and that is at the heart of this mess.

Further, given my guess that the new architecture has followed a thin client model, I wouldn't be surprised to find the developer has built a terminal server configuration - meaning that sessions are actually hosted on the server and users are actually seeing a image of the session on their machine. Terminal server implementations mimic the days of mainframes and dumb terminals (some of you may remember those old green screens). Such architectures are great for call centres or data processing shops where people are located in the same building as the server. They're typically lousy for distributed architectures where the design puts a huge load on the network. The admission that many problems are being caused by link failures makes me believe this guess is true.

Finally, I'm shocked at the level of ineptitude that caused this to happen. The developers apparently ignored the auditor general's report that predicted an 80% chance of failure was part of the problem. But way before that report was delivered, testing should have picked up these problems. These days testing is pretty easy to do. Automated scripts can fire transactions at a system far faster than humans can simulate and it should have become quickly apparent whether the system was scaling or not. The project manager's excuse that problems were caused by things that were not able to be tested during development does not wash.

In the mean time, I'll bet that some of the hardware, networking and database suppliers are making a fortune as the government attempts to scale the infrastructure to cope with the bad design.

Of course the above is all conjectre, but I'd place some bets its true.

Which are the best movies of all time?

2007-05-19T23:11:00.001+02:00

It's one of those lists everybody likes to make and debate. It's a marketing technique at music and DVD stores. Can one actually make such a list? Or do tastes change? If you look at the Oscars through history, some oscars are clearly better than others.

I don't think you can make one list - I think it has to be split by genre.

Here is mine. I've kept it to movies I've seen/remember. There are others I think I saw when I was a kid that I need to watch again - like "The French Connection," "Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid" and "The Good, The Bad And The Ugly" . I can hardly remember them now.

The following are not an attempt at a best 10 or 5. They are not ordered. They are merely the best as they came to mind. I will update them as I remember more.

Period drama

Howard's End
Remains Of The Day
Room With A View
Pride and Prejudice (2005)

Musical

The Wall - Pink Floyd
Fame
Grease
Annie

Romantic Comedies

As Good As It Gets
Notting Hill
Groundhog Day
Love Actually

Best Bond Movies

For Your Eyes Only
Casino Royale
Thunderball
Octopussy
Tomorrow Never Dies

Action/Adventure

The Bourne Supremacy
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
Terminator 2
Die Hard
Heat
Fight Club
Collateral
Snatch
The Last Boy Scout (probably not on too many "movie buff" lists, but it cracks me up)

Drama

The Godfather I
Gladiator
Finding Neverland
Dead Poets' Society
American Beauty
Garden State
Chocolat
A Beautiful Mind
Requiem for a Dream
Amadeus
Crash
Yesterday
Stand By Me

Thriller

Man on Fire
The Fugitive
Gorky Park
Sixth Sense
Seven
LA Confidential
Silence Of The Lambs

Western

Unforgiven

Science Fiction / Fantasy / Superheroes

ET
The Lord of The Rings - Return of The King
Star Wars - The Empire Strikes Back
12 Monkeys
Gattaca
Spiderman 2
The Matrix
Batman Begins

Comedies

A Fish Called Wanda
Raising Arizona
Caddyshack
There's Something About Mary

Animated

Jungle Book
Shrek 2
A Bug's Life
Happy Feet
Finding Nemo
The Incredibles

(I have yet to see the Toy Story movies - difficult to believe, I know)

Are copyrights and patents wrong?

2007-05-14T19:24:00.000+02:00

It's a question that may come to define the early part of the millennium.

To recap, it is the issue being debated regarding people's right to copy music, software, etc.

On some issues the answer seems simple. However, ask people under 25 what they think of digital rights management technology (DRM) and they might just hiss and spit.

Frankly, I think most of the people insisting that intellectual capital should be free would probably change their tune if they had a major recording contract. And had slaved for 10 years in a garage with some mates, surviving on handouts from family and singing covers in a rowdy pub each night.

Things become a bit more complicated in the world of Free and Open Source Software (FOSS). This includes the GNU Linux operating system. And thousands and thousands of other pieces of software running in places as diverse as on PCs in people's homes to mainframes in the datacentres of multinational banks.

It is a truly amazing world where people work half their nights on software they don't see a cent for. Few would predict that such a model could be sustainable - and some believe it isn't. But that's a different post.

A long running legal saga has been the SCO versus Linux suit. SCO alleges that Linux has copied substantial portions of the original UNIX software.

Now the fight has got really big - Microsoft has threatened to sue developers, distributors and users of Linux for 235 patent infringements. The threat culminated in a deal between Microsoft and Novell (distributor of the SUSE flavour) where Microsoft agreed not to sue Novell or users of SUSE in return for a collaborative distribution agreement.

More on the developments with regard to the 235 patents in this Fortune article.

It seems that things are getting nasty now that Microsoft perceives a larger threat from FOSS.

But it does bring up the topic of what can be copyrighted / patented in software. Microsoft refuses to disclose the patents it feels that it feels have been infringed. Do they include the File menu in the upper left corner of the window? Or are they excerpts of source code lifted from Microsoft programmes.

I'm sceptical. The American style of pre-emptive patenting of an idea by people who have no means of implementing it irritates the crap out of me.

Copying code or precise user interfaces is one thing. It should be illegal. But if this is a frivolous attempt launched by Microsoft on competitive grounds, it should be fought hard.

Perhaps FOSS foundations might encourage Apple to sue Microsoft for copying its idea of a GUI operating system....

More on this in the Financial Mail blog.

Torvalds and Moglen agree: MS patent claims are 'FUD'

What are these little lights for?

2007-03-27T00:03:00.000+02:00

See them? The little ones down low?

Are they so that I can see even better? Or to show I drive a cool car?

Bloody hell! They're FOG lights! That's F-O-G!

Why one earth most South African drivers who have them see the need to drive with them perpetually on, I don't know.

How many medals will the boys win?

2007-03-26T23:34:00.000+02:00

So we got beat out of the medals in the 4X100m relay. Damn. But apparently the team was experimenting prior to Bejing. Pity it was in the World Championship final.

Roland Schoeman is still our world beater though. Wow. Ryk Neethling gets most of the attention in South Africa being more glamourous and based here. I remember hearing at the time the team achieved the Athens success how Roland struggled to even afford a cellphone. He won the 50m butterfly final today. Awesome! Apparently he swam so hard he only took one breath!

There is still lots to come. See here for the full schedule.

Are you registered organ donor?

2007-02-20T22:01:00.000+02:00

If there is one thing South Africa does know how to do, it is how to produce actuality news programmes.

I just watched Special Assignment about kidney failure and the misery this results in for most sufferers due to lack of donors in South Africa.

A major cause of this are traditional beliefs. For my international readers, South Africa is an astonishing mix of first and third worlds. While some live Western life styles with pretty much everything you get in places like London, New York, etc, the majority live in poverty in rural areas or townships.

Among the poor, superstition and traditional beliefs hold sway. And these are against organ donation. Some believe that the body is needed for resurrection (a version of christian belief) and organ donation damages this future. Some believe that the organs contain elements of your ancestors and this results in mixing of ancestors.

All of which means South Africa is dreadfully short of donors.

I've always wanted my organs to be donated if something happened to me and this prompted me to formalise things.

It took 2 minutes to fill in the form on the South African organ donation site and they are now sending me a pack containing information and stickers to affix to my drivers licence, etc.

The other day I read the blog of someone who is donating their kidney to a friend . What unbelievable guts to choose to give up one of your kidneys for the rest of your life!

The South African Organ Donor Foundation site: http://www.odf.org.za

Do you know Jars of Clay?

2007-02-16T12:07:00.000+02:00

My goodness, how did I not know Jars of Clay? They've apparently been around for ages. Here's their discography:

Good Monsters (2006)
Redemption Songs (2005)
Who We Are Instead (2003)
Furthermore–From the Studio : From the Stage (2003)
The Eleventh Hour (2002)
If I Left the Zoo (1999)
Much Afraid (1997)
Drummer Boy - EP (1995)
Jars of Clay (1995)

They came to my attention through the release of their latest single, Dead Man Carry Me which is receiving much airplay in South Africa at the moment. It's foot-tapping, catchy stuff. It starts off with a very David Byrne-ish style riff and verse and heads into a Killers-like chorus.

Lyrics for Dead Man Carry Me:

January 1, I got a lot of things on my mind
Looking at my body through a new spy satellite
I try to lift a finger but I don't think I can make the call
So, tell me if I move 'cause I don't feel anything at all....

Carry Me, I'm just a dead man lying on the carpet can't find a heart beat
Make me breathe, I want to be a new man, tired of the old one, out with the old plan

I woke up from a dream about an empty funeral
But it was better than the party full of people I don't really know.
They've got hearts to break and burn, dirty hands to feel the earth
There is something in my veins but I can't seem to make it work...won't work

So, carry me, I'm just a dead man lying on the carpet, can't find a heartbeat
Make me breathe, I want to be a new man, tired of the old one, out with the old plan..

Can you find a beat, inside of me? Any pulse?
Getting worse. Any pulse, getting worse? Inside of me....
Can you find a beat.

Carry me, I'm just a dead man lying on the carpet, can't find a heartbeat
make me breathe, I want to be a new man, tired of the old one, out with the old plan
Carry me, I'm just a dead man lying on the carpet can't find a heartbeat...
make me breathe, I want to be a new man, tired of the old one, out with the old plan.

Apparently, Jars of Clay is reference to 2 Corinthians 4:7, "But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us."

Which places Jars of Clay in the Christian band category with Sixpence None The Richer and Tree63. Who knew that P.O.D. was in an extension of this category?

The video below is an official release by Jars of Clay comprising user generated clips taken on mobile phones at their concerts. Cool huh?

Do new year's resolutions work for you?

2007-02-04T00:10:00.000+02:00

I'm not really one for new years' resolutions.

But I do like taking natural breaks in time like new years, new projects and birthdays to reflect and think of goals and ambitions.

So thinking about the year ahead - during the course of its first month, there are certainly some things I'd like to do.

My last year was about personal investment. After many years of burning the candle at both ends and reducing my reserves, it was time for introspection and consideration.

During the last ten years, my career value has increased tremendously as a result of experience. What I didn't do lot of was taking time out to invest in things I couldn't learn on the job.

The kinds of things I mean are reading, academics, etc. But they extend beyond purely increasing my career value to increasing my value outside of work too. Investing time with family, friends and relationships.

I've talked about academics and completed some studies though UNISA last year. I decided that residential postgraduate study in the US was unaffordable and had cost beyond any potential return on investment.

So I've registered for part-time studies at Wits this year and maybe at a late stage will look for a doctorate through a Ivy League school after a local masters. But that is so far away that not worth thinking of. Making a start is the most important thing and seeing how that goes.

Reading-wise, I made my largest ever amazon.com purchase over Christmas and have much reading ahead. My aim is to try for two books a month, but we'll see how that goes.

I'm just about through reading Stephen Covey's Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. I'm not sure why I've delayed reading one of the most successful business books of all time for so long, but I have found it a very useful read. Even if many other books have picked up on its recommendations, it provides a useful holistic framework for self-evaluation.

I bought a number of cooking books and am looking forward to improving my skills in the kitchen. My plan is to plan one new recipe a week. I'll shop for this and try it out. I'm enjoying my cooking a lot and improving gradually. In the meantime, my cookery book collection has expanded wonderfully:

Gym wise, thing took a serious setback after breaking from training for my Christmas holiday (dunb idea). Immediately after my return to gym I got the rindepest. For the first time in almost a year I was man down. After anti-biotics, rest, etc I made another return and after two gym sessions was hit by a second dose of this bloody bug. Apparently it is all over Jo'burg at the moment.

Anyway, my goal is to increase my number of training sessions from 2 per week to about 4 or 5. Fitness is key to dealing with limited sleep and maintaining good levels of concentration and general health in the year ahead.

Last year was bloody expensive too. Never, ever underestimate the opportunity cost of forgone salary progression. Whether it is lost debt reduction, lost pension contributions or merely salary raise progressions, the componded effect of taking those in your thirties will make you weep as a sixty-year old unless the benefits of the time off were seriously worthwhile. I was concious of this, so no real issue. Merely recognition that this year needs some serious financial rewards.

What was your unlikeliest kid fantasy?

2007-02-01T22:46:00.000+02:00

Hey, being a kid was great.

Closing my eyes and imagining myself in another life.

My fantasy was the not-unusual-circus-one. I imagined myself as a trapeze artist or tightrope walker. Or most especially, the breathtaking tumblers.

Cirque du Soleil - the most breathtaking show I've ever seen. I saw their Alegria performance at the Royal Albert Hall in London.

Thing was, this fantasy went on a bit long and my parents were quite worried whenever Boswell Wilkie came to town.

I even visited Keith Andersen, trainer of all South Africa's world famous trapeze acts and then production manager of Boswell Wilkie. I got the royal tour and was even introduced to the elephants. I shook trunks and fed each one. Keith Andersen was one of the inspirations for the South African movie, "The Flyer."

While the fantasy was not unusual, its fulfilment was unlikely. Which in retrospect is just as well. Sleeping on a bunk bed in circus trailer is less charming than it might once have been.

I got thinking about this recently when watching Madonna's Reinvention and Confessions tours on TV. Yeah I think the woman has some quirks, but I also think she understands the whole concept of Pop better than almost anybody since Warhol.

The part that got me reminiscing was the dance acts. Man, what I would have given to be able breakdance or just plain dance like that as a kid.

Take a look at Daniel Campos in the Hollywood routine below. Especially the hand-plant-effort near the end. Wow.

Daniel "Cloud" Campos headlines Hollywood during Madonna's reinvention tour

Given that he broke a wrist in a dance act once and that he is infinitely more athletic than me, I won't be taking up break dancing anytime soon.

(Good on ya for following the childhood dream, Cloud.)

When Ray of Light was released I saw an interview with Madonna. She talked of how she dreamt of fame and wanted it to fill a loneliness inside of her. When she was famous and stood on stage in front of thousands of screaming fans, she felt lonelier than ever before.

There's a lesson in there somewhere.

And before you ask, no I am not a Kylie fan ... At. All. Funny how that question follows a stated preference for Madonna.

(Can't believe I missed Depeche Mode and Madonna on tour last year - if I'd thought about it, I would have coughed up to catch them overseas. Who knows if DM will tour again.)